Dance Articles > Why Men Don’t Understand Sexism In Partner Dancing

Discussion in 'Dance Articles' started by SDsalsaguy, Mar 24, 2015.

  1. SDsalsaguy

    SDsalsaguy Administrator Staff Member

  2. Lioness

    Lioness Well-Known Member

    Thanks for sharing that...good article and I agree with most of the points.
    wooh and IndyLady like this.
  3. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
  4. IndyLady

    IndyLady Well-Known Member



    I brought up this issue in another thread on this forum a while ago. I have now had a talk with the offender and made it clear that this is not acceptable to me, unfortunately I am finding that old habits die hard.

    Great article.
  5. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    Of course you think that. Please mansplain how us women are supposed to feel.
  6. MaggieMoves

    MaggieMoves Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure on the authors age or experience, but considering her point on group classes being catered more to men, I wholeheartedly disagree. I've never been part of a group class where I felt that way. To be entirely fair though, retention of men in ballroom is important... As we're severely lacking them. I can understand why some studios would push groups like that.

    I do really like my hijack moves in swing though, although I'm not sure what most leads think. Most of them are surprised at first, but considering most ask me to dance again I don't think they mind not being in control for a split second.

    danceronice and CaliChris10 like this.
  7. Rhythmdancer

    Rhythmdancer Well-Known Member

    If you want to do partner dancing well, you have to respect and be emphatic to the person you're dancing with. A lot of the sexism in partner dancing is a lack of respect. A lot of leads can be extremely disrespectful and pompous ***holes.
  8. Mr 4 styles

    Mr 4 styles Well-Known Member

    I do really like my hijack moves in swing though, although I'm not sure what most leads think. Most of them are surprised at first, but considering most ask me to dance again I don't think they mind not being in control for a split second.

    in WCS a good female hijack adds tons of flavor to the dance. I danced socially with lady that was an expert at this and a very sexy and stylish dancer. we would get applause from the viewing audience at clubs or studios. And i just had to look cool!!
    MaggieMoves and stash like this.
  9. Mr 4 styles

    Mr 4 styles Well-Known Member

    i think the lindy hop community and the competitive standard dancer community may have slightly different issues in this regard
  10. DL

    DL Well-Known Member

    When I saw the title I did a double take. My own experience, and things I saw other men experience, led me to think of ballroom as an opportunity for men to be on the receiving end of sexism (and workplace harassment, for that matter) -- dance roles notwithstanding.

    To be clear: In most other contexts sexism and harassment seem (to me) mostly to manifest very disproportionately as problems women encounter with men. In ballroom, I saw some pretty clear types of poor behavior -- far more proportionate than anywhere else I've seen personally -- from men towards other men, men towards women, women towards men, and women towards women.

    (I saw a lot of good behavior, too!)

    It was all surprisingly equal-opportunity from my perspective.
  11. Juliskamagyar

    Juliskamagyar New Member

    Ha! What a bunch of histrionic baloney.

    'Woman are tired of being dance props'. Not this one. When led around the dance floor by my guy I often want to melt.

    Yesterday there were about 40 at our tango lesson. Breakdown about 25/15 female. Most women have to poke their male partners with a stick to get them out dancing.
    JoeB, Hedwaite, CaliChris10 and 2 others like this.
  12. cornutt

    cornutt Well-Known Member

    Once you use that word, rational discussion becomes impossible.
  13. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    Ok, Joe can share with us all his vast experience on being a woman in the dance world and how the article gets it wrong from his clearly experienced viewpoint on how women should feel. Better?

    It reminds me of many years ago. I went to my husband's old church, and they had a guest preacher. A 13 year old boy guest preacher. Who preached on how to be a good wife.
  14. DL

    DL Well-Known Member

    That puts a finger on a useful point in discussions like this one IMHO: It's trouble -- dare I say sexist, even, perhaps? -- when a {woman} claims to speak for all {women}. (Mix-n-match the {}s: woman/man, women/men, 13y.o. boy/wives, etc.)
  15. snapdancer

    snapdancer Well-Known Member

    Some people seem to think that a woman can't be sexist, nor can a minority be a racist.
    WildE and flightco like this.
  16. Lioness

    Lioness Well-Known Member

    I really don't want to get into this conversation on DF, but when a minority is bigoted towards a majority, it has a much lesser effect than the other way around.

    Also, racism tends to talk about large societal structures...laws, hiring practices, common attitudes, etc...Individuals can, of course, be prejudiced and bigoted.
  17. IndyLady

    IndyLady Well-Known Member

    Agreed. While not all the items in the article applied to me or the environments I have personally been in, a number of the author's points did hit home for me, including the ones I quoted in my previous post. Just because it hasn't happened to you, doesn't mean it hasn't happened to someone else.
  18. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    sigh...we all come to this debate with our own world of experience...and our opinion is going to be informed by one likes to be defined as a sexist...and we aren't even going into racism here....but there is a point to be made that there are somethings which, however much we might think we empathize, we cannot fully grasp about the experience of being something we are not...whether it be mother, police officer, minority, male...whatever.....

    I have danced with men who clearly relish the dominant aspects of being a lead...I have danced with men who are delighted to have a more reciprocal exchange.....I think that it is, rightly or wrongly, rather pointless to expect that in the average public social scenario, the room is going to be full of enlightened folks who have spent hours pondering the dance dynamic and are seeking ways to be more egalitarian about it....there is certainly a venue in which thinking folks can and do explore this....and that is wonderful....but it isn't likely to trickle into the average social setting anytime, and this isn't the same as saying "get a grip or get out", if a particular female wishes to have that sort of dynamic, she is likely going to haveto be willing to have a discussion about it with a prospective partner
    WildE, flightco, SwayWithMe and 2 others like this.
  19. SDsalsaguy

    SDsalsaguy Administrator Staff Member

    Can women be prejudiced against men? Sure. Can minorities be biased? Yup. But sexism/racism (or any other "ism") isn't only about bias! Rather, "isms" are about bias + power. So no, I'm sorry, biased or not women do not have the same power in society as men nor do minorities have the same power as majorities. Ignoring this profound difference is the luxury of being in a socially privileged position.
    basicarita, Bradamant, Jag75 and 5 others like this.
  20. DerekWeb

    DerekWeb Well-Known Member

    Think you are trolling for click through$
    flightco and danceronice like this.

Share This Page