Well, I'm in a bit of a forced hiatus right now - travel, DW mildly ill, family this and that. Can't say as I like it, but I am getting some wall framing done in my basement. Fire up that chopsaw! And I still review syllabus figures while riding the train.
okay,I made up my mind today to stop torturing myself. One year ago my life changed when I became really passionate with dancing; my deepest fear? To stop loving dance. To stop having a passion.
Today I thought to myself I am putting too much pressure on me, and what for? Who said that I am obliged to be passionate for dance? What if dance stopped being my passion in the short span of a year? What if I don't love dance? What if I hate dance, then what? Should I hate myself for not loving dance anymore? Who said I had to love dance? Who said I am not free to not to love dance in the first place? What if it was just a fling, why is that so bad? What if it was not love? So, what? Is my whole life a waste if my love for dance was a short fling? Why be such a perfectionist? Why should my love for dance be an obligation? Where is my joy then? There is no joy when you ask too many things from yourself and put yourself under so much stress for something that is not feasible under the current circumstances.Let it be. Time will show. If this joy was shortlived, so be it. So, what if you don't have this joy in your life anymore? So, what?
this is the most interesting thread on DF at the moment, and for a long while.
I am reading Adam Philip's book; 'Missing Out; In praise of the unlived life." It's heavy going (intellectually, and he cites too much Shakespeare to make me convinced of its relevance.) but thought provoking nonetheless, this and Chomsky's post above are very salient....
is (social) dance an escape? It feels like that to me.
"George Edward Woodberry wrote of poets: " Emotion is the condition of their existence; passion is the element of their being" (8).And the turbulent lives of high profile musicians and artists such as Charles Mingus, Georgia O'Keefe, Jackson Pollack, and Sylvia Plath also seem to testify to a link between creativity and psychic instability. But can a connection between mental disorder and enhanced creativity be identified by the methods of science? Is there really a connection, and if so how does it work? "
yes, this is what I'm now evolving into. I guess I am changing. No pain and suffering anymore. Passion can still be passion even without them. And if it's not passion anymore, then so be it; so be it. And if it's not devouring then let it not be. No point in fearing your shadow.
Ultimately it is your attitude that counts, I believe. Take the glass half full and glass half empty saying. What about just being thankful that you have a glass and there is something in it? Something about living in the present with dance?
Fear is a tough animal, though, I must say. And a persistent one at that.
That's just plain old anxiety. I feel that all the time, but I've learned to ignore it most of the time. However, there are some things about the way my life has evolved (or devolved) over the last three or four years that I've recently decided have pissed me off. Enough so that I'm now taking steps to do something about them. However, it's not a process that gets completed in one day, or week, or month, or year. For a while there I was having to go along for the ride. Now I'm taking the wheel back.
Accept yourself rather then trying to positively talk yourself out of your fears. It works better in competitions.
A Powerful Sport Psychology Strategy is Self-Acceptance.
You overcome your stuff by accepting and bypassing it by concentrating on the job on hand focus on physical experiences rather than mental occupation.
Tremendous relief comes from self-acceptance, because you do not having to pretend, cover up, or suppress your fears about competing.
You enjoy an inner relaxation. To say it bluntly we are all screwed up just depends which kind and how much.