Crush on Instructor...

Wow, I never knew this was quite common. So I actually ended up taking private lessons to impress this girl I liked. Things never worked out. When she basically went away, I started to develop feelings for my instructor. While I'm glad my instructor could help me, I knew it was wrong. As I got out of my funk from the other girl, my feelings started to dissipate for the instructor and it appears as if she could sense my sadness and was playing to my emotions. I think she realized that I was taking it too seriously too. Now we are back to "normal" and just joke around a lot while she teaches me. There's no point in me taking dance lessons anymore since there is no wedding to go to (for the girl I liked) and I'm just doing it for fun now.

We do give each other small gifts (like a lollipop or something or whatever stuff we get for free), but it's more of a joke than anything and we've developed a friendship, which I think is good.

I don't think there is anything wrong with falling for anybody, you meet people in strange places, but at the same time, always proceed with caution, especially if you are paying them.
 
Umm...okay..so I have a problem again. I've kept doing lessons with the same instructor and we are doing some more intimate moves. I lost my crush for a while, but now it came back. In any other scenario, this would definitely be considered flirting, but I know it's not because it's part of her job. How do I get rid of these feelings? Is this natural to have this up and down feeling with your instructor? ugh.
 

MaggieMoves

Well-Known Member
Ballroom/Latin dancing by its very nature is intimate. You need to be able to differentiate the dance from the relationship off the floor.

You could just ask her out for a cup of coffee. She says no? Relationship stays in the studio.

I doubt your instructor would want to flirt with anti frat rules... But over the years I've had a few instructors that did.
 

RiseNFall

Well-Known Member
I personally would not ask her out for coffee. YMMV, but the vast majority of the time, it does not work out well. My personal recommendation is to cut down on the flirtation from your side even though it is fun. She will most likely follow suit.
 
I personally would not ask her out for coffee. YMMV, but the vast majority of the time, it does not work out well. My personal recommendation is to cut down on the flirtation from your side even though it is fun. She will most likely follow suit.
Oh, I don't flirt with her (at least not that I know of). I just act like I normally do to anyone else, making jokes, insulting her a bit (in a joking manner) etc. I treat all my friends this way. So I don't think I'm flirting at all tbh. And like Maggie says, the Latin/Ballroom dancing is intimate by it's very nature so it's hard not to be semi-romantic when she tells you to run my arms through her hair or down her body for better lead/finish...and I don't really want to have these feelings either...ugh.
 

RiseNFall

Well-Known Member
Well...fewer jokes, less insulting, and regard the rest like an actor in a movie. Or, if you need to, lie and say you aren't comfortable with some of it at the moment.

You know yourself, however, and if you think it will blow over quickly, don't worry about it. Or go find somebody to date. ;)
 
Well...fewer jokes, less insulting, and regard the rest like an actor in a movie. Or, if you need to, lie and say you aren't comfortable with some of it at the moment.

You know yourself, however, and if you think it will blow over quickly, don't worry about it. Or go find somebody to date. ;)
I think that would be worse tbh. She'll start asking "what's wrong?!" and get all concerned lol. I hope it blows over quickly.
 

Loki

Well-Known Member
Let's qualify that, DW. Get a dating life that doesn't involve your dance teacher. You can date other students, although that has potential pitfalls of its own.
 
Let's qualify that, DW. Get a dating life that doesn't involve your dance teacher. You can date other students, although that has potential pitfalls of its own.
A bit off-kilter, but I can't date in the studio/or other students, I can't date at work, I can't date friends, no wonder everyone does online dating lol.

@Newdancer81 , try to steer it in a brother/sister style relationship. Steer the conversation away from flirting when it comes to that.
I will try but it's rare that a brother or sister get that close to you face to face except for a 2 second hug as opposed to a 2-3 minute dance. Anyways, I think I'm just venting hahaha.
 

stash

Well-Known Member
Like Loki said, you can date in the studio's network of students, but in such a close knit group of people, things can get a bit heated... But no one is stopping you. It is a more stable relationship to begin with than dating an instructor though that's for sure.
 

twnkltoz

Well-Known Member
Yep, that's exactly why I did online dating, and it worked out very well for me! I agree with the idea of thinking of her as your sister and find someone to date outside of the studio. Keep telling yourself what a bad idea dating her would be, and eventually you won't think of her that way anymore.
 

MaggieMoves

Well-Known Member
I will try but it's rare that a brother or sister get that close to you face to face except for a 2 second hug as opposed to a 2-3 minute dance. Anyways, I think I'm just venting hahaha.
Eh I've had to share a bed with my brother, especially when we were younger and on a vacation. So think of it like that.
 

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