Would you prefer to partner someone better or worse than you?

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by Terpsichorean Clod, Nov 2, 2009.

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Would you prefer to partner someone better or worse than you?

  1. I am a follower and would prefer a partner who is better than I

    31 vote(s)
    48.4%
  2. I am a follower and would prefer a partner who is worse than I

    3 vote(s)
    4.7%
  3. I am a leader and would prefer a partner who is better than I

    19 vote(s)
    29.7%
  4. I am a leader and would prefer a partner who is worse than I

    11 vote(s)
    17.2%
  1. Terpsichorean Clod

    Terpsichorean Clod Moderator

    A while back, someone posted something like "Everyone wants a partner who is [substantially] better than they are." Do you? :)
  2. drejenpha

    drejenpha Member

    I would prefer someone better than me, but only if they had the right attitude about being better than me.
  3. bjp22tango

    bjp22tango Active Member

    I am both a leader and a follower and I prefer someone who has the same energy level that I have. That goes a long way to evening out any near differences in experience levels.
  4. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    I can't vote b/c I would have put "doesn't matter"...all I care about is that the person has the same level of dedication and no serious impediments toward getting better
  5. Nybz

    Nybz New Member

    Hmm I recently just chose upon a partner and my options included people better and worse than me. Being that I am not great and have a lot to learn I chose a parter "worse" than I. I don't really like that word though because it is more an issue that she just has not had the experience. She learns quick and I love going back to basics to focus on and learn the technique better with her. So thus far I'm quite happy with my "worse" partner. We also have a fair bit in common and get along well.
  6. NonieS

    NonieS Well-Known Member

    Well if my experience in tryouts lately is any indication, no one wants a partner less experienced than them. I have been contacting more experienced guys bc I have prior dance experience and have improved rapidly since I started standard. Many guys don't even respond to my offers for tryouts bc they get scared off that I've only been dancing standard a year and don't think I could ever be "at their level"... :(
  7. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    I would subscribe this, but in reality however it is very often the other way round. There are conflicting decisions: to dance with a beautiful or a young dancer may be associated with high prestige in that community. So everyone will find his own compromise.
  8. Joy In Motion

    Joy In Motion Member

    I enjoy dancing with both groups, because I learn something different from each. Overall I find that it's about the connection and musicality anyway. There are some dancers who are much less skilled, but I enjoy dancing with them more because they are attentive and care about the music and the enjoyment of the dance, not just showing off. Also, someone who knows three to five patterns but executes them smoothly and clearly with good musicality is much more preferrable to someone who can do thirty-seven moves - and insists on stuffing all of them into a dance without regard for the mood and musical characteristics of the song.

    I suppose the ideal for me would be someone around my level (could be a little better than me or not quite as good but pretty close). Typically I find that being better is not a black and white thing. Better at what? There are so many different aspects of the dance (quality of movement, rhythm, style, musicality, connection, creativity, humor, technique, moves, etc.), and the best is when we challenge each other in different ways. I teach him something, and he teaches me something. We each have something equally value but different to offer. I think those are the most enjoyable to me.
  9. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    So you're saying that you should have a partner that's more experienced but they shouldn't expect the same?

    (Note: This is not aimed at Nonie in particular, this is just something I see quite often in reference to partner searches.) There's always an excuse that someone "deserves" a more experienced or "better" partner than themselves. Either the quick learner, or extreme dedication or other types of experience. Why should you expect the sacrifice from a potential partner to dance with a less experienced/capable you, if you aren't willing to make that same sacrifice?
  10. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    Very nicely said. :)
  11. flashdance

    flashdance Active Member

    For a moment there I thought this thread was about marraige proposals :D

    I'm a follower personally and like to be led. Not much use in Salsa as the man is supposed to lead the lady! :lol:
  12. Nybz

    Nybz New Member

    This sentence was a bit confusing to me. For a second I thought you were a Lady and I had been wrong the whole time :D
    thanks for that laugh
  13. dlgodud

    dlgodud Active Member

    Wow! Very interesting result of the poll. Am I ever going to have a partner? lol.
  14. flashdance

    flashdance Active Member

    Reading it back again I'm confused too. It's been one of those days I'm afraid. I best take myself off to bed :idea:
  15. Terpsichorean Clod

    Terpsichorean Clod Moderator

    That's a very strange idea to me. I've certainly met individuals who enjoy dancing on a short-term (social) basis with the more visually appealing. But I don't think I've ever encountered a dance community that considered it prestigious to partner a young or physically attractive partner. :)
  16. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    I'm just trying to find a partner who can deal with my stubbornness, "quirks", arrogance, etc. :)
  17. Terpsichorean Clod

    Terpsichorean Clod Moderator

    I've seen a number of dance partner ads where people say they are fast learners and therefore are looking for a more experienced partner. It doesn't seem to make sense to me. Does that mean their desired partner would be more experienced but a slower learner? And then what would happen when they overtake their partner? To me, it makes more sense to look for a partner who is at the same level, but is also a fast learner.

    I was in a similar situation. We knew one of us was less experienced but a fast learner. Unfortunately, neither of us had really thought far enough ahead to prepare for the needed changes upon reaching parity. It fell apart shortly after.

    BTW, Nonie's ad states a possible willingness to dance with a lower-level partner who has potential to improve. :)
  18. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    Think it is most common in the stylish communities of the bigger cities. Hamburg isnĀ“t free of it, too. Do you remember the thread about dancers that changed for this reason over to the gay tango scene, that used to be clean concerning this kind of prestige.
  19. 3wishes

    3wishes Well-Known Member

    I have experienced both, a lead that was a true beginner although totally enthused and dedicated and a lead that had a wealth of experience although he could not stop lecturing me on the history of the world champions in the last ten years. I find that while experience plays a hand - I also appreciate other sideline life elements of the amat. lead that have a role as to - will I continue with him or not.
  20. dlgodud

    dlgodud Active Member

    One of the most important character that I am looking for. :D

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