Crushing on Salsa Instructor

#21
Thank you all again for your replies & sage advice. My mindset has definitely changed for the better, thanks Phooey

I plan on purely enjoying the dancing for what it is & leaving it at that. I was jist curious about what AT was! Lol

Ps. I have asked the moderators if its possible for the OP to delete threads in case of indulging in one's feelings and regretting it later on, but no reply yet..
Would anyone here happen to know how to delete a thread? Thank you!
 

tangotime

Well-Known Member
#24
Argentine Tango is the best dance in the world, but don't ask your Salsa instructor to teach it to you - that's like asking your dentist to fix your car (or worse, asking your mechanic to give you a root canal).

That's an assumption . I, among others I'm sure, have had training in that style/discipline . However, I do get your point about the vast majority of salsa " teachers ?".
 
#25
Argentine Tango is the best dance in the world, but don't ask your Salsa instructor to teach it to you - that's like asking your dentist to fix your car (or worse, asking your mechanic to give you a root canal).
I think he might actually know how to tango! But definitely wont be requesting a demo.. I guess it depends on how long one has danced for? I would imagine over many years you would have the chance to be exposed to many types of dance
 
#27
I think he might actually know how to tango! But definitely wont be requesting a demo.. I guess it depends on how long one has danced for? I would imagine over many years you would have the chance to be exposed to many types of dance
The way I interpret your remarks is that you don't really know if your instructor is into you..and you do seem to be interested in him...and you would like to find out how interested he really is thus your posting on this forum.
Correct me if I'm wrong on this..

Given that you think he may know tango, ask him 'innocent' questions.. Like ' I heard tango is a great dance, do you recommend I try it' etc..he will undoubtedly say yes as it's a new customer for his employer if nothing else and then that leads into your hands of 'gee that's great, it would be good if you can teach me' type of answers...if he agrees...well the rest is upto both of you ;)...if he says no but recommends another teacher, then you know he is really not that interested. The point here is that if he really is interested, he will capitalise on any opening to advance the agenda..open the door for him and see his response.
It really doesn't have to be tango..could be another dance...I just suggested tango because that's probably the most intimate of Latin dances. Also because feelings are more deep in tango..the intimacy makes feelings more easily known (I'm trying to help you here...need to join the dots :)))
 
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Loki

Well-Known Member
#28
It takes newbs some time to learn a dance is just a dance.

Just like a kiss is just a kiss. A former teacher once kissed me goodbye full out on the lips. I did not propose to her even after that.

TIAIHTS.
 

Bailamosdance

Well-Known Member
#29
The way I interpret your remarks is that you don't really know if your instructor is into you..and you do seem to be interested in him...and you would like to find out how interested he really is thus your posting on this forum.
Correct me if I'm wrong on this..

Given that you think he may know tango, ask him 'innocent' questions.. Like ' I heard tango is a great dance, do you recommend I try it' etc..he will undoubtedly say yes as it's a new customer for his employer if nothing else and then that leads into your hands of 'gee that's great, it would be good if you can teach me' type of answers...if he agrees...well the rest is upto both of you ;)...if he says no but recommends another teacher, then you know he is really not that interested. The point here is that if he really is interested, he will capitalise on any opening to advance the agenda..open the door for him and see his response.
It really doesn't have to be tango..could be another dance...I just suggested tango because that's probably the most intimate of Latin dances. Also because feelings are more deep in tango..the intimacy makes feelings more easily known (I'm trying to help you here...need to join the dots :)))
Asking your instructor questions about another dance shows nothing about his personal interest in you. And asking leading questions rather than simply going up to him and asking if he is really interested in you (or simply asking him out on a date) simply entangles you into the business/personal thing - and his choice of teaching you some dance other than what he has been teaching you provides no indication of interest.

Teachers who use dance instruction in that way are called 'predators".

And students who are not forthright in their needs or reactions are students to be avoided.

Tango is like any other dance - and does not imply or express any 'relationship' clues; calling a dance 'sexy' simply from its outward expression is testimony how the dancers look, not how they feel. Choreography is not emotional expression.
 

twnkltoz

Well-Known Member
#30
The way I interpret your remarks is that you don't really know if your instructor is into you..and you do seem to be interested in him...and you would like to find out how interested he really is thus your posting on this forum.
Correct me if I'm wrong on this..

Given that you think he may know tango, ask him 'innocent' questions.. Like ' I heard tango is a great dance, do you recommend I try it' etc..he will undoubtedly say yes as it's a new customer for his employer if nothing else and then that leads into your hands of 'gee that's great, it would be good if you can teach me' type of answers...if he agrees...well the rest is upto both of you ;)...if he says no but recommends another teacher, then you know he is really not that interested. The point here is that if he really is interested, he will capitalise on any opening to advance the agenda..open the door for him and see his response.
It really doesn't have to be tango..could be another dance...I just suggested tango because that's probably the most intimate of Latin dances. Also because feelings are more deep in tango..the intimacy makes feelings more easily known (I'm trying to help you here...need to join the dots :)))
This makes no sense at all.
 

snapdancer

Well-Known Member
#36
I believe that this is a valid teaching technique, he probably recognized that you didn't realize you were flailing your arms about like a chicken being chased by a fox. Probably he didn't tie you up tight enough that you couldn't have escaped by yourself -- it's not bondage.
 
#37
I believe that this is a valid teaching technique, he probably recognized that you didn't realize you were flailing your arms about like a chicken being chased by a fox. Probably he didn't tie you up tight enough that you couldn't have escaped by yourself -- it's not bondage.
All correct, not to say I didn't still enjoy it a little ;)
 

DL

Well-Known Member
#38
I believe that this is a valid teaching technique, he probably recognized that you didn't realize you were flailing your arms about like a chicken being chased by a fox. Probably he didn't tie you up tight enough that you couldn't have escaped by yourself -- it's not bondage.
I have never heard of this, but even supposing licit intent I am similarly dubious as to its validity as for the shoulder harness that is sometimes used to "teach" standard dancers how to maintain a good frame. In particular I don't see how it helps the student to become more aware, nor to train the muscles to place arms where the external apparatus places them.

Anyway, without posting a paragraph I wrote then thought better of, I'll just say that I think it is important to be clear, with one's self, on one's own goals, and on whether one's focus is well-aligned with those goals.
 
#39
I agree with the majority of the posts here. Dance instructors are naturally more friendly and will cross barriers that most of society deems "inappropriate". This is their way of teaching. I asked a similar question a year ago and was basically told the same thing. So I just basically think of dance as a performance outside reality. That's it.

Now here's the funny thing. Since my instructor told me she is leaving in a month, she's been trying to teach technique in even more flirty ways than before (ie she was focusing on body movement and placed her leg on my body when she could have easily just used her arms). Also, regarding Tango, she wanted me to try it for some strange reason. I tried and sucked (this was 5 minutes).

Also, now she gave me her personal phone #, so I'm not sure what that means.

All these threads always give me hope, but in the back of my head, I know it's not reality.
 

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