Salsa > Women to Lead, instead of Men

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by ares1975, Mar 30, 2005.

  1. ares1975

    ares1975 New Member

    Is it possible for the woman to lead in dancing salsa, instead of the man?

    I had a dance partner and I find her too hard headed. I end up being the one led on the dance floor.

    I do not have the same problem with my other partners. I tried to bring her to our dance lessons but she always find reasons to get herself excused. During dance parties, I end up avoiding dancing with her. But then sometimes, I couldn't resist especially whenever a woman (like her) approached and ask me for a dance.

    So, what should I do?
  2. Sabor

    Sabor New Member

    do u mean she 'backleads' u when dancing?
  3. tj

    tj New Member

    I think you need to decide whether or not you like dancing with her. If you don't, then stop dancing with her.
  4. jamin1

    jamin1 New Member

    I have had this problem more then a few times. A trick I use for a lady that "backleads" may seem counter intuitive. I soften my lead.

    What's happening is that the more resistance you give her while trying to lead the more resistance she gives back which causes her to anticipate someting else and go springing off in a direction you did not intend.

    Instead try leading her very gently. The softer and subtle your lead the more closely she has to listen.

    Keep it soft, slow things down, make her listen.

    Give that a shot and tell us how it goes :)

  5. gte692h

    gte692h Member

    if you're talking about a girl who basically isn't following you, and wants to do her own thing, (like spin her self), there isn't much you can do. she probably just doesn't want to follow.

    when i dance with certain women who are anticipating my moves, i usually like to play with them : i try little tricks and catch them anticipating me - for example, i will raise my left arm as though i am about to do the ladies underarm turn, but i don't turn her. i just end up doing a couple of basics with her arm raised. i usually get a laugh out of that one, and the women who want to follow understand what i am trying to do. i enjoy doing these sort of things, as it allows for a lot of play on the floor.

    but some women just don't want to be led. so i stay away from them. ;)
  6. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    I will let women lead..i.e dance they style that they like for some of each song. This way I learn a little about dncing different ways and over time get more facile in adapting what I do to suit the temprament of those whom I dance with.

    One trick I like doing is testing followers out on the cbl. I do the first half and then don't do the second half so we don't switch places. If the follow is anticipating then she will try to complete the cbl and discover I didn't want that and am not allowing her.

    jamin's advice about soft leads is definitely on the money. I want the person whom I am dancing with to pay attention to me and the music, and not anything else. However there should also be clarity. That is essential.
  7. gte692h

    gte692h Member

    i've tried that, but i've never really connected a move out of half a crossbody lead (CBL). are there simple moves/options to try once the first half of the CBL has been done ?

  8. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    I just dance at 90 degrees to follower until the next 1st half of basic is done again and then do complete cbl. Or just close up and open again in the next basics a couple times like a door. I just fool around.

  9. africana

    africana New Member

    yeah sagitta is right gte: just keep in a couple of basics after prepping her to cross (but not cross). that way if you haven't pulled her through but she steps in herself then she will clearly be aware that she was backleading (or just plain subconcious anticipation, been there :oops: ).

    If she's independent but sufficiently attentive to you, this will be a great opportunity for her to do footwork styling (can be very sexy for the long-legged ladies ;) ) while waiting for you to decide to complete the move

    In general though, I don't understand why she would be hardheaded about following your lead unless you are not on-time. But then why would she keep asking you to dance? :roll: If I find a guy is too hard to follow (and it's usually because he cannot keep the beat/rhythm) I don't ask him anymore (or I at least stay away from him), so i assume it should be same for you
    I even remember once I had this rough lead pulling me around somewhat off beat, and of course I applied counter-force for self-repservation :lol: anyway I got tired of "fighting" and stopped in the middle of the song. I explained to him that the dance with just too much work for the both of us. he agreed. we quit. amicably

    maybe you need to have a similar "talk" with her if all the other suggestions don't work
  10. gte692h

    gte692h Member

    thnks africana.. your comments reminded me of one of my friends who loves to lurch backwards in anticipation of the crossbody. Now this little trick will get her juices flowing ;) until now, i would do half a crossbody, and then release her and go into shines.. or release and walk sideways as she walked forward with nowhere to go. but now comes a new trick up my sleeve !

    of course, i have to brace myself for being hit on the arms. she always does that when i catch her anticipating ..
  11. ares1975

    ares1975 New Member

    How can I resist such gorgeous woman? Perhaps I should be contented just staring at her! :lol:
  12. ares1975

    ares1975 New Member

    I did just that! I discovered that she would try to "backleads" me when we are in a close embrace position... that means her left hand on my right shoulder, while my right arm behind her back. Normally, it should be easy for me to lead her, moving her forward backward or any sides or whatever move by just gently moving my arms. But she would anticipate either by pulling or pushing my right shoulder or my left hand. I observed that I gain control whenever I do a guapea position, as well as making her move by touching her waist! Other women get offended when I do that! But she just love me sweaping my hands across her belly! whew! But my problem... once she got hold of my shoulder... she began to take control of me!!!! :twisted:
  13. Paou

    Paou New Member

    Or you could open up for a cross body, but on 5,6,7 you can step back in front and turn back to face her. Step back in front of her with your left foot on 5 so you're facing away and on 6 & 7 continue round Anticlockwise to face her again, that way... if she tries to come forwards on 5 you can stop her (gently) with leg or your bum :D
  14. tj

    tj New Member

    Well, if you're just hitting on her because of her looks, then that changes everything, doesn't it?
  15. ares1975

    ares1975 New Member

    Maybe :roll: But I think I'd rather enjoy the dance. I saw her again last night. I end up hiding in a corner. :lol:
  16. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    :lol: :lol: Hard headed and gorgeous. A deadly combination. :wink:

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