General Dance Discussion > would you date or marry someone who is not a dancer?

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by yoyao, Sep 10, 2003.

  1. Vince A

    Vince A Active Member

    Great pics TT . . . as always, you look beautiful!

  2. Medira

    Medira New Member

    Congratulations TT! You look just gorgeous.
  3. chachachacat

    chachachacat Well-Known Member

    Congratulations, TT! You look happy!
  4. TemptressToo

    TemptressToo Member

    I'm radiently happy. :)
  5. MacMoto

    MacMoto Active Member

    Many congrats, TT! Great photos! :D
  6. squirrel

    squirrel New Member

    Congrats TT!
  7. Twilight_Elena

    Twilight_Elena Well-Known Member

    Wheeee, happily married couple! Congrats, TT, hope you have many screaming kiddos that dance 24/7! :p :p :wink:

    Twilight Elena
  8. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    I guess the cold feet warmed up...
  9. ArtsySalsera

    ArtsySalsera New Member

    [​IMG][​IMG]Congratulations and all the best to you![​IMG][​IMG]
  10. bren

    bren New Member

    Heck Yes I would. They don't have to be a dancer. Anyways I could teach them myself, and I think that'd be awesome. That's like saying if you the person you loved didn't know how to play golf very well.. would you love them. that's dumb I think.
  11. MacMoto

    MacMoto Active Member

    The problem is, it's not always possible to teach. There are many people who do not enjoy dancing and do not understand the attraction. If you try to teach, they may feel you are forcing them to do something they don't like and resent it. In some cases they can't even come with you and watch because they hate the type of music you dance to and they feel jealous watching you dance with others and have a great time. When dancing is a big part of your life and your SO cannot share it, then you need to work extra hard to make the relationship work. It can work if you have a strong relationship based on mutual understanding and also common interests you can enjoy together outside dance, but it's by no means easy. It's very difficult for non-dancers to understand why you need to devote so much time, money and passion to dance.
  12. Twilight_Elena

    Twilight_Elena Well-Known Member

    First of all, bren, it's anything but dumb. I think you haven't thought this through. If you're a serious dancer, meaning you spend many, many hours, lots of money and lost of attention on dancing, then you can easily have problems with your relationship. It's very common. Many times non-dancers just can't understand why you have to spend so much time on dancing, or so much money. They can feel abandoned or not as important. You can break up because your lover wasn't supportive of your dance needs! It can happen. Not as dumb as it might seem to you.
    I don't know if you dance, bren, but if you do you might have noticed how friends and family and lovers react to your dancing. They might be supportive and understanding or not. Many dancers lose friends and lovers because of dancing. It's in the game. If they can't understand you, it's sadly over.

    Twilight Elena
  13. Sobrero

    Sobrero New Member

    I agree with Elena!!
    The other problem is that many people who do not dance do not understand the closeness of dancing. For example, if you are a non-dancing person and you see your girlfriend/boyfriend dance bachata with another person you will think that she/he has something off the dance floor with that person. Even if you trust her/him and you know that nothing is going on you will probably ger jealous!

    I do not think that you can compare dancing with golf or any other sport because we are not talking about a simple sport or activity but a whole lifestyle of some people!
    :wink: :wink:

    P.S. Do you dance?
  14. Axle16th

    Axle16th New Member

    Hmmm... well, this happened to me lots of times already and I've tried hard to make the relationship work... but unfortunately... well, it just never last. The longest relationship I had with a non-dancer was about 6 months I think, then he said he just couldn't take it anymore.... I mean all that comes out from my mouth is dance and my dance partners and practice and need more money and have to rush and all that so what...LOL, right. So we both agreed to just be friends. He still comes to my shows and we still see each other in the clubs but atleast he doesn't have to worry now.... about who I dance with or how dancers or coming home late and all.
    But I, do, date non-dancers.......I think it's interesting.... not sure about marriage though. (since commitment still scares me....LOL).
  15. scullystwin42

    scullystwin42 Well-Known Member

    I'm married to a non-dancer, and it can be hard sometimes. He does get jealous, but we have a lot of trust. In my opinion, couples need their own thing. he plays computer video games for hours on end, and I don't enjoy that at all - and he wishes i did.

    So we compromise - he's learned basic dance steps and goes dancing, and i play video games with him sometimes. Mostly, though I just watch him and cheer. he likes that too!
  16. DancePoet

    DancePoet Well-Known Member

    I've said congrats previously, and I do hope all goes well.

    When I viewed these photos I couldn't help but notice the "one way" and "yield" signs in the background and somehow I found it cute and funny to have these showing in the wedding shots. ;)
  17. DancePoet

    DancePoet Well-Known Member

    I had things very rough with an SO one time who didn't dance. Not fun at all. Don't want to go through that again. I even have had women alittle ways back who have ruled me out because I dance.

    I won't see a woman for long unless she dances or is interested in dancing because it is a big part of my life, and it can really cause problems if the other person doesn't understand and accept your like for it. I'm sure a dancer could find someone who doesn't dance, and things could workout, but I'm interested in someone who has a similar desire to dance as I do. A relationship is certainly based on much more important values then whether or not a person dances, but finding someone with similar interests can certainly help if a couple needs to fall back on it's commonalities when things sometimes get difficult, too
  18. tsb

    tsb Well-Known Member

  19. tsb

    tsb Well-Known Member

    yes. opposites may attract but it's the commonalities that bind people together. then it becomes a matter of prioritizing those commonalities. as much as i love to dance, other things do come first.
  20. jxntwinkletoes

    jxntwinkletoes New Member

    You sound just like me, also married to non-dancer for 1 year now. We have also compromised, he LOVES golf and racquetball, which I play with him sometimes and he's learned basic dance steps and dances w/ me sometimes. The great thing though is he is supportive of my dancing and doesn't have a problem with me going to dances without him! Now if I can just get him to go for me going to a comp without him. Its just so much cheaper if he doesn't go because I can split hotel expenses w/ other girl dancers. Then I don't have to pay for his passes, etc.

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