I've been told the same by two different argentine female teachers. Both time it was about boleos. They said the lead has to give no choice. They were very clear about that. No inviting, no proposition, no need that the follower is competent enough to move on her own (following your torso). Nothing of that. Just, you use all your strength/energy/weight to give (and then stop) the momentum. I had strong arguments with them about that, and told them I would lead them the way they liked but only as an exercize and that it would never become a part of my tango.