Tango Argentino > Why some women are not asked to dance

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by Ampster, May 1, 2007.

  1. jfm

    jfm Active Member

    Hey I didn't mean I didn't want to dance with beginners! As I said, I do!
    I just don't want to dance with *bad dancers* and I know some who've been doing AT for 10 years and are still like Robo dancers -y'know how robocop goes through walls etc with brute strength, like that but barging through other dancers and twisting your arms off.
  2. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    Lol... ok. I gotcha. ;) I agree. I know some that have been dancing for many years, but some of these people don't take lessons. They just show up at socials expecting to learn by watching. And I used to ask these people to dance, because sometimes you might get them to start taking lessons. But sometimes people are stubborn and/or may not have the money to do so. So, I give them a benefit of a doubt.

    I mean I know I'm not the greatest dancer in the world, but I think that it would help if at the beginning of socials that dancers are given instructions as to how the dance floor works from how you travel to what lane (I call it lane) that you need to be in etc. I think that would be really helpful and might be kind of fun to watch if you have some fun with it. I've never seen it done though. But even a practice dance after learning the rules would be nice.

    But yeah, I understand. ;)
  3. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    i think you are fine. it was just a rant. and it takes the fun out of a rant if you have to be PC about every word you say and protect every sentence with qualifying remarks :)
  4. DancinAnne

    DancinAnne New Member

    2 years?
  5. tanya_the_dancer

    tanya_the_dancer Well-Known Member

    I am not an AT person, but I see where you are coming from. But I am not asked often and nowadays I usually just take initiative and ask
    the leaders I know.
  6. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    Interestingly I used the eye and non-verbal invitation strategy for a while yesterday night,..BUT for salsa, and for people I knew. ;-) I didn't have to walk as far then as the ladies would meet me half way. I like that. :p :D
  7. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    I started in Feb. last year, so I'm on my second year now. I should rephrase that. ;)
  8. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    but of course
  9. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    btw, spectator, not to highjack, but what exactly is your avatar all about?
  10. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    dunno...my feet have never hurt that badly
  11. spectator

    spectator Member

  12. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    You jumped me. I was going to paste this, so i'll do it anyway ;)

    The girls appear in court, charged with burning down their school. They are saved from prison sentences by a Professor who states that he will educate the girls how to behave.
    The Professor takes the Sixth Form girls on a sea voyage for an educational tour of Greece. However, the girls are kidnapped and are forced to defend themselves against the 35 sons of an Emir in Arabia, who want the girls as their wives. This time, the girls are grateful for the help of Ruby Gates. Finally, the Fourth Form girls come to the rescue of the Sixth Form girls.
  13. Don Silver

    Don Silver Member

    I get the opposite since I'm an older guy, with almost totally grey hair (and very white). Some women will turn me down and I suspect some of it is my age but they won't say that to me. (That's life... I just work to improve my dancing and eventually they don't care that I'm older...)

    This won't be news to you but men are visually oriented. Given a choice to dance with you in a skirt or jeans, the skirt will win for most guys. (Actually, the more sexy will win... Some women look better in jeans, some in a skirt...)

    Most guys are not that complicated... If they are choosing from shiny rims vs. stock aluminum rims on a car, the shiny ones are the first choice.

    Men will always notice you more when you are dressed up, even if it's not "fair". Turn down the ones you want, but it's not like most guys are deep thinkers in this area. When you are dressed up it more guys will notice you, on the dance floor or in the grocery store.

    As a side note, most of us (women AND men) carry ourselves differently when dressed "sexy" or "upscale". Others tend to notice... and respond according, even if they don't think about it directly.

    I suspect you'll get the same response with more guys opening doors for you at the grocery store or mall.

    Again, I'm not saying any of this is "fair" but men are not real complicated in this area.
  14. Debirah Holland

    Debirah Holland New Member

    One of my pet peeves is people who don't pay enough attention to their grooming. I'm sure everyone has experienced this - someone asks you to dance. They dance well... but there's an added, unwanted extra.... a smell! It's a good idea to go the extra distance when in such close contact - a shower, fresh clothes, teeth brushed, mints...etc! And don't over do it with the cologne!
  15. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    Words fail me...

    Sure - I'm not advocating "Dance with anyone, even if you're dead-tired, or he's a perv / smeller / yanker".

    I'm just saying that refusing to dance with someone because (for example) they're a beginner is hotshot-ism. And refusing to dance with someone because they haven't "obeyed the conventions of the cabaceo", when that person clearly just doesn't know those conventions, is IMO contemptible.
  16. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    Sorry if it sounds like we're all ganging up on you. :peace:

    I've got no problems with people using the cabaceo - what I object to is the rudeness of only using that, and ignoring / refusing some poor guy who didn't know the "culture" any better.

    I'd been learning tango for a year before I even heard of the cabaceo - I imagine a lot of other dancers are in similar positions.

    Fair enough - but, what would you do if an unknown person simply came up to you and asked you to dance?
  17. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    It amazes me that a few women can with a straight face simultaneously complain about the lack of men (good or otherwise) and also refuse to encourage men. Is the concept of cause-and-effect completely alien to them, or what?
  18. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    Huh, they're doing a remake... Hey. who took this off-topic? :p
  19. jfm

    jfm Active Member

    You know what? I would say yes if he asked in a polite way. And even if it's a horrible dance I will stay for the whole tanda, because it might get better and i don't want to be rude.

    It's people I *know* I hate dancing with who I avoid, actually this guy I didn't know, if he was obviously a robolead i might say no, but it wouldn't be in a patronising or nasty way.

    Actually it's very hard to say no to anyone, so I do try very hard to discourage certain people from asking, like looking for my keys, or going to the toilet when I see them looking in my direction with intent.
  20. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    Looking good gets you the first invitation to dance.

    Dancing good gets you the second.


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