Dance session or friend's wedding?

#1
Ok, so next 2 weeks from now, one of my not-so-close friend has a wedding which coincides with my dance session. Should I tell her I've something on? Or just bear with missing one dance session and endure the temporary withdrawal symptoms for 1 day?

We're not that close, haven't been in contact for years, now she sends me an invitation.
 

snapdancer

Well-Known Member
#2
"You know you're addicted to ballroom dancing when ...." o_O

That's something you'll have to figure out for yourself. I think there's a clue in the last sentence. Methinks your dancing that day will not be on a postage-sized floor after watching the couple of honor struggle through their routine.
 

bia

Well-Known Member
#3
An invitation is an invitation, not an obligation. Sure, if you were a close friend or family member, she would have reason to think you'd want to be there, so if you declined, she might feel hurt and go on to reevaluate how close you really are. But from someone not so close, your declining (as long as it's not last minute) mostly just means a smaller catering bill for her. And with invitations sent out only two weeks ahead, she's got to expect a good number of people to already have commitments. So go if you think you'd enjoy it, and not if not. And send a nice card, and preferably a small-to-moderate gift (not truly an obligation either, but a way to communicate that you wish them well, assuming that you do). And assuming that everyone is reasonable, everything is good.

Of course, if she's unreasonable, she might take offense at your not leaping at the chance to celebrate her day. If you're unreasonable, you might take offense at the lateness of the invitation and interpret it as a gift grab. But since you're already not close, those reactions aren't going to change anything, so I'd say they're not worth the emotional energy.
 

twnkltoz

Well-Known Member
#4
If you're not that close and it doesn't mean that much to you to participate in her major life event, then don't go. If you think later you'll regret not being there, it's worth missing one dance session, is it not?

When I got married, I accidentally scheduled it during the super bowl. We actually had people decline so they could go to super bowl parties instead. That hurt.
 

anntennis

Active Member
#5
If you asking this question on this forum, you do not want to go at all. So don’t.

Usually close friends and family members weddings’ are priorities over dancing, since they do not happened two often (even if it is a second or third marriage) and important events in their lifes. If you have wedding over dance concern and vs. versa, than that person hardly a friend and you do not care if you never hear from her again if you decline her wedding invitation.
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#6
missing a dance lesson is no big deal....that being said, this person must be an even smaller deal if you don't know the answer....seems like it is no big deal either way...but realize that if you do wish to create a better relationship, not going won't be the way to show it and you should examine your priorities if you wish to deepen the relationship
 
#7
Hi guys (and girls), yup, after reading all these input given from a different perspective, I realize you guys are right.

I didn't really want to go, although if it's a friend or close friend, then yes. Heck, we're more like long-time-never-seen-you-acquittance than friends! The last time we saw each other, I bid her farewell and she was rude enough to ignore it and walk off, now this. I think this is more of a gift grab opportunity. Have seen similar cases before.

Over here where I live, when you're getting married and you invite people, you get real cash (not gifts) on your wedding day to offset the wedding costs. So the more guests you've, the more profit you make.

Tks! Now I can go dancing on Sunday! :D
LDD
 

MaggieMoves

Well-Known Member
#8
Show off your skills at the wedding. Have a good time. At least you're a guy, so you can more easily lead a girl that doesn't know what she's doing on the dance floor.

Depends on who else is going, and the type of crowd that will be there though would ultimately make my mind up on whether to attend or not with a "friend" like this.
 

Loki

Well-Known Member
#9
I have no problem declining event invitations if I'm not close to the people involved. No need to say why you can't attend, simply send regrets.
 

Joe

Well-Known Member
#10
If you got invited only 2 weeks before the wedding (and it wasn't a shotgun wedding), that means you're on the B team, i.e. someone else declined and you were invited to fill the spot. Feel free to accept or decline with no guilt--the acquaintance will simply issue an invitation to someone on the C team next week.
 
#11
^ Makes perfect sense! Never thought of that before. It's true. I mean, hell, the wedding is on 25 Jan and it's 12 Jan tonight (turning 13 Jan in 45 mins time) and there's still no sign of the invitation card by post yet, only verbally (well, she asked for my address a few days ago).

So, fudge yes, I'm not going to respond to the invite and am not going to tell her beforehand I'm not coming. I'm gonna camp at the studio on that day and maybe try a piloxing class as well :D
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#13
that is a point ...at least if there is a reception involved....that being said, if she didn't put a head count in by two weeks before the wedding it probably isn't a big deal...as joe said....
 

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