Salsa > Women refusing to dance....*(&!*&!!

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by Salsaonone, Mar 14, 2005.

  1. Salsaonone

    Salsaonone New Member

    Last night I saw a guy go up to a woman to ask to dance and she said no...then I saw another guy ask her to dance (she is right next to the dance floor) and she says no, So knowing that she will say no, I go up to her and ask her to dance a merengue...and everyone knows that if you have two feet that work, anyone can dance merengue...she replied she didnt know how to dance...and I said in as neutral tone as possible something to the effect of "so what this is merengue, the easiest dance in the world"...she replied "I just want to watch" I said "I dont care if you say no to me, but the only way you are going to get better is to go out and dance, have fun, and not be afriad to make mistakes"....and then I left her...later on, the same guys (must have known this girl) asked her to dance and she refused...for some reason this pissed me the guys are walking towards me and I tell them that they should go back to her and make her dance or tell her she should leave...hehe....and then the girl comes by and I told her you should dance with these guys, why the hell (edited for screen size) are you here? Im sure she just loves me now, and my frustration for these guys overweighed the fact that this particular woman was quite attractive (and didnt know how to dance, btw). I guess it just hit me the wrong way...these guys werent even strangers to this woman....ahhhhh!!!!!!! I guess she was too good for anyone to dance with....pisses me off!!! dance or leave!!!!!!!!!! I can understand a no thanks I just danced for 10 minutes.but not to everyone including the people she just to sit there next to the dance floor so men could come up to her and ask her the whole night and not even accept one dance invitation....did I mention that pisses me off?? How do I really feel about it??? Good question!! :evil: :evil:

    Ahem...Salsa rules....women who say no to everyone (not just a particualr person they dont like to dance with) stinks to high heaven..
  2. jon

    jon Member

    I find it works so much better when I spend emotional energy on having my own fun instead of caring about how other people choose to have fun.
  3. BrookeErin

    BrookeErin New Member

    Why can't people come just to watch or enjoy time with their friends? Dancing is a beautiful thing that we all appreciate. Some people don't feel comfortable dancing or maybe she's working up the nerve or maybe she has some unnoticeable problem that would making dancing difficult. I'm surprised at your anger over what was her personal decision. It doesn't sound like she was rude. Was it more frustrating because she is attractive? Should security have escorted her out for sitting out too many songs? Would you care if she was at the bar and not by the floor? But could she see from the bar? Ok, I'm talking too much, but the question remains: Why can't people come just to watch?
  4. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    Ditto! :)
  5. b.b.

    b.b. New Member

    I agree on this. I know plenty of people who come to the clubs just to watch. Some of them get sucked into the dance world, others keep watching. Nothing wrong with that. It's a club - relax, enjoy and let everybody else do the same!
  6. tj

    tj New Member

    Everyone's gotta vent once-in-a-while, and much better to all of us "virtual" friends, rather than bitching at your RL friends.

    S-on-1, I feel for ya, bro. I don't like getting rejected any more than the next guy. Yet... it's important to realize that there will be women out there who don't have any interest in dancing with you.

    Hey, it could be worse. She could've turned you down, and then went and danced with the next guy who asked her 5 seconds later.

    And hey, maybe she was just deathly afraid of dancing with an experienced dancer like you!
  7. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    That was my thought, as well, tj. That would've been a lot worse. For all we know, she may have read one of the at-least-twenty DF threads that say if you turn down one, turn down all. That's actually proper dance etiquette, right? :?
  8. BrookeErin

    BrookeErin New Member

    So if
    is true, why are there those rules that you must turn down everyone if you turn down one or you must accept every invitation? I may need to rest or make a trip to somewhere or someone, but I may not need the entire song. I don't want to be rude and believe that I am very gracious when accepting and refusing, but I do go out for me.
  9. TICA

    TICA New Member

    There's tons of reasons why someone may choose to sit all night.

    For example, some people are perfectly happy sitting with a drink at hand and just listening to the band, or the DJ, because just like some folks are lovers of the dance, some are lovers of the music, the instruments, the artists, the sound.

    Another thing, how could you know what's going on in that girl's head? how do you know that she didn't just come from having a huge fight with her boyfriend? or that she just broke up with someone? or she has a huge problem she was running from?

    Or perhaps she was exhausted... or perhaps she had stained her dress... who knows!.. there could be a million reasons.

    She's no obligated to do anything. If she paid her cover charge, once inside the club she's allowed of move all night or to turn to stone if she rather.
  10. cocodrilo

    cocodrilo New Member

    At the salsa parties I have hosted in the past, there were a lot of people sitting on the sidelines, perfectly content with chatting to their friends, having drinks and just watching the other dancers. A lot of my friends do not dance, period. That is fine with me. They enjoy the party atmosphere and the music, and they are not in anybody's way, so I welcome them to my parties. There are some beginner dancers and even "wallflower" types, who I will drag out onto the dancefloor, and once they're out there, will dance all night. This doesn't work with everyone, however, so I don't mind if people say they just want to watch. (Maybe they are learning something, and will try to dance at the next party!)
  11. I agree, you never know what her reasons could be for not dancing. Best to just accept it and move on. Don't try to take it personal.

    I had an incident happen a few months ago where I was eating dinner at a new restaraunt/lounge (sitting at the bar) and a beautiful younger lady walked up next to me ordering a drink. We exchanged hello's and started talking about dance. She then said that if I'd like to dance that she was sitting with 3 other beautiful women and to stop over. I thanked her and said I'd stop by in awhile. (The dancing hadn't started yet) I went over to their table in about 20 minutes and she introduced me to the other ladies all of which were polite. Then I asked her to dance and she said yes, but all of her girlfriends came with us. I wasn't too keen on this but I danced one song and then waved thanks and left. About 10 minutes later, one of her girlfriends came up to me with this stern look and voice and told me that this was "Her" girlfriend and do I understand?" I just smiled and said Sure Baby. Apparently I made her mistress upset! :lol:
  12. Kindra

    Kindra New Member

    :shock: That's quite a reaction!
  13. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Just goes to show there are all sorts of reasons why a woman might choose not to dance. :roll: :wink:
  14. :lol: Yes. I respect other people's lifestyles, but they do have specific bars for ladies that don't care for men. Sometimes women use this excuse to get rid of a guy too. I think in this case, the woman who asked me back to her table was just wanting to use me to make her Mistress jealous. I just shrugged it off and found it pretty juvenile.
  15. TICA

    TICA New Member

    I know sometimes the prospect of the guy walking over has been so terrible that I have asked a girlfriend to hug me and pretend she loves me :lol:
  16. Yeah, that's definately a tactic that I'm aware of. Younger guys might fall for it. In this case it was a little different, she told me she'd love to dance and to join her and her friends. And then on top of this, I bailed out after the first song on my own free will to let them have their fun. I was then sitting away from them when her girlfriend came up to me about 10 minutes later. I guess dance can bring out all kinds of drama!! :lol:

    Maybe her Mistress was just mad because I was a better dancer than her! You think? :wink:
  17. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    ROTFL! You have a great sense of humor. Maybe that's where the jealousy came from? :roll: Understandable. 8) :)
  18. Who knows for sure. It's part of the price you pay when you dance at a bar with non-dance people. Alot of games and people who really don't care about dance. Sometimes, I like to go out and just freestyle. 8)
  19. TICA

    TICA New Member

    I was just kidding! :D
  20. jon

    jon Member

    They aren't "rules", they're guidelines that tend to reduce social friction. Like many other behaviors we engage in more for the sake of being polite / fulfilling other people's expectations than because we necessarily feel that way.

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