Finding Partners at Milongas

#62
So, you're calling the people who dance at Sunderland snobs? Sure, that's why they keep the basketball hoops installed. That adds to that sophisticated snob cachet.
I don't talk about a dancer who is familiar with a place, I talk about a person who doesn't know anybody and who wants to find partners.
If there is a choice of milongas, he/she should avoid snobby places and visit better ones.

There are other signs of a better milonga: it's held on Friday or Saturday attracting more people, it has a bigger dance floor...
 

sixela

Well-Known Member
#63
I still think your posts are very "me, me, me!".

You seem to define a "snobby place" as any place where you personally don't get to dance. And you keep trying to tell others which milongas are "better" even though, frankly, you don't understand a thing that makes the milongas work for its patrons. You also seem to think you're entitled to get easy dances (otherwise the milonga is "not as good").

Frankly, with that attitude, you will find many places unwelcoming, and my advice to others is simply not to emulate you (and as a result, my personal invitation to members to contact me for tips for local milongas over here does not extend to you).

In Rome, do as the Romans, rather than try to complain about the fact that Rome isn't whatever city you come from. Not only in tango, mind you.
 
#64
Here in Germany many people do not use mirada/cabeceo and I got not entitled to force someone to use that - In Rome, do as the Romans.
I would apply two or three well thought direct invitations upfront so that I have been seen in the ronda.
But I'm a bit dronish and most milongas are short of leaders, so it is more a follower problem to find suited partners.

Or a problem of the own tango capabilities or the local conventions, of course.
In doubt I prefer to enter accompanied by a desirable follower so that the evening is not at risk. :cool:
 

sixela

Well-Known Member
#65
Yes. Sometimes you and a milonga don't gel, and then it's best to try to seek out another one (which you can call better suited to your current needs, but I find it horrible to just call it "better") -- perhaps later in your tango journey it may become a better fit.

But if at first you don't at least make an effort to make it work, then it won't, and then you'll burn through a lot of milongas before you find one to your taste, and probably end up with a poorer experience than the one you'd have had with a more open-minded attitude.

Of course, you can also organise one (I did), but that's also quite a can of worms, given the tango politics that can be played in any moderately-sized city with room for more than one teaching couple and/or organiser ;-). Plus if you're an organiser and/or a DJ you don't get to dance that much (one reason to have a rotation of DJs for a regular milonga...)
 

newbie

Well-Known Member
#66
In Rome, do as the Romans
I once happen to be in Rome for a tango festival.
Errr, not in Rome technically, more in the lobby of some large hotel between Rome and the airport. Also while people from many nations attended, there were not that many locals. My partner was a local and having a family she did not attend the milongas. Everybody dancing basically only with his/her partner, I had no opportunity to invite.
But well, when it comes to it, I was not in Rome, and not with Romans.
 

sixela

Well-Known Member
#67
Those large festival/encuentros landing as a UFO on an unsuspecting European city are a law onto themselves. They are quite conspicuous around the Mediterranean but in spring and summer they can spread North quite a bit ;-).

Someone I know (who shall remain nameless) recently coined the term CMT (Club Med Tango). That literally had me laughing out loud.
 
#68
Frankly, with that attitude, you will find many places unwelcoming, and my advice to others is simply not to emulate you (and as a result, my personal invitation to members to contact me for tips for local milongas over here does not extend to you).

In Rome, do as the Romans, rather than try to complain about the fact that Rome isn't whatever city you come from. Not only in tango, mind you.
It's good to know that you can find partners at every milonga.

I'll find many places unwelcoming and I'll avoid them. It's so easy.

When I'll travel to Rome, I'll definitely gather information about every available milonga, the best time of the year to visit, the women/men ratio, the number of strangers, etc. If it's a festival, I'll check photos and videos of the previous year.

I actually checked videos of Fabian Peralta recently. He was at a festival in Ghent.
Oh my god, the dance floor is so tiny. Thanks for not inviting me.
 

sixela

Well-Known Member
#69
When I'll travel to Rome
That wasn't literally Rome (and I doubt you'll travel to the Rome of the idiom, unless you have a time machine).

I see you've doing your homework. Good. That's step #1. I do the same. It's not enough to make you popular, though, you will still have to appear competent and (yes, even!) likable.

Thanks for not inviting me.
As they say "don't let the door hit you on the way out".
 

jantango

Active Member
#70
It's good to know that you can find partners at every milonga.

I'll find many places unwelcoming and I'll avoid them. It's so easy.

When I'll travel to Rome, I'll definitely gather information about every available milonga, the best time of the year to visit, the women/men ratio, the number of strangers, etc. If it's a festival, I'll check photos and videos of the previous year.

I actually checked videos of Fabian Peralta recently. He was at a festival in Ghent.
Oh my god, the dance floor is so tiny. Thanks for not inviting me.
I viewed a Peralta video in Ghent. He had loads of space for all his tricks. If you think that dance area is tiny, don't make the trip to Buenos Aires where El Beso and Lo de Celia are about the same.
 
#72
That wasn't literally Rome (and I doubt you'll travel to the Rome of the idiom, unless you have a time machine).
If I follow the idiom "When in Rome, do as the Romans do", then when I'll arrive in Rome:
  • I'll invite my Italian girlfriend to accompany me for a night of dances.
  • Upon arriving at the first milonga, I'll greet my 50 Italian female and male friends and we'll have a small talk in Italian with each other.
  • I won't have to cabeceo anybody as I'll have the best dancer near me and the other Italian ladies will be happy to be my partners as they will have been knowing me for years.
 

sixela

Well-Known Member
#73
Look who's snotty now°...and I see the bit about the idiom went right over your head.

--
°I predicted in tempore non suspecto that you would turn out to be God's greatest gift to women. Apparently, that's true. I'm sure that you have yuge dance floors and yuge hands, too. Not like those Ghent dance floors and Ghent men tiny hands. Sad!
 
Last edited:

sixela

Well-Known Member
#76
I'm _shocked_ that you dare post a picture of a dance floor that's so small! The nerve!

Sorry, I promise I'll stop yanking your chain. [And yes, no need to point out it's not the dance floor.]
 
#79
It's a festival photo. Most of these ladies are Russian, Ukranian, and Romanian (as from Romania, not from Rome). :)
That's why I said that it's better to visit a festival instead of a regular once-a-week milonga if you travel somewhere.
There will be more ladies who will be eager to dance with a stranger.
But each festival is different, of course.
 
#80
At two festivals I made the experience that the ladies at the main event looked for an exciting tanda. So I got some dances, not the point, but I got the subliminal feeling that I dance not "exciting enough".
I had a better feeling at the more informal milongas in the afternoon with them. So that all was not "snobbish" but related to time and possiblitiy to dance with foreign friends and promising strangers.
From that experience I postponed such events till my tango improved. And nowadays I appear with my SO which dances quite well. That's an effective way to get a lot of possibilities to dance - somehow or other...
 

Dance Ads