Yes and yes I agree with what everybody else has said. My background: played three instruments in school and college so I understand time signatures, tempo, etc. Free style "danced" in HS and college (this was the 70s - stand apart and fake a seizure). Did the occasional "penguin" slow dance at weddings. Learned some country and western from some Oklahoma boys in the early 80s. Started ballroom with my (now) ex-significant other in January 07. My learning curve was definitely slower than hers, but she only really wanted to do the swing, which is still my weakest dance. She'd get ticked at me. As written, the guy does have to concentrate on footwork, the music and the lead. My instructor told the women in an early group class to cut the men some slack because odds were we couldn't do all three at once if we were just beginning. The music I had down (see above) but I was concentrating on steps and my lead WAS weak. As of today, I am tolerable (I think) in most dances (but swing) but it still takes me about two lessons to learn a step well while I see a number of women at my level picking it up pretty well in one. For example, we're doing a rumba step with three snap turns, a six step walk-around, half a box, three steps back and turn the lady back into close position. That would have killed me 6 months ago. Conversely, I now recognize an inexperienced follow really fast. (Yeah, I know it's MY job to make her look good...) So don't give up or get down on yourself. Take those lessons and dance with other people as well.