Anyone married to or dating someone that does not like to dance?

#41
Since we are on the subject (er, or to be more accurate, since we are off it!!) is it better to have a partner to whom one is NOT emotionally attached? I suppose there is a thread that has dealt with this before but no harm in revisiting. There are really two separate issues (at least):

1. Is it more practical so that relationship issues do not interefere with dance partnership ones - or vice versa that relationship issues help overcome practicalities of dancing together; and

2. Do we dance better with a non-involved partner (by that I mean nothing goin' on relationship wise, not necessarily emotionally - I see one could easily get into deep water here!). After all, dance is many things including stylised romance (etc ;) ) so some emotional link seems essential.
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#43
Since we are on the subject (er, or to be more accurate, since we are off it!!) is it better to have a partner to whom one is NOT emotionally attached? I suppose there is a thread that has dealt with this before but no harm in revisiting. There are really two separate issues (at least):

1. Is it more practical so that relationship issues do not interefere with dance partnership ones - or vice versa that relationship issues help overcome practicalities of dancing together; and

2. Do we dance better with a non-involved partner (by that I mean nothing goin' on relationship wise, not necessarily emotionally - I see one could easily get into deep water here!). After all, dance is many things including stylised romance (etc ;) ) so some emotional link seems essential.
we have some threads on this FWIW...an interesting Q...lots of nuances and sometimes things change:rolleyes:
 
#44
by not emotionally attached, you mean no romantic involvement between the two?
Yes, it was a bit ambigious wasn't it. English seems a bit tricky in this area. I think you put it better: where you dance together but leave for separate destinations! I suppose there are partnerships where its all just practical but how can one spend hours in someone's arms moving to beautiful music without anything happening? Come to think of it, I have seen partnerships like that - each person running through their routine as if oblivious of the human in their arms (or at the end thereof, as in latin).
 
#45
I think it depends on both of you and what you want out of dancing.
If it is just a pleasant interest to you then I'd say accepting whatever he does or doesn't want to do would probably be the best option. If he was willing to come along with you once or twice and gets the bug, that would be great, but it might not happen. I also don't think you have to share all your interests.

However, I have had this challenge and I agree with Laura in how this can affect your relationship. My competitive dancing was detrimental to my marriage and as a result I've given up the dancing. Again, my husband would say that it was totally fine but when I looked at what was happening and how we were growing apart it was apparent that it was not fine. I still love dancing and haven't ruled out some sort of involvement, but at the moment the kind of commitment that competitive dancing with an amateur partner involves is out.
I definitely agree with elegance and Laura. If dancing is a casual interest or if you're dancing pro-am, it's workable. Competitive dancing with an amateur partner can be really, really tough on relationships in which one party doesn't dance.

When I first started ballroom, my then boyfriend had no interest in dancing but also had no problem with my pursuing it. As my interest grew, and I gained a partner and started competing, the problems began. He was a lovely person and tried very hard to be supportive of my dancing, but the situation became increasingly stressful and precipitated the demise of our relationship.

In the end, he felt sad, unhappy, and jealous that he wasn't part of something (dancing) that greatly interested me and made me happy but that others, namely my dance partner, were. (My boyfriend and I tried dancing together, but he never really enjoyed it. I think he did it to please me, which was sweet but ended up being counterproductive, since he came to resent it.) It was tough for him to see me go to practices and competitions with my dance partner, and he felt threatened by him despite my reassurances. After a while, I couldn't talk to him about anything dance related - the tension and stress were too much. I don't blame him. If I were in his position, I'm sure it'd be incredibly hard for me as well.

For myself personally, at this point, I would not date a non-dancer or someone with no dance interest. If I did, I think I'd have to be prepared to give up ballroom to a large extent or instead dance pro-am, which I imagine might be less stressful on a relationship... Every relationship is, of course, different, but just my experience...
 
#46
For myself personally, at this point, I would not date a non-dancer or someone with no dance interest. If I did, I think I'd have to be prepared to give up ballroom to a large extent or instead dance pro-am, which I imagine might be less stressful on a relationship... Every relationship is, of course, different, but just my experience...
I'm not as involved with dancing as some other folks here (i.e. I don't compete) but I have to agree. Just seems to me that if either partner has an interest which is highly time-consuming and the other person doesn't share it, there's bound to be some tension, whether it's dancing, sports, or anything else.

Of course, partner dancing as a hobby adds a whole other dimension because it's an activity that requires you to have constant physical contact with the opposite sex. Even the most patient s/o could start feeling jealous, couldn't they?

If nothing else, isn't it good to have shared interests with your significant other? I think it's the sweetest thing to see a longtime couple on a dance floor together. They hold each other with a warmth, ease, comfort and familiarity that is uniquely romantic.
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#47
For myself personally, at this point, I would not date a non-dancer or someone with no dance interest. If I did, I think I'd have to be prepared to give up ballroom to a large extent or instead dance pro-am, which I imagine might be less stressful on a relationship... Every relationship is, of course, different, but just my experience...
this is the really relevant point IMO...all relationships are different....I can tell you that I spend more hours a week w/ my pro than most am.s spend with their partners....and it is often very stressful...so, it just varies....
 

danceronice

Well-Known Member
#48
is it better to have a partner to whom one is NOT emotionally attached? I

1. Is it more practical so that relationship issues do not interefere with dance partnership ones -

2. Do we dance better with a non-involved partner (by that I mean nothing goin' on relationship wise, not necessarily emotionally - I see one could easily get into deep water here!). After all, dance is many things including stylised romance (etc ;) ) so some emotional link seems essential.
Yes.

1. Yes

2. Yes.

YMMV, but overall--yeah, walk away at the end of the day. On the one hand, I can't see dating a non-dancer simply because they wouldn't get it--but being involved with them AND competing with them and therefore practicing with them on a daily basis? Uh-uh. That would just be bad.
 
#49
Oh my god, this brings up my problem! i cant dance never danced and ya..*** -.- and teh last dance ive been to was in 6th grade, where we played TAG because it was dark.. and now i just got into a relationship with someone, shes probably went to all the dances, and like one of teh last few she asked em to go..sorta not really. and we're going to be juniors now! prom homecoming all that should start to get important rite? :p but i dunno hwo to dance and shes probably pretty good at taht kinda stuff... and since shes my gf, id probably go to the dances with her rite? :banana: booya. but i dont know how to dance! :evil: Argahatharth i`ll be ok with her dancing with other guys, but since this is HS .. shell probably wanan grind or wahtever the hell and ive read all the threads, even the 50 paged one fenix started, and tehn the ones from the dancing index thing... and...imm basically at where i started lol this is lame... and as you can see my name says MMA not dance! :(
 
#50
Oh my god, this brings up my problem! i cant dance never danced and ya..*** -.- and teh last dance ive been to was in 6th grade, where we played TAG because it was dark.. and now i just got into a relationship with someone, shes probably went to all the dances, and like one of teh last few she asked em to go..sorta not really. and we're going to be juniors now! prom homecoming all that should start to get important rite? :p but i dunno hwo to dance and shes probably pretty good at taht kinda stuff... and since shes my gf, id probably go to the dances with her rite? :banana: booya. but i dont know how to dance! :evil: Argahatharth m,otha fkera i`ll be ok with her dancing with other guys, but since this is HS .. shell probably wanan grind or wahtever the hell fooooooook.... and ive read all the threads, even the 50 paged one fenix started, and tehn the ones from the dancing index thing... and...imm basically at where i started lol this is lame... and as you can see my name says MMA not dance! :(

If you have a few dollars and a little time before your dance, you might want to check out this DVD:

http://www.amazon.com/Nightclub-Dan...910?ie=UTF8&n=130&s=dvd&qid=1180655271&sr=1-2

I haven't seen it, but it sounds like it would help. It's for club dancing, so you might have to tone down some of the moves to pass your high school chaperones.

Have fun!
 
#53
A good guy that you click with is worth way more than an 'ok' guy that dances. Take it from me... dance breaks up more marriages and relationships than it makes. It is so ridiculously EASY to get frustrated with a loved one that you dance with. I honestly believe the reason for my success as an instructor is because I'm a good marriage counselor too...

But in all my years, the rarity is a guy that doesn't dance, but also doesn't mind when you dance with others. THAT is a huge GEM of a man!!!

Stick with him!!!

(ps- I, by the way, married another dance instructor... we have a fantastic marriage... but dancing together for us is more like 'working,' than it is 'enjoying each other.' But that, of course, is because we teach...)
 
#56
I think me and my firends will come up with some whacky dance moves for the dances like from the movie grind and the cha cha slide, that way we can be losers that dont know how to dance but ppl will atleast be laughing with us. lol

btw i dont know how long ill linger here.. because majority of this forum is partner dance, needless to say dancing.. but if there were more random threads like this!
 

Laura

New Member
#57
Hey, go random! Start a new thread about making up your moves or where you get your moves from, and maybe people will join in. Not everyone here partner dances all the time.
 

Beto

Active Member
#59
lol... what does that mean, anyway...????
The term's been around, I think, since at least the early 90's.

I looked it up on Urban Dictionary and the best definition given (by user voting)

1.booya

It means basically, "bam!", "in your face", and "hell yeah", all at the same time. A term that self congradulates the user, describes excitement, lets others know the magnificence of the celebration or rouse as well as the superiority of the user, and is used as an exclamation of those ideas.
When you play a particular trick on someone or beat someone at a game, or prove your superiority to others

"How you like them apples!" "Booya!"
 

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