Ok, I just had the strangest thing happen to me. I've been waiting for my sister to show up with some stuff and trying to get ready for her when I think my neighbor friend showed up with a dozen roses at my front door. At first I was like who is that, because only a couple people know where I live (besides my neighbors of course lol). I don't even think that my instructors know where I live unless my friends showed them my house. So, I know it wasn't anyone like them. I think not anyways, because I didn't see anyone leave in a car. And this neighbor friend of mine is very handsome with very distinct features that you can see a mile a way which makes him very easy to pick out from a crowd. My x was jealous of him, because I would talk about how he likes to mow our grass etc. lol. And he's the type that he'll mow our grass without his shirt on, so it's kind of like on Desperate Housewives where they watched the cute gardener from the inside of their houses lol? My sisters even gaze at him when they come over when he mows our yard lol. Anyways, I didn't catch him, because I saw him walking across our yard by the time I got to the door. And I know I could have chased him down, but I think that I didn't want to catch him, because I'm still very in love with my x. And I know I shouldn't be thinking that, but we had a very strong relationship. He's the first guy that I can say that I was truly in love with and really wanted to marry. But he was far from romantic, and he would never do such a thing as to bring me flowers to my door lol. So, it's like, why is it that once you meet a nice guy that you don't know what to do with them lol? I feel like I sound like my friend Ashly that always says she dates the jerks, because she doesn't know how to handle the nice guys lol. But I can see where she's coming from because it's like... am I supposed to accept those flowers? Are you sure those were meant for me lol? I even convinced myself that the flowers are probably meant for my mom for Mother's Day even though everyone (including my neighbor friend, because I told him personally) knows she lives in Philly, and if he meant those for her then he could have asked me for her Philly address instead of having me send them to her that type of thing lol. So, what do I do? I mean I'm getting over my x. I haven't talked with him since I started dance in February, but still... I hate to admit this, but I do have feelings for him, you know... I'm still in love with him, even though I do know nothing is ever going to come out of it, because he made all of that very clear to me. So, I have been thinking about dating again, and actually I've made a big step, because now I'm looking at guys as being cute again lol. Oh and I just called up my sister to tell her about this before I finished writing this post, and all she could say is awe lol. And I was like, well... my guess is that my neighbor friend will come back. He knows I'm a dancer, because he came over the night of my show and saw me dressed up lol. So, maybe he thinks I'm at dance or something like what I told my sister lol. Or I could always say that I was visiting my sister that lives in a different county if he were to ever ask me, because my sister and I are very good at that when we need to be lol. She was like, yeah that's true lol. And I told her everything I told you, and she was like yeah everyone knows mom is in Philly lol. All she did was laugh, so she didn't help me any lol. Ugg... what do I do lol?