1. Your co-worker has 8 bodypiercings and none of them are visible. 2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house. 3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people having a conversation in English. 4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a pierced nose, and is named Flower. 5. You can't remember...is pot illegal? 6. You've been to a baby shower that has 2 mothers and a sperm donor. 7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian. 8. You can't remember...is pot illegal? 9. A really great parking spot can totally move you to tears. 10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S. 11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30am at Starbuck's wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses that looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney! 12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment. 13. You can't remember...is pot illegal? 14. It's barely sprinkling rain outside and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH". 15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells and pagers. 16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all weather-related acidents. 17. Hey!!! Is pot illegal???? 18. Both you AND your dog have therapists. 19. The Terminator is your governor. 20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you are here illegally, they want to give you one.