Gee, you're good -> the art and science of compliments

I went to Latin Sol Saturday night kinda early (so I wouldn't have to pay $10) and decided to help out w/ the beginners class to pass the time by. We were doing partnerwork and Josh had the ladies rotate after every pattern. I came across one beginner who seemed to be a little bit more advanced than the other ladies (the prettiest one, too ;-}) and we proceeded to go through the pattern. Josh then told all the ladies to move one spot to the right as usual, but my current partner said aloud "ooh, I don't want to go anywhere now!" Needless to say, I was quite flattered......:)
 

luh

Active Member
i got a mail that is probably the biggest compliment for my dancing i ever got, - and it is not in the first post in any category.

my teacher asked me if i want to come into the 4th level. This is here the highest, and the only way to get into it, is to be asked by the teacher. till now there were just 3 couples in it.

luh
 
i used to get, and enjoy, the compliments i'd get about "hotness." i was thinking recently that the thing i most love hearing a lead say after a dance these days is, "god, that was fun."

i mean, the scene is jam-packed with pretty people in tiny outfits doing 'hot' things. many of them are also

a) stupid
b) snotty
c) possessed of a facial expression that radiates alternating boredom and disdain.


So in that climate, I enjoy 'fun.' Fun is good. Fun is rare. And FUN is what i'm about these days.
 

cornutt

Well-Known Member
i mean, the scene is jam-packed with pretty people in tiny outfits doing 'hot' things. many of them are also

a) stupid
b) snotty
c) possessed of a facial expression that radiates alternating boredom and disdain.
Well, to me, that is not hot. It's very, very phony (particularly that last one), and I don't know of anyone who is attracted to obvious phonyness.

[quote
So in that climate, I enjoy 'fun.' Fun is good. Fun is rare. And FUN is what i'm about these days.[/quote]

Now that is hot! ;)
 
the other day, a guy in my scene came up to me and said, 'hey, i don't know you do it. you have very few moves, and you're not even that good, but the girls are always having fun dancing with you.'

I replied back saying,' i have no clue what it is, who understands women anyways ?'

And he said, 'well whatever it is, don't take it for granted'.

and that made my week.
 

luh

Active Member
in the dance camp in france, we had one class with s&v in which the followers learned some styling with their hip. so i was enjoying the view, and one especially good follower and good looking asked me - "so what do you do while I'm shaking my hip" - and i actually didn't want to - but this kind of slipped out "I'll have to try to not get off-beat when i see it" - made her blush and smile quite widely. so i guess even though afterwards i thought this was a dumb answer - i think she liked it. (though i think I'm not gonna let that one slip out again) :)
luh
 

luh

Active Member
wow - this is probably the best compliment i EVER got.

you are by far the most musical dancer in our scene.

- and this comment was by the teacher. WOOHOO. I'd never would have dreamed that in my most venturous dreams.
luh
 

Sagitta

Well-Known Member
Pretty good dancer..sort of hesitated dancing with her because I have my own crazy style...unlike anyone else out there...and wasn't sure if she was up for it BUT at the end of the dance she thanks me and says "this is the most fun I've ever had." And she had this huge smile on her face and the way she spoke showed that she was lit up with the dance, and that showed during the danec too! Now I didn't put many complicated moves in...but did incorporate a lot of playing around. That was one heck of a compliment - made my day.
 
My standard response to anyone complimenting me now is either "I'm just o.k" or "I think I'm passable" :D It's sometimes depressing to realize that the more I know, the more there is to know so it really keeps me grounded.

--T
 
My standard response to anyone complimenting me now is either "I'm just o.k" or "I think I'm passable" :D It's sometimes depressing to realize that the more I know, the more there is to know so it really keeps me grounded.

--T
Heh. I usually say "Thanks!" and give a smile.

Then they usually say "how long have you been dancing?"

and I say "about 5 or 6 years"

and they roll their eyes and seem to say to themselves "ah that explains it! ANY idiot can get that good in 5 years!"
 

Sagitta

Well-Known Member
Well actually, not anyone can get that good in 5/6 years. It depends where one wants to take one's dancing...how much time you put in, one's natural inclinations/talents...
 
Well actually, not anyone can get that good in 5/6 years. It depends where one wants to take one's dancing...how much time you put in, one's natural inclinations/talents...

I'm sorry but if one can't get good in 5, 6 years even if they're not dancing several times a week then either they're doing something wrong or they just plainly suck. 5,6 years is A LOT of time. Not becoming AMAZING in 5,6 years. I can see that. I can even accept that not happening - this is where I bring that point of how far one wants to take his dancing. But in 5 or 6 years getting good by any standards of good is a given.
 
in my opinion.. if one isn't good at it in 2-3 years .. find a new activity where u can be..

then again.. 'good' is relative' and its concept increases exponentially with time
 
I'm sorry but if one can't get good in 5, 6 years even if they're not dancing several times a week then either they're doing something wrong or they just plainly suck. 5,6 years is A LOT of time. Not becoming AMAZING in 5,6 years. I can see that. I can even accept that not happening - this is where I bring that point of how far one wants to take his dancing. But in 5 or 6 years getting good by any standards of good is a given.
Well. You can for sure get good enough to impress non-dancers. (Actually you can get good enough to impress non-dancers in three months, they're not that hard to impress ;) )

But there are a number of people I can think of offhand who have definitely been dancing >5 years (and >10 in at least one case) and they are still not 'good' by the standards of people who actually social dance. A couple of the leaders are actually notoriously bad and are avoided like the plague by almost any follower who has had the misfortune to dance with them at least once.

And the followers - well, this is a subjective and strictly observational judgement on my part, but there are definitely women around here who've been dancing for years who, e.g., still don't spot. They execute all the moves okay and they may actually feel like wonderful follows for all I know - but aesthetically, IMHO at least, something is definitely missing. Dunno.

These people are a minority of course. Most of the people who've been dancing for years are pretty darn good. But you know what the triage rate in salsa is. It's enormous. You can bet that for every one of those superstars there are what, maybe 50 people who never got past Beginner I? There's got to be some kind of selection process going on there.

(Btw I would be willing to bet my dance shoes that sweavo is a superb leader, just from his attitude alone. Of course the swooning women waxing floridly poetic about his lead on salsaforums aren't hurting his rep either ;) )
 
But there are a number of people I can think of offhand who have definitely been dancing >5 years (and >10 in at least one case) and they are still not 'good' by the standards of people who actually social dance. A couple of the leaders are actually notoriously bad and are avoided like the plague by almost any follower who has had the misfortune to dance with them at least once.
Let me rephrase it this way. If they have not gotten good in 5 years, chances that they'll get much better are small.

(Btw I would be willing to bet my dance shoes that sweavo is a superb leader, just from his attitude alone. Of course the swooning women waxing floridly poetic about his lead on salsaforums aren't hurting his rep either ;) )
You're either practicing for your next Harlequin novel or someone here has a forum crush.
 

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