Been Diss'ed?


Active Member
I hear ya, jan, but not where I live. Where I live, making eye contact with a stranger is not done. Period. And as more and more people live in big cities,I suspect that there may be more people with a similar day to day experience.
Where do you live? Finland? I've heard that making eye contact is avoided there. If you don't make eye contact, you don't get to meet people of the opposite sex, get acquainted and eventually get married. It's no wonder the birth rate is low in Finland.

LOL! Wandering around London or somewhere like San Francisco or even beunos aires in my experience making eye contact with men on the street does not end happily. Nothing like having something vile shouted at you or being followed down the road. Perhaps I'm stunningly beautiful or maybe I look like a working girl, but funnily enough a lot of women who are neither get the same treatment. In fact that might be one of the reasons cabeceo is not the primary medium in many countries. Women are so used to avoiding the gaze of strange men, cabeceo goes against a woman's instinct for self protection.
After 18 years in Buenos Aires, I'm used to making eye contact and greeting people in all kinds of situations: getting on an elevator, entering the waiting room at a doctor's office, checking out at the grocery store, walking past the local restaurant, seeing a neighbor on the street. This is a friendly city. I've never gotten any inappropriate comments on the street, only a soft "que elegante" from men walking by.

If one wants to dance in the milongas of Buenos Aires, the cabeceo is the best way. Verbal invitations don't come from good dancers.

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