Gee, you're good -> the art and science of compliments

brujo

New Member
#1
"Girlfriend, the way you style made me poop my pants".

Sometimes you go into a club, find a complete stranger, and then completely connect with each other on the dance floor. The song(s) finish, you're both sweaty and huffing, and the first words that come out of your mouth, "Wow, you're a pretty good dancer". "Hey, that was fun!". "You rock!".

The next week, the same out-of-body experience on the dance floor. You both come down from cloud 9 and, "Gee, thanks". "Wow, we got to do that again".

Remember third grade? You need to show, not tell. Next time, explain why they rock. "Wow, that triple flip up in the air in the middle of the crowded dance floor really took my breath away, I thought I was going to die!". "Holy crap, someone actually knows about eye contact in salsa, you are da' man!". Point out things that other people might have noticed but never expressed out loud.

Or tell them how the dance made you feel. One of the best compliments for me, "Wow, if I close my eyes during this bachata, I can imagine myself back in the Dominican Republic". "You put so much feeling into your dancing, I can feel every beat of the music when I dance with you!"

Don't settle for mediocrity. Guess what, by pointing out what other people do well, you get to start to slowly incorporate these elements into your own dancing. But please, in moderation only, a brown nose is as big a turnoff as body odour....

And yes, neoDevin, this works for vengeful putdowns too.
 

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
#3
Yup, brujo. I loved your post, and you're so right. A compliment is nice to get, but it's so much better if it's specific. And oh yeah, if it's given infrequently enough so that you know it's sincere. To me, too many compliments are bad because I start to discount all of them. Sparing, but positive feedback. That works for me. :D
 

Sagitta

Well-Known Member
#4
Enjoyed that Brujo! Thanks.

A big "Thank You" with a big :D always, then sometimes the compliments when they are sincere!!
 

Vince A

Active Member
#6
MapleLeaf Salsero said:
My best compliment:

It happened severalmonths ago. After the dance she wouldn´t let go of my hand, grasping it unconsciously for a long time. She never said a word...
Yeow . . . you must have felt like the King of Salsa!
 
#7
This is maybe just slightly OT, but I remember once asking a stranger to dance. She looked like she really wanted to dance, but wasn't sure about me. After the first few basics, she spoke to the friends she had been standing with and said, "He can dance!" with a big smile on her face. Judging by her rather buxom figure, I think she might have had bad experiences with guys just wanting to grope her or rub up against her or something. But that "He can dance" made me happier than many compliments I've received.
 
#8
(That reminds me of a certain woman I've seen in clubs who, to me, looks kind of hard and unapproachable, but there is something very girlish and innocent about her dancing, when I've seen her dance.)
 
#9
Vince A said:
MapleLeaf Salsero said:
My best compliment:

It happened severalmonths ago. After the dance she wouldn´t let go of my hand, grasping it unconsciously for a long time. She never said a word...
Yeow . . . you must have felt like the King of Salsa!
Not really because she wasn´t the good of a dancer.
 

youngsta

Active Member
#10
Ok I just got two of the best compliments EVER in the last 2 days.

#1 A woman I've danced with a few times told me she dances her worst with me because she is intimidated by my confidence! I was like :shock: I told her I used to be the same way when I danced with women I knew were very good. I just don't see myself that way so I couldn't believe she said it.

#2 I asked a young lady that's on the local salsa dance team (Salsa Caliente) to dance the other night. She was the 'ish and the dance was amazing! Every dude in the joint was asking her to dance. A hot song came on and she ran over and grabbed me without saying a word!! I was like :D :D :D
 

SDsalsaguy

Administrator
Staff member
#11
youngsta said:
I asked a young lady that's on the local salsa dance team (Salsa Caliente) to dance the other night. She was the 'ish and the dance was amazing! Every dude in the joint was asking her to dance. A hot song came on and she ran over and grabbed me without saying a word!! I was like :D :D :D
That's the bomb youngsta...especially since actions, as the saying goes, speak louder than words! :D
 
#12
Impressive... most of my compliments have to be short because I'm listening to the next piece of music that comes on and I want to look for my next follower. ;)

If there is more time, I'll usually say, "Hey, you dance very well." The follower will generally reply, "Well, you lead really well."

Of course, the ultimate compliment I suppose is when my follower decides to throw in a very subtle set of body rolls (during my west-coast swing anyway). Or the one time this woman I was dancing with decided she'd spoon me or hip grind in very close position (she's married... to someone else) because we were communicating so well with our dancing [and I wasn't a creep who'd take it the wrong way]).
 
#14
Genesius Redux said:
:mrgreen: "Huh huh huh. You dance real good. Huh huh. And you're pretty, too. Huh huh huh. Can I touch your feet? Huh huh huh." :mrgreen:

:twisted: :wink:
GR, now I know why you got that Bart avatar :tongue:
 
#16
Compliments on my dancing -- hmm -- yes, but usually they're not specific -- however I've had a few leads ask me if I was Columbian (!) and a few say that I didn't dance like an American. Must be the hips.

=)
Melissa
 
#17
mellody43 said:
Compliments on my dancing -- hmm -- yes, but usually they're not specific -- however I've had a few leads ask me if I was Columbian (!) and a few say that I didn't dance like an American.
That's a nice compliment. Every now and then I dance socially with someone who teaches at another studio and who doesn't know me--and I sometimes get asked if I teach.
 
#18
That's a great compliment! A few guys have asked me that but they were beginning dancers so I took the comment with a grain of salt!

As a woman, I find the best compliments to be from other women because you know there isn't an, ahem, ulterior motive there. Depends on the guy, too -- some you just get a feeling are buttering you up! LOL! Others you know don't give out compliments lightly so it means more.

Getting OT here. =)
Melissa
 
#19
*waves* Yay, I'm back again! (But I'm forgetting my Samba count -- forgot it, rather. It's been over a month since I've danced. Anybody who can PM me with the Samba count, I would be *very* appreciative!)

Getting compliments while dancing is definitely a good thing. Since I'm a beginner, I get quite a few compliments from my teacher on how fast I'm progressing, so I look at what I think I'm definitely not doing well at, in my opinion, and when I get a compliment on that, then I really know that it's a progress marker. (I don't know anyone else's experience as beginners -- did your teachers give you lots of complements too?) But, it's not all complements all the time, so, Pygmalion's right; when complements are given sparingly, then you know you've earned them! :wink: :D

*grins* Yup, Genesius does deserve that Bart avatar! And, hey, we *all* love a little chaos surrounding us, right? =^__^= :banana: :twisted:

Sakura Kitty :kitty:
 
#20
mellody43 said:
As a woman, I find the best compliments to be from other women
That's so true, Melissa! Especially when most of us (more often than we like to :roll: ) fight over the good leads out there (my town is always leader-short :x ), it's sooooooo nice to have positive feedbacks from fellow salseras!

Last night, this lady I've never met said to me: 'Are you Shelley....? All the boys are always asking for you.' I went ':shock: ?'

She explained: 'Whenever we are out, the boys are always going: "Where's Shelley...? Gotta get a dance with her...!' It's great to finally meet you.'

I went " :oops: :oops: !" but :D !
 

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