Dating, Love...and Salsa

Vin

New Member
#61
aragonh said:
Vin said:
Not to be argumentative but women give out there phone number pretty easily if they think you are a good guy, even if they are not interested.

Inviting a girl out is a much better indicator. I know I started that line of discussion but I do know that much.
I agree with you on this. But a prerequisite before asking a girl out is to get her number.
Is it really? If I am really interested in someone then I just skip the number part and just go for the date. I then get the number as an afterthought.
 
#62
Vin said:
Is it really? If I am really interested in someone then I just skip the number part and just go for the date. I then get the number as an afterthought.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I should be taking notes from you!!

I get the digits b/c i dont want to rush into a date.
Patience, Daniel Son, Patience.
 

Sagitta

Well-Known Member
#63
Vin said:
aragonh said:
Vin said:
Not to be argumentative but women give out there phone number pretty easily if they think you are a good guy, even if they are not interested.

Inviting a girl out is a much better indicator. I know I started that line of discussion but I do know that much.
I agree with you on this. But a prerequisite before asking a girl out is to get her number.
Is it really? If I am really interested in someone then I just skip the number part and just go for the date. I then get the number as an afterthought.
Ditto!! Tomorrow you may be run over by a car and never had that chance.
 
#65
brujo said:
georgettestovall said:
This has been an interesting topic for me to read... I have been married about 18 months. I used to dance salsa (on1) years ago, but never took formal lessons. About a month ago I happened to take a club lesson (on2) and my passion for the dance just took off. Now I take lessons 2-3 nights a week, group and private, and try to fit in as much social dancing as I can. Unfortunately, my husband is not interested in learning to dance (and he doesn't have much rhythm anyway.) He is graciously tolerating my obsession, but I try to schedule my dancing for nights that he works, plus Friday night which is when my instructor does a club lesson and then there's social dancing. I take group lessons Wednesday and Thursday nights, and I have a private lesson Sunday night. That leaves Monday, Tuesday and Saturday for my husband, and he's usually working Wed/Thurs. It's a difficult balancing act, the struggle between "me" and "we"... and I'm sure if we were just dating we'd end up breaking up (I say he tolerates it graciously but maybe I'm overstating a bit.) But... since we're already married... he doesn't have much choice.

I'd be interested in hearing from other dancers in the same situation-- started the salsa addiction *after* marriage, but your spouse is utterly uninterested in salsa.

G
For better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.

Damn addicts...

:lol: Funny stuff...
 
#66
Kindra said:
squirrel said:
So now I have a dancing BF and everything's solved!
What is a typical night out at the salsa club like for you and the BF?? Do you dance mostly with other people, mostly with each other? Do you find yourself "keeping track" of him throughout the evening??
:) We usually go out together, except for the nights when I have my aikido training and I join my friends a little later...

No we don't dance only together, I would be too bored and same goes for him! We mostly (like 50-60%) dance together. But we both enjoy dancing with others... We have some special songs we always dance together...Even if we were dancing with someone else and that special song comes, we just say "sorry this is reserved to my SO, gonna dance with you later"... and I make sure I go back and ask them to dance!

I do keep track of him, and him of me, but this is mostly to make sure we're all right (had a friend who fainted in the toilet once, and it wasn't nice). Also, we mingle... for example he dissapeared for 1/2 an hour last night... he was somewhere in the back talking to a friend... I went to look for him after about 15-20 min, as I wanted to dance a song with him... of course, as they were sitting at a table, I didn't see them... I went back to our table and he finally appeared... I didn't mind, he explained where he was and that was it! :)

I used to be jealous when he danced with other girls (especially those who make a pass at him)... not any more! Why would I be? He's just dancing with them! ANd if he wanted something else, my jealousy wouldn't stop it, right?
 
#67
Hi, georgettestovall, you sound guilty about the fact that you've taken up a new hobby. I think guilt might make the situation worse.

My husband is utterly uninterested in whatever dance I've done so far, but that's fine, because we have plenty of other hobbies/interests together. When we started dating, he had to acknowledge this passion of mine from the very beginning. This is different from your situation, because you've taken up dancing after your wedding, but everyone changes during his/her life.
 
#69
Well, it took me some time to accept it... I am the jealous type... :)

I warned him anyway that if he does anything, he'd better make sure I wouldn't find out... :) And I am pretty good at finding out! ;)

What I don't know doesn't hurt me... but what I do find out will most definitely hurt him!
 

MacMoto

Active Member
#70
I don't mind my SO dancing with other girls at all -- after all, I love dancing with lots of different guys, and it's easier to do so when he's also dancing with other women. He is much more selective about who he dances with than I am though, so there are often times when I dance and he watches. He says he likes watching me dance... I hope he genuinely means it.
 

Sagitta

Well-Known Member
#71
MacMoto said:
I don't mind my SO dancing with other girls at all -- after all, I love dancing with lots of different guys, and it's easier to do so when he's also dancing with other women. He is much more selective about who he dances with than I am though, so there are often times when I dance and he watches. He says he likes watching me dance... I hope he genuinely means it.
I hope so too. Especially if you dance the way I do. :oops: :)
 
#72
How would you feel if your significant other was heavily into strip clubs and visited strippers every other night, spending large amounts of income on these things?

It must feel this way to many of the husbands and boyfriends out there. Your wife or girlfriend goes out to these bars where she dances with many unknown men that are there to make her feel special and maybe want something more. You almost never see her anymore. She spends this inordinate amount of cash on lessons. If you don't see the appeal of dancing, you must either be real forgiving or really angry.

My $.02.
 
#77
MacMoto said:
I don't mind my SO dancing with other girls at all -- after all, I love dancing with lots of different guys, and it's easier to do so when he's also dancing with other women. He is much more selective about who he dances with than I am though, so there are often times when I dance and he watches. He says he likes watching me dance... I hope he genuinely means it.
Indeed........I feel EXACTLY the same and you've said it all for me (as usual), sista 8) !
 

MacMoto

Active Member
#79
salsachinita said:
MacMoto said:
I don't mind my SO dancing with other girls at all -- after all, I love dancing with lots of different guys, and it's easier to do so when he's also dancing with other women. He is much more selective about who he dances with than I am though, so there are often times when I dance and he watches. He says he likes watching me dance... I hope he genuinely means it.
Indeed........I feel EXACTLY the same and you've said it all for me (as usual), sista 8) !
Looks like we are doing the parallel thing again! :wink:
 
#80
I don't quite see the problem with dating someone in the salsa scene.

Since I started dancing about 2 years ago, I've dated both inside and outside of the scene, depending on where I found the girls who pleased me.

It's actually easyer dating inside the scene. You already share the passion for dancing, you're used to dancing with loads of different people during the night, I so you expect your partner to do the same.

Gossip will pretty much e an issue wherever you place yourself, and I never noticed it to be more intense in the salsa world. After you pass mid20's groups tend to be more or less formed up, and evolve much slower then used to do, so in any given group people know each other and WILL gossip. It's a fact of life.

Sals being sensual dance, one tht promotes contact within the dancers, why would it make sens to be one that excluded love or sex. Both are parts of everyday life (or should be).

As for the jealousy part, if you date someone that's goodlooking, she (or he), will be the object of desire of someone else. Everytime! Inside or outside of salsa. So the way I see it, there re only two choises, either you build up some self trust, and believe there's a reason why your partner is with you instead of with someone else, (and then people making a move, trying to charm her won't be somuch of a problem because she'll just send them away), or you can try to date the worst looking person you can find, hoping that she's just so boring/ugly/uninteresting that noone else will go for her.

Your choice... ;)
 

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