Being "unsexy"

FancyFeet

Well-Known Member
#1
I came across this article today (while I was hard at work, of course), loved it, and immediately thought that I needed to share it with DF.

http://bemorewithless.com/unsexy/

I'm decidedly unsexy every day, and would love to hear how you are!

My list for today, so far:
- I thought about putting on eyeliner and lipstick this morning, but decided that was just way too much work.
- I had a whole conversation with my cat.
- I had a little dance party in the elevator to the music playing in my head.
... more to come, I'm sure!
 

Steve Pastor

Moderator
Staff member
#2
Me? Unsexy?

Do you want to learn a new language, but think you will sound silly practicing?
There's a fairly long list...
Yes, I'll sound silly.
Do you want to try something new and different but are afraid people will think you can’t stick with anything.
Do you want to try a ballet class even though people might think you are too old to start?
Does Balboa count?


Being unsexy means that you …
can laugh at yourself
ask for help and know that admitting weakness is a sign of strength
can stop trying to prove your worth
 
#3
Sexy comes from within and is not something that can be turned off. Either you are or you are not. Has nothing to do with makeup or the clothes you wear.
All these things are very sexy! Its called confidence, and it is extremely sexy!
  • can laugh at yourself
  • will try things that people tell you are impossible
  • will try things that you think are impossible
  • ask for help and know that admitting weakness is a sign of strength
  • will care less about what people think
  • understand that you are fully responsible for the highs and lows
  • can stop trying to prove your worth
 

IndyLady

Well-Known Member
#4
comment on article said:
I think it becomes easier to ignore what people think as you get older. At least it has for me. It started when I turned 30 and has gotten easier each and every year…
This pretty much sums it up. Including the specified age threshold.

I do find it interesting that the term "sexy" has evolved to mean something beyond "enticing enough to want to have sex with". This article wasn't what I expected based on the title... :)
 

Bailamosdance

Well-Known Member
#5
Sexy comes from within and is not something that can be turned off. Either you are or you are not. Has nothing to do with makeup or the clothes you wear.
All these things are very sexy! Its called confidence, and it is extremely sexy!
  • can laugh at yourself
  • will try things that people tell you are impossible
  • will try things that you think are impossible
  • ask for help and know that admitting weakness is a sign of strength
  • will care less about what people think
  • understand that you are fully responsible for the highs and lows
  • can stop trying to prove your worth
In dance, as in life, 'sexy' can be taught, learned, and even turned on and off at will. The outward expression, like in dancing, is made up of the current trends in beauty and desireability.
 
#6
In dance, as in life, 'sexy' can be taught, learned, and even turned on and off at will. The outward expression, like in dancing, is made up of the current trends in beauty and desireability.
I disagree. It is so obvious when a woman is deliberately trying to be sexy. And this action then becomes quite the opposite. You can learn sexy steps but "being" sexy is a different thing. Some people are and some are not.
 

IndyLady

Well-Known Member
#8
It is so obvious when a woman is deliberately trying to be sexy.
True, but that is because you are also a woman. We're good at spotting this stuff. Alas, the intended audience does not always have such a discerning eye.

And I think we've gotten sidetracked by the literal definition of "sexy"... which has been co-opted by this article to mean "not concerned with what others think". I know plenty of people who fit the latter definition, but are not sexy per the original definition of that word. Except perhaps to their significant others.
 

FancyFeet

Well-Known Member
#9
Exactly. What I loved about the article, and what resonated with me, was the idea that it's about owning it - about doing what makes you happy, and about embracing your (uncool or odd) quirks... because they are what make you sexy. It's not about holding yourself to some pre-defined set of standards of appearance and behaviour... it's just about being you, and being comfortable enough in your own skin to be like "here I am".
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#16
as for the previously shared criteria...I would also probably qualify the "doesn't care what others think" attribute by saying that I find that certainly persons who are paralyzed by what others think of them are un-sexy...but, likewise, people who claim to not care at all and are obnoxious about it can also be repugnant :)
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#17
I am sure there were men and women who didn't find her appealling at various times in her life, which also goes to whether one always has it and can't lose it....that she was a national sex symbol doesn't mean that all found her attractive....someone could have found her so obnoxious as a person to have not found her sexy...we can't possibly know
 

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