Discussion in 'Dance Articles' started by SDsalsaguy, Mar 24, 2015.
Only a year?
Good points. It's funny because I was doing a beginner rumba class a few weeks ago just to work on little details, and there was another couple there. The female follow kept on telling her husband he was doing stuff wrong when in reality, both of them were doing it wrong. When she danced with me, she told me to teach her husband and I said "that's probably not a good idea, but I'm sure the instructor can help" lol.
I have a pretty comedic couple where she always yells at her husband. Then she wants me to dance with him and teach him to dance like me. He is extremely humble and kind and always just smiles. I usually explain to her that it took me over 20 years to be at the dance like I do now and he needs more lessons and maybe from a female instructor too. As I understand, he may have recently started some lessons with a female instructor and if true I'm happy to see that.
I always feel bad for the poor guys when their partners pick on them for not being able to lead like me.
This particular couple is hilarious. They really do care about each other but the way she yells at him is so funny.
So they must have been married for a long time lol. I've only been dancing for 9 months now but this couple has only been dancing for probably about 1 or 2 months now.
Social dance involves adopting the predefined roles of lead and follow. Usually men lead and women follow. I am a woman and I enjoy following a male lead. Though I occasionally lead and occasionally dance with women leads too.
I see nothing offensive in interchanging the terms woman-follow and man-lead. As this is how it most often is and IMHO it seems overly picky to complain about this.
As far as egalitarianism goes I see nothing unequal in the lead and follow roles. Both lead and follow are important and necessary to the dance. Neither is more important.
IMO it is a frequent mistake of feminists to adopt the position that traditional female roles are inferior to tradional male roles. Thus women try to act like men and disparage "feminine" women, which in and of itself perpetuates sexism. It would be better to honor and respect traditional feminine roles. To celebrate and enjoy gender differences. While still honoring every individual's right to make their own choices. (I.e. instead of pushing women to be engineers and CEOs, we should give teachers and nurses the respect they deserve, and let women choose their own careers without pressuring them either way.)
I enjoy following. I like dressing up and looking pretty. I like getting asked to dance (being pursued by men). I don't find any of it demeaning. It doesn't mean that I lose my power as a human being. It is a fun hobby for me that is all. I don't spend my life in subservience to men, but I do follow their lead during the cha cha.
And I enjoy the distinctiveness of the gender roles in dance. There needs to be a lead and a follow for the dance to work as it does. Everyone is free to adopt either the lead or follow roles for dancing as they chose. And if they don't like lead and follow maybe partner dancing just isn't for them.
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