General Dance Discussion > Women Who Are Averse to Dancing

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by Phil Owl, May 9, 2011.

  1. Phil Owl

    Phil Owl Well-Known Member

    Strange but true (kind of a companion thread to "Why Don;t Guys Dance?"). I have personally encountered (and even dated a couple) ladies who avoided dancing at all costs.

    Can someone shed any light on why this might happen, outside of the obvious outward insecurities, Are there similarities in these aversions between men and women or are their roots entirely different?

  2. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    not sure this belongs in ballroom and I may move it to general dance...anyhow, aside from insecurity which I think is an even larger issue than is already confessed, not everyone enjoys physical movement...some folks are simply not physical, not musical...not interestedmay be odd to some of us, but really isn't
  3. nucat78

    nucat78 Active Member

    Some might still be of the high school / college mindset that dancing is just a way to pick people up / get picked up.

    And +1 on Facs's comment - I have seen some really (seemingly) uncoordinated women who looked bad dancing, even "penguin" freestyle. Could they improve with lessons? Dunno.
  4. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    Some people just don't want to dance. Much like I don't want to go camping. I'm sure campers think I'm weird for not enjoying their most wonderful hobby. But I'm just fine going through life without camping. I don't need to be offered a free camping lesson. I don't need to see camping on television to get interested. I don't need sleeping bags to be more affordable. I just don't want to camp.
    People that don't want to ballroom dance are all just fine. Just like I'm fine, not camping.
  5. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    this...I mean dh thinks dancing is enjoyable once in a while but his preference as far as fun goes usually involves something that requires no a book, watch a movie, go to a sporting event to watch...he drives around for hours looking for a parking space close to the door....movement isn't his thing...and I know plenty of folks who feel the same way about the is torture for them...
  6. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    lolz.....comfort inn is as rugid as I get :)
  7. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    Yup. THIS.
  8. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    *raises hand frantically*

    (Thinking of Eddie Izzard's "cake or death" sketch: NSFW.)

    Cake or gym? Cake or gym? I'll take the cake.
  9. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    Yep. There are many hobbies/activities that I have no interest in trying. (Team sports, for example, though anyone who'd like to teach me cricket is welcome to try.) I am not possessed of any desire to go white-water rafting. I feel no great compulsion to try Texas Hold 'Em poker. I don't care if it's supposed to be high art, I find operas really, really boring and I don't especially like most classical music, either. Plenty of people love all those things. I don't. I will be perfectly fine without them.
  10. Ray Sison

    Ray Sison New Member

    All men and women have their own personal likes and dislikes, including different aversions. So I completely understand...
  11. rbazsz

    rbazsz New Member

    There are plenty of women that don't want to dance -- I'm married to one of them! :rolleyes:

    Of course there are plenty of reasons and wooh's theory is as good as any.

    Women don't have the social stigmas associated with dancing like men do, so that's probably not a big factor. It's far more socially acceptable for women to dance than for men.

    I'll offer a few more reasons to add the the ones already suggested:

    • They don't like the idea of following a man. The aversion to following men is a problem that I have observed with women who would be considered feminists -- they confuse following with submission.
    • They feel uncomfortable with the level of intimacy involved with dancing.
    • They have insecurities about their appearance.
    • They worry that boyfriends or husbands that don't dance will get jealous.
    • There may be performance anxiety pressures on beginner women because of the widespread myth that dance comes naturally to women.
  12. jennyisdancing

    jennyisdancing Active Member

    Yes, all good points, to which I will add another one: lack of fitness. Very sedentary, out-of-shape women get tired or winded quickly when dancing, so they have trouble actually sustaining their energy for an hour-long lesson. This could be an issue with men, too, but I see it less, maybe because their greater muscular strength helps compensate?
  13. rbazsz

    rbazsz New Member

    In most beginner to intermediate dance lessons the women have the toughest physical parts to do, so fitness could be a major factor. Women might be afraid that after an hour of lessons they won't have anything left.
  14. Spitfire

    Spitfire Well-Known Member

    Just as some people like to play golf, others don't. Some people like to fish, others don't. Dancing is like anything else in that it's not for everyone.
  15. Ecclesiastes3_4

    Ecclesiastes3_4 New Member

    I'll take the cake and then go to the gym! LOL.
  16. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    Exactly! Eat the cake, then you're motivated to work out more! (Or is that just those of us who do guilt motivation?)
  17. rbazsz

    rbazsz New Member

    My wife refuses to go dancing with me and won't take lessons. I have never quite figure out why. Recently I was at a swing dance event and had a conversation with a woman who was surprisingly blunt. They all know I'm married because of my ring. I think that's one of the first things women pay attention to when we offer our hand. This is how it went:

    Her: Where is your wife?

    Me: She won't come to dances so I come by myself.

    Her: You invite her and she doesn't come??? (Puzzled and shocked look on her face)

    Me: Yes, that's right.

    Her: So, she is handing you over to us.

    Me: blushing, and didn't say much

    Her: Do you have children together.

    Me: No.

    Her: Good. Less people will be hurt during the transition.

    Me: It might still work if I keep asking her.

    Her: Sure honey, keep trying.
  18. freeageless

    freeageless Active Member

    Rbazsz, quite a coincidence. My wife refuses to go dancing with me and also won't take any lessons. In addition, we don't have any kids.
  19. rbazsz

    rbazsz New Member

    One other thing -- both of us are struggling on right waltz turns! If we had wives that danced we could probably learn to do it in a few days. Sigh..... :rolleyes:
  20. nucat78

    nucat78 Active Member

    I'll take the cake and you go to the gym. Sometimes I like living vicariously.

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