Salsa > Women refusing to dance....*(&!*&!!

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by Salsaonone, Mar 14, 2005.

  1. azzey

    azzey Member

    Re: Sheesh

    I think the first paragraph was, up to the bit about "no means no". The rest looked like fair comment on guys in general in latin clubs, not something directed to *you* and certainly not as an attack. I wouldn't have taken it that way anyway.

    Why do you feel people are attacking you? Surely we are just disagreeing with your way of handling things and suggesting reasons why? That's what this place is about, discussion.

    No, but I do get the "impression" by the statements you make (without humour) that you are someone who over-reacts, both on and off the dance-floor. i.e. here too. This impression may or may not be true, if you would just stop over-reacting then I might get a different impression. :wink: :)


    Like I said above... :doh: :headwall:

    I would say chill out man, but you might take offence again. :wink: That's a joke, in case you didn't take it that way. :cowboy:
     
  2. DancingMommy

    DancingMommy Active Member

    Make your own at Cafepress.com, dude! I just borrowed one of their pics of shirts and photoshopped in the text. BUT I did see a t-shirt in LA that said that... What.... Maybe....13 years ago....
     
  3. DancingMommy

    DancingMommy Active Member

    Or just watch and listen to the band???

    I'm with ya sista! My advice... Wear those nifty hairsticks (chopsticks for hair) that have beads and whatnot on the ends. They come in handy for self-defense. 8)

    The poor guy never saw it coming. Shoulda seen the look on his face.... Priceless....
     
  4. tj

    tj New Member

    It certainly can be taken as "Dogpile on Son1"... but I also think that people are venting about other rude behavior rather than at Son1.
     
  5. new-ish

    new-ish New Member

    It seems to me that the final conclusion to this incident would be:

    Does the woman return and bring her friends because she had a good time?

    Or never returns and tells EVERYBODY to avoid that scene like the plague!

    If it is the first, then play on. If it is the second, then I think you guys have shot yourselves in the ...
     
  6. Merrylegs

    Merrylegs Well-Known Member

    Thanks Azzey! I couldn't have said it better myself!

    Salsaonone, I never called you a sick pervert, please don't start putting words in my mouth. I was relating a story that happened to me. I'm pretty sure you weren't the guy who did that to me seeing that we live on opposite sides of the country.

    And, to be honest, you weren't just venting. According to your story, you were out to get this woman who refused to dance with you. You wanted other guys to "make her dance" and it sounded a like harassment. That's taking things too far. Red flags were wavingand sirens were going off in my head when I read your post. I put myself in her place and was like, "whoah! Where's the club bouncer when you need one?"

    I'm copying your original post:

    "Last night I saw a guy go up to a woman to ask to dance and she said no...then I saw another guy ask her to dance (she is right next to the dance floor) and she says no, So knowing that she will say no, I go up to her and ask her to dance a merengue..."

    "...later on, the same guys (must have known this girl) asked her to dance and she refused...for some reason this pissed me off...so the guys are walking towards me and I tell them that they should go back to her and make her dance or tell her she should leave...hehe....and then the girl comes by and I told her you should dance with these guys, why the hell (edited for screen size) are you here?"

    Dude, that's harsh. And a little weird.

    This woman wasn't involving you in her life at all yet you chose to not only take it personally "for some reasone this pissed me off" but also to make it a personal by intentionally asking her to dance when you had seen her refuse others.

    In my world I don't typically ask guys to dance who I see continually declining invitations. Life's too short.
     
  7. ElSereno

    ElSereno New Member

    Wow how much interest this thread has generated! 9 pages in 2 days!

    Enough has been said in reply to Son1, I have nothing to add there.

    But I am interested in the sidebranch that came up wrt dancing with beginners.

    In a club I go to locally, there is a set of good dancers, who pretty much only seem to dance with each other. Not only will they not dance with beginners, they won't dance with anyone they don't consider "good".

    It seems to me they may have forgotten they were beginners once, and that beginners need good dancers who will dance with them. Matter of fact, we all need to do some of our dancing with people who are better than us.

    Personally I like dancing with beginners some of the time. It's a lot easier to get them to have a good time -- you only need a couple of moves that are a bit better than basic (this could translate as "they are easy to impress :D ) And this does boost your confidence, and having confidence improves your dancing.

    Of course, chances are that right after, you ask someone to dance and she just says "No!" with a disdainful look, and turns away from you... and your confidence deflates like one of those ballons that goes zipping around the room...
     
  8. Kindra

    Kindra New Member

    I think those peeps are there for different reasons than the average social dancer...

    On a side note...
    The "really good" dancers who all stick together and don't dance with others...I generally find the least interesting to watch. Sure they spin great, have flashy steps...etc. But when it comes down to it...they've danced with each other a million times, probably all dance at the same studio or perform/compete in the same group. I'm not all that impressed...personally. (okay...I'm slightly impressed by their individual athleticism) :wink:
    I just think most of them look bored....and I see very little enthusiasm or passion.
     
  9. randomMysh

    randomMysh New Member

    I think a lot of those people come to dances to practice. So it only makes sense they want to dance with each other. It kind of ruins the social atmosphere for the rest of the people there, for which they're rightly considered annoying. However, practice space is expensive...
    I think it's best to leave 'em alone. Once you figure out who they are, of course, which can be an unpleasant process. :?
     
  10. Salsaonone

    Salsaonone New Member

    salsa

    The incident never actually happened.....

    yes it did...


    no, it didnt....


    acutally, yes it did....


    no no no..just kidding....never happened....

    (yes)

    (no!)
     
  11. Kindra

    Kindra New Member

    Hehe!! Son1 is :artsy: one minute...:bandit: the next.
     
  12. aragonh

    aragonh New Member

    Cool. thanx for the info.
     
  13. aragonh

    aragonh New Member

    Does the :artsy: mean he's French??
     
  14. wuthering

    wuthering New Member

    This reminds me of a summer dance camp I've attended (not salsa). There was a group of some 20 teenagers who came probably from the same high school and were part of a dance group. During classes they would change partners only among each other, although it was an unwritten rule that everyone should dance with everyone else. For those who were there to dance with everyone, it took some time to figure out who was part of this group, which meant a waste of time and being unable to practice properly due to waiting for one's turn next to a guy, when he would grab a girl from his ow group instead. :evil: :evil: Eventually we had the teacher separate those who were willing to dance with anyone from those who wanted to stick to their group.
     
  15. Rosa

    Rosa New Member

    Yeah, I see a lot of that, especially in the early part of the night when the floor is relatively clear. As you say, once you get to know who they are you leave 'em alone. Which annoys the heck out of them, cause what they're basically looking for is adulation... :twisted:

    Rosa :)
     
  16. ElSereno

    ElSereno New Member

    No they don't come just to practise, and some of them are part of the crowd that stays till the end. Nor are they from a studio -- there aren't any as such in Bristol. and they aren't jsut being "athletic" -- they do genuinely look like they're having fun!

    It's just that they share a kind of "exclusive" attitude. Like others on here, I'm not in favour of teeling people who they should and shouldn't dance with, but I feel people with this kind of attitude are missing out.

    There's actually a site that deals with this kind of thing -- www.salsamafia.com. Perhaps it's a particularly British phenomenon, as it's also a British site :)
     
  17. Pebbles

    Pebbles New Member

    I think Salsa1 probably read too much into a simple no answer, but then some of the reactions here seem a bit harsh too. Anyone has a right to say no, but at the same time it doesn’t feel good to be on the receiving end of a rejection. Whatever the reason or non-reason for the no, it makes the scene feels a bit less welcoming to the person getting the rejection, usually the beginner guys. If I’m a beginner reading the response from some of the ladies here, I’d be running for the hills and not coming back. If your dancing scene doesn’t have enough guys, or if a lot of beginner guys show up a couple of times then never come back again, maybe this is why?
     
  18. youngsta

    youngsta Active Member

    Seems to be an overgeneralization. I know plenty of people that go there to practice and could care less if anyone is watching. They're there to actually work on something.
     
  19. ares1975

    ares1975 New Member

    Last week was a bad night for me. I didn't want to dance but I went to my favorite salsa club just to listen and watch people dance. Then someone approached me and told me "You used to dance well! Why are you not dancing?" I told her, "It isn't my music." "Oh come on, dance with me!" she said!

    Well, I danced with her and I felt good after that. :)

    But I am really not into forcing people to dance... except friends! Well, the lady was just an acquaintance, but still forcing me to dance works! But I am not saying that you do the same to others. I think it depends on the person you asked for a dance.

    Here in Manila, there are few men who dance. Ladies really have to gather their courage to approach a man for a dance. And so, I do not turn down a lady's request for a dance. On the other hand, men will find it easier to get a dance partner.
     

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