General Dance Discussion > would you date or marry someone who is not a dancer?

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by yoyao, Sep 10, 2003.

  1. salsachinita

    salsachinita New Member

    :D thanks, Jenn! :D
  2. Dancegal

    Dancegal Member

    It's getting harder and harder to be interested in non-dancing men - it's like they lack something - hmmm what could that be :shock: :twisted: :lol:
  3. virginiadancegirl

    virginiadancegirl New Member

    I'm a bit on a different side of this...I used to dance basically socially, long before I met my husband (in a different state, no less.) I hadn't danced in 6 years, and my husband doesn't dance. However, recently, I started training to be an instructor, and he is very supportive. He does give me a bit of a hard time about having to babysit our 2 year old more so I can train...and I even think he might be willing to learn some! (He's great to hold onto for form and posture...better than dancing with a broom!!!)

    Had to put my 2-cents in here....

    Thanks for listening!! :lol:
  4. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forums virginiadance. Good luck with your training. :)
  5. yoyao

    yoyao New Member

    gayness? :D
  6. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    Whoa!!! :eek: :shock: Where did that come from?
  7. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Hmm. Not sure how we got here, but since we did, I'll make an observation. The dancing men I know fall primarily into two categories: the gay guys -- a relatively small percentage, probably about representative of the proportion of gay guys in society overall. And then there are the men who LOVE women. And those are the majority. It's pretty cool, actually, because not only do they love women, but through dance, they're being taught to value and showcase the women they dance with. Excellent!
  8. peachexploration

    peachexploration New Member

    Well, my answer would be no on this one. Why? Non-dancers have no passion. I'm only joking. That's not true at all and it was purely coincidental. Okay, I think it's time I sit on the Psycho Analyst couch and see why I attract these types. :wink: :D Joking aside, I must say I prefer someone who dances along with a list of other requirements. :D
  9. Swing Kitten

    Swing Kitten New Member

    I think we're missing the other catagory of thos men who LOVE themselves!! where it's all about them (a minority... but a very annoying minority)
  10. NeoDevin

    NeoDevin New Member

    :shock: But... Isn't everything about me? :D :wink:
  11. danceguy

    danceguy New Member


    *hiss* *snort* *grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*


  12. Swing Kitten

    Swing Kitten New Member

    well I'm glad we finally get to see some true colors!! ;)
  13. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Hey. I have no problem with a man who loves himself, as long as he loves me, too. :lol: 8)
  14. golddancer

    golddancer New Member

    8) OK... I have thought about this and talked about this with non-dancing friends and MY opinion is this: In any relationship a balance is important. I know myself it is important that my lover be interested in dancing and active in dancing because it is a part of me. He doesn't have to be an expert and he can learn and I continue to learn if he is not as experienced as I am.

    It is helpful if he is interested in dancing because if not he would be bored while I dance ....

    It has to be a fun and serious part of our lives because it is important to me. (its not #1 only God is but you get what I mean)

  15. salsachinita

    salsachinita New Member

    A little update, guys.

    My new bf & I have decided to just be friends and hang out instead :cry: .
    (dancing was NOT the issue here though)

    It's a bit of a shame, since I'm kinda getting used to doing the "JLo & Ben Affleck" thing of salsa scene :shock: :oops: :lol: !

    8) Now all you salseros out out :p :lol: ! Salsachinita is back to ask you for a dance :wink: !
  16. danceguy

    danceguy New Member

    Hmm, I've thought about this a bit since in my youth I always avoided dancing, especially on dates with women. I can't recall any of the women I've been romantically involved with that didn't like dance...and I remember specifically trying to find ones who DIDN'T, which was nearly impossible. :oops:

    The funny thing that dance is a big part of my life...I'm wondering about this very question posed on this thread. I'm not that much of a dance addict like some of the folks here (and there's nothing wrong with that!)...but I'm finding very few women my age that are available to begin with, hence the reason for expanding my horizons to new things (like dancing). :p

    Would a potential mate have to be into dancing? Honestly, no. While it is important to have things in common, differences are good too. I've seen way too many people have a huge list of requirements for a compatible partner, and I've been quite shocked to see just how picky some folks are! I totally understand if you are looking for a long term relationship that you want to find someone really special...but the things people get hung up on. Religion, social class, physical apperance, height, stars love is a lot more powerful than all of these things combined! I used to be like this myself...and once I let go of all of my ridiculous "relationship requirements" that I thought were important...I felt like I was finally seeing the world with new eyes...

    I remember once in college years ago there was a group of girls who made a really fancy webpage complete with pictures and a heartfelt story about how they all wanted to find "the perfect guy" and were tired of being single. Well I had a look at the web page in detail...and it became readily apparent why these women didn't have boyfriends after just a quick glance. For starters, they were all quite attractive and one would think they'd have no problem finding a guy. But I just could not believe the things they listed as what "requirements" their prospective boyfriends had to have! One girl wrote something I will never forget...she listed the man's "required characteristics" through ethnic background, employment, his height had to be between 5' 9" and 5' 11" (no more, no less), and several other things. I thought to myself, who wants to meet someone who doesn't have a job in this day and age? That's a given if you ask me...but a specific height??? I've talked to many women about this and it makes for a thread all in itself that I wont get into this day... :?

    I really read that one girls profile again on her little page o' love, and I said hmm, she's obviously not out just for a rich guy, she's smart and educated, but what the heck is wrong with her? I finally wrote her an email saying I unfortunatley wasn't her knight in shining armour as I didn't fit but one of her special standards, but what I did have to offer was advice. I told her that if she stopped looking for "Mr. Perfect" who was carved by the hand of the Zeus...that the right guy was probably right under nose. I never heard back from her, but I think I'll carry that memory of her to my grave.... :|

    There are of course certain physical characteristics that I find very attractive in women, but you know what? Every woman I have fallen in love with fit none or almost none of these. There was something about them as an individual that caught my attention...and in all honesty I think that's the way that God intended it to be! I've made my mistakes and had some pretty bad relationships, but I can only blame myself for that. I've learned a heck of a lot and after finding out what I don't want in a relationship, it has really reinforced what I do want to find. :p

    I have no set ideals or requirements anymore, just a mutual understanding of a kindred spirit...and what really intrigues me is not knowing what this woman would look like. Mystery and the prospect of someone new and exciting, well that is what makes life interesting. :)

    I would love to find a girlfriend who was into dancing so I could share it with her. Maybe I'll find one through dance. Maybe not. Either way, when the time is right, I'll just go with the flow and enjoy what gifts we can bring each other and go from there. :)

    Happy holidays,

  17. golddancer

    golddancer New Member

    I agree with you... I was in love with a guy last year who I normally would never have considered as a love interest. The only requirement that is a must is religous.

    Merry Christmas and Happy NY to everyone
  18. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Happy holidays, golddancer! :D

    Just a note. The other day, not sure why, but I had a heart to heart with my ex. He told me that my dancing destroyed our relationship. Funny, because my perspective was that I started dancing because our relationship was over and my life was empty. No matter. I guess my point is that the dancer/non-dancer issue can be big, certainly bigger than I thought. Love is great, but mutual commitment to support each other in varying interests can be even more important.

    I'm still convinced that I want to be with someone I love, regardless. I'm just going to be very careful when it comes to the dance issue. If I don't have unqualified support for my dance, it's a no-go.
  19. I don't see how religious differences can automatically be dismissed as unimportant. For many people, religious faith and practice takes priority over everything else (at least in principal). It is practically the nature of religion to make high demands on believers (to the extent that the religions remain close to their founders' teachings).

    For two people whose beliefs allow for the possibility of other paths, a religious difference might not matter much. Likewise for two people who are "nominal" believers, who perhaps see religion as something to make society works more smoothly, but not a central focus in itself, religious difference might not matter much. If one partner puts a high priority on religious faith and embraces a religion which makes claims to being the only true way, there can be a big problem.

    (For the record: I am irreligious, and unconvinced by the claims of any religions I've been exposed to.)
  20. Many Christians interpret the Bible as forbidding Christians to marry non-Christians (which I consider a reasonable reading of the relevant passages).

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