Salsa > Would you take your date salsa dancing?

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by clave, Aug 20, 2005.

  1. clave

    clave New Member

    It seemed kinda obvious to me that if two salser@s wanted to go out on a date, the last place they'd go to is a salsa club. But reading the comments on another thread it occurred to me that a certain Mr. X might have taken a Ms. Y out to a salsa club in the expectation of it being a date of sorts, from which all manner of emotional mayhem ensued. Silly naive me! Or was Mr. X the naive one?

    So I ask thee, the enlightened DF community: would you take your romantic interest out on a date salsa dancing? If not early on, how far into the relationship would you consider it?
  2. brujo

    brujo New Member

    It really depends. If we were both salsa dancers and met on the salsa scene, I would take her to a non-salsa place. This way, I get to talk to her and find out if we are interested in each other away from our salsa personas. Perhaps take her to some other interest, or just somewhere completely different from the loud club environment to know her mellow side.

    If she wasn't a salsa dancer, I would take her dancing. Not every date, mind you. But since it is such an important part of my life, I want her to see it and meet the salsero.

    Another thing to be careful about when dating in the salsa scene is gossip. I don't really care about gossip and other people talking about me, but she might, so I would be careful about it. The last thing I would want is for her to be hurt because of my carelessness and lack of communication.

    The problem with the whole "Let's go salsa dancing!" approach to trying to get to date a girl is that it is so ridiculously wimpy. If she likes you, why drag it out longer with pseudodates and garbage like that, get to the point. People are busy, don't waste time. If she doesn't, why do you insist on hanging around her in hopes that one day your persistence will pay off. Move on, there are millions of single women out there waiting for a man that can dance.

    my $.02
  3. tacad

    tacad New Member

    I've taken women out on ballroom dancing dates before. They were very enjoyable. They weren't pseudodates. But salsa? Somehow I doubt it.
  4. Sabor

    Sabor New Member

    yeah.. if she's into salsa i'd take there, no problem.. she can only like me more
  5. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    ME too. Do other things too, as wel, also.
  6. yola

    yola New Member

    i wouldn't (as far as i would be doing the 'taking' :wink: )
    - when it's a salsero, i agree with Brujo: i'd like to go somewhere and see whether i like the person besides the salsaparsona.
    Besides, i go to a club to DANCE, not to date. meaning when going to a club i like to dance with lots of people, not just the one i happen to arrive with. when being on a date i like to focus on the person i am with, getting to know him. not be side tracked by great music etc.
    Of course, the going to dances together will come later... :D

    - when it's not a salsero, he would be bored, coz i would be dancing all the time, and he'd be left on his own.. or if i would stay with him and keep him company i'd be frustrated bc of the tempting music playing....
    Of course later i'd have to introduce him to salsa, as it is such an important part of my life. As he would maybe introduce me to some hobby's of his that i'm not familiar with...
  7. Vin

    Vin New Member

    I may take a salsera salsa dancing but that would be after a series of other "date-like" things.

    Non-Salsera, not on a first date but if it were starting to get serious she would have to learn how.
  8. salsachinita

    salsachinita New Member

    I will say it depends on who your date is, and their personalities...

    I've experienced what Yola said (going salsa dancing with a non-salsa person), and either scare the guy off (by accepting to dance with others) or resist the urge to dance & felt missed out :roll: .......

    Maybe the first date could be something non-salsa related, then introduce non-dancers to your dance buddies gradually, in both dancing and non-dancing context?

    If the date is a fellow dancer from the same scene, then a little (or a lot :wink: ) time away may be healthy. My SO (a fellow not-so-serious salsero) makes me (non-salsa related) offers (to do other fun things) that I simply can't refuse :p .........
  9. latindia

    latindia New Member


    Er, pardon my naivette...but isn't any other thing, for that matter? What is so more or less wimpy about 'Let's go do X (insert your favorite dating activity here)'. I agree, life would be so much easier if we could just all get to the point instead of the whole mess that is the dating ritual. :roll:

    I'd be curious to know how you'd distinguish a 'pseudodate' from a real date. Usually, unless it's a fellow salsera in your 'scene', asking a girl to go out dancing does sound like a date to good as going to a movie or concert or whatever. You'd find out one aspect of your interaction, but that shouldn't dictate your entire relationship, of course.

    Just wondering,
  10. Sabor

    Sabor New Member

    and ..

    if u can't take your date salsa dancing.. no biggy.. u can always take salsa dancing to your date

    dang.. apparently i'm having a genius moment.. wow
  11. latindia

    latindia New Member

    Ok Sabor

    I'll say what you've been waiting for...

    You are a GENIUS!!!

    :notworth: :lol:
  12. Ms_Sunlight

    Ms_Sunlight New Member

    I do take my romantic interest salsa dancing. Or, rather, he takes me -- isn't it the gentleman who takes the lady out?

    Why should there be any more confusion with dancing rather than, say, going to see a film or a concert, or anything else that is commonly done with friends and with lovers? The issue is how you communicate, not where you go.
  13. I wouldn't like to go or be taken to a salsa club on a date. As a destination, the salsa club is fraught with too many problems for people on a date:

    1) The Noise Factor-- It's too loud in there to be able to carry on meaningful conversation. Therefore, it's extremely difficult to get to know anyone better under these circumstances.

    2) The Friends Factor--Chances are you or both of you will run into people you know at the club. You may or may not want other people to know you're on a date in case you "crash & burn" later on. ;) Introductions are also probably going to be tricky--do you introduce your date as a "date"? a "friend"? or just by their name without a label? Your chosen label (or lack thereof) may also make your date uncomfortable. More important than all this, seeing friends all over the club makes it likely that your time with your date will periodically get interrupted when they say hi and chat with you for a little while. That's even less time to get to know your date better!

    3) The "Others" Factor--I think we all agree that the norm in salsa clubs is to dance with different people. If you go to a salsa club on a date, chances are you will both end up dancing with different people throughout the night unless you both expressly agree to dance exclusively with each other. If you end up dancing with other people all night, neither one of you is getting to know the other in any meaningful way. The jealousy factor also comes in since a lot of times, we dance in a way that can be interpreted as flirty--eye contact, smiles, attitude, etc. Will you or your date feel comfortable seeing the other person dancing with someone else in what looks to be a flirtatious way? You both can be aware and tell yourselves that this is no big deal on the salsa scene but sometimes, the anxiety and insecurities that accompanies the first several dates overrides reason.

    4) The "Dancer's High" Factor--If the initial attraction between you two is dance, going to salsa club for a date makes it difficult to determine whether you two have an attraction to each other and have anything else in common off of the dance floor. The euphoria you feel after dancing can be extremely deceptive (probably why so many people become attracted to their instructors) so its best to take that out of the equation on a date.

    5) The Ambiguity Factor--When you ask someone to go salsa dancing on a date, you have to ask yourself whether he/she is saying yes because they're incredibly addicted to dancing and would jump at ANY opportunity to go dancing or whether they truly want to spend time with you. In my humble opinion, you can easily get rid of this ambiguity if you propose a non-salsa dancing date. Chances are if you two met in the salsa scene and you ask her/him out to go to a dinner and a movie, a "yes" would be a clear indication of romantic interest. Personally, unless the man asks me out to dinner beforehand, I will assume that going to a salsa club is a platonic excursion. I must agree with Brujo who said a salsa date is "ridiculously wimpy." :lol:

    Just my thoughts! :)
  14. kdogg

    kdogg New Member

    That's exactly what I've to say. Hey, we must be twins that got separated or something :wink: .
  15. Gussie

    Gussie New Member

    Or more to the point, if you're on a date and she or he is boring hell out of you you could take them salsa dancing for the rest of the evening and not have to listen to their squeaky laugh / witless talking / droning voice anymore cause you'd be so busy dancing with everyone else.. *hide*
  16. Ms_Sunlight

    Ms_Sunlight New Member

    HAHAHAHAHAHA! Nice one Gussie! (Welcome to DF by the way.)
  17. latindia

    latindia New Member

    :notworth: :notworth: :notworth: :notworth:
  18. tacad

    tacad New Member

  19. leaf

    leaf New Member

    hahahahaha! I did that before!!! *ashamed*

    personally, I wouldnt bring a date to salsa because he will be left out the whole nite once I start dancing. The salsa community is too tightly knitted, I wouldn't attempt dating a salareo.
  20. brujo

    brujo New Member

    Plan B:

    Oh, you know what, I got to wake up early in the morning, it was nice meeting you. -> head to salsa club alone...

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