Explain to me this newfangled dating process!

DancePoet

Well-Known Member
fascination said:
DancePoet said:
fascination said:
DancePoet said:
Why would anyone put up with this stuff in the first stage if they are truelly interested in creating a conciously loving long term relationship?
are you serious?you would punt someone for having a tendency to forget to call? and snoring geez, short of breathe right nasal strips what' s a guy to do..plus my husband didnt start snoring until a decade in....and (tongue in cheek) if women are supposed to screen for a guy who remembers to call there are gonna be ALOT of single women out there :lol:
Yes, not returning phone calls, which is what I believe was being referred to in the story presented at the beginning, is disrespectful. If the person doesn't choose to improve themself on something like this, this is not a good sign, and I look for a relationship where respect is plentifull, too.

Snoring is not a "habit", but it can be a health issue. ;)
Well if you can point me to a dozen guys who return phone calls I would be amazed and need to check for their Y chromosome...they may be out there but I have never met them
I return phone calls. ;)

If you keep looking, you'll find one. Don't settle! 8)
 

DancePoet

Well-Known Member
chandra said:
I have a comment on annoying habits:

IMO, to echo what pygmalion said, its all relative. There have been people (1 person in general- a friend) Whom I loved so much. He was one of my greates friends, and I only wanted to be better friends with him. HE had a whole bunch of "personality traits" that annoyed the heck out of alot of people. I just thought they were sweet. Now, a year later, I have gotten out of touch with him. He moved, I moved on. Talking to him now, the things I used to love annoy me.

So how can you know, at the start of a relationship, which habit will annoy you in the long run? There may be things that we love now, that will bother us eventually. I dont think screening for "bad" habits is overly useful because of that. I prefer the "take it as it comes" school of life.
One way to know which habits will annoy you is by knowing yourself first. And if you are grounded in things like knowing and analyzing your own feelings, being truthful to yourself and others, and upholding your commitments this can really set the foundation for yourself being prepared for a healthy long term relationship. And if you can respect yourself and can identify when others are not respecting you nor themselves, then you can put yourself in a situation where you can find a guy or a gal that you will be at least less annoyed with in the long run. "Taking it as it comes" is a sure way of settling for something less then what you deserve and can find. ;)

However, there are SOME habits I would screen for. Drug addiction, or alcohol abuse, violence, mental sanity. Things that could hurt me in the long run. I dont know if I would fall for someone with these traits (obviously being 16 my dating experience is extremely limited) but, if I did, I would have to "screen".
Ah! See, so you do screen afterall, and it seems wisely. 8)

I recommend screening for someone who respects themself and you as well. :D
 

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
chandra said:
I have a comment on annoying habits:

IMO, to echo what pygmalion said, its all relative. There have been people (1 person in general- a friend) Whom I loved so much. He was one of my greates friends, and I only wanted to be better friends with him. HE had a whole bunch of "personality traits" that annoyed the heck out of alot of people. I just thought they were sweet. Now, a year later, I have gotten out of touch with him. He moved, I moved on. Talking to him now, the things I used to love annoy me.
Funny how that happens, isn't it? :? 8)
 
Ayuh!

DP: The point I was trying ot make was not about physical habits, like cleaning, etc. But about personality habits. Things like a tendency towards teasing etc. (I cant think of any good examples) Things that it depends on your state of mind whether or not they are endearing or obnoxious. I cant explain it very well, so Im going ot give up trying.
 
chandra said:
I have a comment on annoying habits:

So how can you know, at the start of a relationship, which habit will annoy you in the long run? There may be things that we love now, that will bother us eventually. I dont think screening for "bad" habits is overly useful because of that. I prefer the "take it as it comes" school of life.

However, there are SOME habits I would screen for. Drug addiction, or alcohol abuse, violence, mental sanity. Things that could hurt me in the long run. I dont know if I would fall for someone with these traits (obviouils being 16 my dating experience is extremely limited) but, if I did, I would have to "screen".
There are bad habits and there are things a lot worse than bad habits. Things like drug addiction or alcohol abuse are not just bad habits and stay far away from guys like that. Run as fast as you can the opposite direction.
 

DancePoet

Well-Known Member
chandra said:
Ayuh!

DP: The point I was trying ot make was not about physical habits, like cleaning, etc. But about personality habits. Things like a tendency towards teasing etc. (I cant think of any good examples) Things that it depends on your state of mind whether or not they are endearing or obnoxious. I cant explain it very well, so Im going ot give up trying.
Even how a person is viewed through their personal habits can tell you something about whether or not they respect themselves. And if they don't, they aren't likely to respect you either. ;)
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
DancePoet said:
chandra said:
Ayuh!

DP: The point I was trying ot make was not about physical habits, like cleaning, etc. But about personality habits. Things like a tendency towards teasing etc. (I cant think of any good examples) Things that it depends on your state of mind whether or not they are endearing or obnoxious. I cant explain it very well, so Im going ot give up trying.
Even how a person is viewed through their personal habits can tell you something about whether or not they respect themselves. And if they don't, they aren't likely to respect you either. ;)
EXCELLENT POINT...DP...you keep this up and we will have to start a "we love DP thread".....
 

DancePoet

Well-Known Member
fascination said:
DancePoet said:
chandra said:
Ayuh!

DP: The point I was trying ot make was not about physical habits, like cleaning, etc. But about personality habits. Things like a tendency towards teasing etc. (I cant think of any good examples) Things that it depends on your state of mind whether or not they are endearing or obnoxious. I cant explain it very well, so Im going ot give up trying.
Even how a person is viewed through their personal habits can tell you something about whether or not they respect themselves. And if they don't, they aren't likely to respect you either. ;)
EXCELLENT POINT...DP...you keep this up and we will have to start a "we love DP thread".....
:shock: No ... please ... spare me. :roll:
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
DancePoet said:
fascination said:
DancePoet said:
chandra said:
Ayuh!

DP: The point I was trying ot make was not about physical habits, like cleaning, etc. But about personality habits. Things like a tendency towards teasing etc. (I cant think of any good examples) Things that it depends on your state of mind whether or not they are endearing or obnoxious. I cant explain it very well, so Im going ot give up trying.
Even how a person is viewed through their personal habits can tell you something about whether or not they respect themselves. And if they don't, they aren't likely to respect you either. ;)
EXCELLENT POINT...DP...you keep this up and we will have to start a "we love DP thread".....
:shock: No ... please ... spare me. :roll:
well, since you sound truly pathetic...I will spare you
 

DancePoet

Well-Known Member
fascination said:
DancePoet said:
fascination said:
DancePoet said:
chandra said:
Ayuh!

DP: The point I was trying ot make was not about physical habits, like cleaning, etc. But about personality habits. Things like a tendency towards teasing etc. (I cant think of any good examples) Things that it depends on your state of mind whether or not they are endearing or obnoxious. I cant explain it very well, so Im going ot give up trying.
Even how a person is viewed through their personal habits can tell you something about whether or not they respect themselves. And if they don't, they aren't likely to respect you either. ;)
EXCELLENT POINT...DP...you keep this up and we will have to start a "we love DP thread".....
:shock: No ... please ... spare me. :roll:
well, since you sound truly pathetic...I will spare you
I'm not sure whether I should be happy that you are or disappointed by the characterization. Perhaps it is alittle of both. Oh well. *shrug*
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
DancePoet said:
fascination said:
DancePoet said:
fascination said:
DancePoet said:
chandra said:
Ayuh!

DP: The point I was trying ot make was not about physical habits, like cleaning, etc. But about personality habits. Things like a tendency towards teasing etc. (I cant think of any good examples) Things that it depends on your state of mind whether or not they are endearing or obnoxious. I cant explain it very well, so Im going ot give up trying.
Even how a person is viewed through their personal habits can tell you something about whether or not they respect themselves. And if they don't, they aren't likely to respect you either. ;)
EXCELLENT POINT...DP...you keep this up and we will have to start a "we love DP thread".....
:shock: No ... please ... spare me. :roll:
well, since you sound truly pathetic...I will spare you
I'm not sure whether I should be happy that you are or disappointed by the characterization. Perhaps it is alittle of both. Oh well. *shrug*
I only meant pathetically pleading that I not start a thread...not pathetic in general....
 

DancePoet

Well-Known Member
fascination said:
DancePoet said:
fascination said:
DancePoet said:
fascination said:
DancePoet said:
chandra said:
Ayuh!

DP: The point I was trying ot make was not about physical habits, like cleaning, etc. But about personality habits. Things like a tendency towards teasing etc. (I cant think of any good examples) Things that it depends on your state of mind whether or not they are endearing or obnoxious. I cant explain it very well, so Im going ot give up trying.
Even how a person is viewed through their personal habits can tell you something about whether or not they respect themselves. And if they don't, they aren't likely to respect you either. ;)
EXCELLENT POINT...DP...you keep this up and we will have to start a "we love DP thread".....
:shock: No ... please ... spare me. :roll:
well, since you sound truly pathetic...I will spare you
I'm not sure whether I should be happy that you are or disappointed by the characterization. Perhaps it is alittle of both. Oh well. *shrug*
I only meant pathetically pleading that I not start a thread...not pathetic in general....
Ah! Ok, thank you. :D
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
DancePoet said:
fascination said:
DancePoet said:
fascination said:
DancePoet said:
fascination said:
DancePoet said:
chandra said:
Ayuh!

DP: The point I was trying ot make was not about physical habits, like cleaning, etc. But about personality habits. Things like a tendency towards teasing etc. (I cant think of any good examples) Things that it depends on your state of mind whether or not they are endearing or obnoxious. I cant explain it very well, so Im going ot give up trying.
Even how a person is viewed through their personal habits can tell you something about whether or not they respect themselves. And if they don't, they aren't likely to respect you either. ;)
EXCELLENT POINT...DP...you keep this up and we will have to start a "we love DP thread".....
:shock: No ... please ... spare me. :roll:
well, since you sound truly pathetic...I will spare you
I'm not sure whether I should be happy that you are or disappointed by the characterization. Perhaps it is alittle of both. Oh well. *shrug*
I only meant pathetically pleading that I not start a thread...not pathetic in general....
Ah! Ok, thank you. :D
actually I am still waiting for you to volunteer to solve my needing to learn AT problem :wink: 8)
 

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