Crush on Instructor...

if I were to have met my teacher under any other circumstances, I very well may not have been attracted to them at all.
That is so true. People who can teach me something interesting have always given me a little thrill; it's as if the excitement of learning the subject bleeds over onto the individual who is teaching it. I have always had crushes on my teachers - no dance teachers yet though, probably because dancing is not what I would call my life's passion. It's irrespective of gender as well; I've had crushes on teachers of both genders.
 
That was meant to be tongue-in-cheek...I don't think any of my pals in the dance community would ever guess my real age because I'm fighting it kicking and screaming, every inch of the way...bring on the Botox and the surgery and whatever else it takes!

Like the Toby Keith song, "I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was!"

And another C&Ws song, "I'm old enough to know better but still too young to care."

No wonder I like country music so much!

:)
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
I knew you were kidding...but I've gotta say, I don't plan on doing any of that extra enhancement...to each his/her own, but I want full credit for whatever is still halfway decent on me...and man, I could buy a gown for the cost of just one er...enhancement
 
Funny you should say that, because I was just thinking that a person could actually get her hips and thighs liposuctioned for the cost of a gown!!! And the liposuction will last a lot longer and make everything you wear look better.

We're all different and that's what makes the world go round...when I was your age (gosh, I can't believe I'm actually using that phrase!) I probably would have sprung for the gown, too.
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
woman, I am 41....that said, I doubt I will change my mind...have always been a gym rat and kinda proud of it....I like to do things the hard way...still, as I have said before I am the only woman there whose assets are getting smaller...and yea, folks are free to spend their money as they see fit
 
I'm a gym girl, too, but I promise, there will come a day when things will mysteriously shift around despite your best efforts...and it seemed to happen to me overnight...very weird.

I was still smokin' hot at 41, and I'm sure you are as well...it just takes SO much more work when you are on the other side of 50...unbelievably more.

Ain't no big deal, though...I'm healthy as a horse, have a great career, husband, friends, and of course, dancing...life is very, very good!

And I don't look half-bad for 50+.

:)
 

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
I'm a gym girl, too, but I promise, there will come a day when things will mysteriously shift around despite your best efforts...and it seemed to happen to me overnight...very weird.

I was still smokin' hot at 41, and I'm sure you are as well...it just takes SO much more work when you are on the other side of 50...unbelievably more.

Ain't no big deal, though...I'm healthy as a horse, have a great career, husband, friends, and of course, dancing...life is very, very good!

And I don't look half-bad for 50+.

:)



You go, girl !!! I have no earthly idea what happens at 50. All I know is that, when it happens, I want to have your attitude!! :D :D
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
ditto, there...and while not smokin hot...I am proud enough to just ba able to say that I am doggone fit...I'll never know but I reckon that smokin hot is over rated unless everything else is in order...but yea...your attitude over 50 is a good goal, still not goin under a knife though
 
One advice...

No matter whatever happens, don't fall for your instructor!

I have yet to see a case that has been successful. This situation always ends up in a disaster for both the instructor and the student, with plenty of emotions and broken hearts.

Like someone else pointed out, it's always best to dance am/am. Just treat your instructor as an instructor.

I've found the best way to get over the initial "falling for" syndrome is to get out and dance at as many ballroom parties/events that are organized by local dance studios. That gives you a perspective and you get to meet a number of other amateurs whom you may connect with and eventually fall for. Additionally, it is always a good idea to try out different instructors. I especially respect instructors who have been in the profession for a longer duration, have competed professionally and have solid work ethics.

An instructor with solid integrity and ethics will maintain a decorum. Unfortunately, there are some instructors who are new to the profession and who have yet to develop solid work ethics especially in terms of not making their students feel like they are in love. My personal advice - avoid any instructor who makes you feel like you are in love with him or her. No matter how difficult it may sound - it is best to maintain a professional relationship with your instructor.

Lastly, all the above comes from my own personal experiences where I've seen both sides of the spectrum and in the process gotten hurt and lost a lot of money before I realized that the "falling for" was actually taking me away from my primary goal - learning how to dance!

Hope this helps
 
You rock'n little rock

I'm a gym girl, too, but I promise, there will come a day when things will mysteriously shift around despite your best efforts...and it seemed to happen to me overnight...very weird.

I was still smokin' hot at 41, and I'm sure you are as well...it just takes SO much more work when you are on the other side of 50...unbelievably more.

Ain't no big deal, though...I'm healthy as a horse, have a great career, husband, friends, and of course, dancing...life is very, very good!

And I don't look half-bad for 50+.

:)
Once you get to 50 you see the next decade galloping towards you. We're not over the hill, just on top with the best views. Listening to a 3 min dance song, the song lasts 3 mins, but dancing to the same song it is over almost as soon as it started. If time is passing so quickly, is it becasue we are dancing so much? Some guy called Einstein had some ideas about the relativity of time didn't he? I can't post my blog yet but look at my views on dancing at www dot dancetours dot blog dot com You keep rocking on girl. You are just a youngster yet.
 

tt

New Member
I am a newbie in dancing, only started dancing half a year ago. Recently I came to a different city for work training and decided to take some private lessons here after work. However, I found myself having a crush on my instrutor...I think about him all the time and visit the studio he works in (almost daily) hoping to bump into him. I tried to practise as much as I can on my own so that I won't disappoint him in the next lesson.

Given the short amount of time we have spent together, I doubt if he has similar feeling for me.

I haven't felt this way for anyone for a very long time. Every time I liked someone, I never had the courage to confess to them/ask them out.

Has anyone had similar experiences? What shall I do? Shall I hold back my feelings and just carry on having lessons with him? Shall I stop taking classes from him altogether? Or maybe I should tell him how I feel?

I searched on the forum, and it seems that many people have had crushes on their teacher/partner. So maybe my instrutor has had so many female students falling for him in the past that he will think it is just the same old story again? I don't want to make a fool of myself or annoy him. But I also feel that I should be brave enough to confess my feeling, at least for once...
 

latingal

Well-Known Member
Welcome to DF tt!

This topic is always a tough one, and one that is quite common it seems.

In my opinion, you're right - many instructors have to deal with students with crushes on them. I think that you would know if the person in question returned the feelings. In most cases I think instructors let it lie and hope it will pass as long as it doesn't get out of hand. If you bring it to the fore by speaking about it, you do risk losing the opportunity to take with the instructor if it makes him uncomfortable. So many times it comes down to what you value more, the dancing and the relationship as it is or perhaps the unlikely chance that something might be there.

Many times I have seen the advice to just relax and enjoy (something I think that comes easier as we experience more in life). If the feelings are unrequited, many times if left to time, the relationship settles down in to something less passionate (for lack of a better word) but many times as enjoyable (without the angst).
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
if the feelings do not diminish and begin to disrupt the dynamic, leaving or telling are the only ways to handle the issue...staying with strong unrelenting feelings is just a hell that needs to come to a sooner rather than later end as the longer you stay the deeper the attachment...if they are able to diminish, you are blessed...good luck with that...and welcome to df
 

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