Getting asked out my dance partners but not interested in that way...

#81
next time you talk to her, mention your hypothetical long distance relationship. [The "I'm unavailable" strategy]
That works well but becomes sticky if you develop a real interest in somebody else.

or

next time you see her, ask her if she knows X (another girl that you are sure that she doesn't know too well) and see if she'll find out for you if X might be interested in exchanging numbers [The "you're such a great friend, but just a friend" strategy].
Very clever, if a bit complicated. I like it - but this girl seems pretty obtuse, I wonder if even this will get it across to her.

don't feel obligated to be "blunt" to her and be embarrassed/awkward for a short while - just use one of the above techniques or some other that doesn't put you in an awkward position..
I'd just worry that nothing other than a simple and direct statement would be likely to get through to this particular person.
 
#82
That works well but becomes sticky if you develop a real interest in somebody else
Well, then say a better crafted lie.

"My girlfriend just moved to Timbuktoo for grad school and we are trying out long distance relationship... It's a difficult phase for me.. I hope you understand.. <blow your nose>".

Later when you actually have interested in someone else, you can always recount in great detail how painfully you suffered when you found out about your girlfriends new paramour in Timbuktoo...
 
#83
I almost choked on my Coke when I read this thread. And I don't mean the drink I mean the white powder.

You have what's called a high quality problem. What to do about it? You literally don't have to do anything. Anything at all. Just keep on doing whatever you've been doing so far. Be friendly, joke around, be unattainable and if she actually asks you out just say that you are not attracted to her in that way but you love her personality and you'd like to be friends. Or something like that.

Don't lie. And don't make up excuses. Women smell that from a mile away and you'll quicky go from cool to wimp.
 
#84
Don't lie. And don't make up excuses. Women smell that from a mile away and you'll quicky go from cool to wimp.
I suppose he's been trying hard to acheive that effect, so why not? :rolleyes:


Anyways, women are as silly and stupid as men are, and as susceptible to deceit as anybody else (in other words, you might look at it as if they are as impervious to deceit anyone else - glass half empty or half full - same thing!). So feel free to lie if you are a good liar and can improvise well. I'd like if I were you, successfully, and get away with it too. It has nothing to do with your/her sex, just has to do with smarts and a knack for delivering the line well...
 
#87
I suppose he's been trying hard to acheive that effect, so why not? :rolleyes:


Anyways, women are as silly and stupid as men are, and as susceptible to deceit as anybody else (in other words, you might look at it as if they are as impervious to deceit anyone else - glass half empty or half full - same thing!). So feel free to lie if you are a good liar and can improvise well. I'd like if I were you, successfully, and get away with it too. It has nothing to do with your/her sex, just has to do with smarts and a knack for delivering the line well...

Ummm...NO. They aren't. Women are much better at decoding body language than a man. Besides that, that type of behaviour will be perceived in the environment and propagate the same wimpy air to all the other women in in the venue. And it will comeback everytime these two girls you're trying to avoid will be there. It might even happen that your state will get anchored to the actual venue so you will feel that every time you're there regardless if your 'fan base' is also present.

Trust me, it's better to just be a man about it. You will respect yourself more, and these women (and those who are friends with them) will respect you more too.
 
#90
Ummm...NO. They aren't. Women are much better at decoding body language than a man. Besides that, that type of behaviour will be perceived in the environment and propagate the same wimpy air to all the other women in in the venue. And it will comeback everytime these two girls you're trying to avoid will be there. It might even happen that your state will get anchored to the actual venue so you will feel that every time you're there regardless if your 'fan base' is also present.

Trust me, it's better to just be a man about it. You will respect yourself more, and these women (and those who are friends with them) will respect you more too.

Haven't met a woman (or a man) I can't look in the eye and lie successfully. I don't do it very very rarely, but its not too hard. The trick here is that you should already have a reputation for very high integrity, then the occasional lie (or white lie) will simply be taken for truth without any doubts - woman's intuition or not. So it works for me. If the OP is a good liar with a very high integrity in general, it will work for him too.

Also, women's intuition is greatly exaggerated and overrated.
 
#92
Can't say I didn't warn you! She is trouble. Being associated with trouble in your studio isn't good even if it isn't your fault. Definitely talk to her only in the presence of others. Get a female friend to be present for the "leave me alone speech". Firm and kind. Then have nothing to do with her-not friends, not dance partners-nothing. As I said Before, she is being inappropriate. Dancing is supposed to be fun.
BTW, Englezul's comments are awesome.
 
#93
Haven't met a woman (or a man) I can't look in the eye and lie successfully. I don't do it very very rarely, but its not too hard. The trick here is that you should already have a reputation for very high integrity, then the occasional lie (or white lie) will simply be taken for truth without any doubts - woman's intuition or not. So it works for me. If the OP is a good liar with a very high integrity in general, it will work for him too.



That's interesting. But unless you're the top CIA agent your pupils will still dilate when you lie, your breathing will still change, your skill will still change complexion. Women will pick these changes up instinctively, they are better aquainted with social cues and body language than men are.

Also, about this thread you seem to be missing the point.

Also, women's intuition is greatly exaggerated and overrated.
It looks to me you're trying to comfort yourself with a false sense of security. Trust me, by the time you rationalize that you're interested in a woman, she already knows it. And also, if someone doesn't tell you straight up that they think you're lying it's not because they can't tell, it's because that conversation will not lead anywhere. That doesn't mean they don't know, they don't suspect anything or that they even care.
 
#94
That's interesting. But unless you're the top CIA agent your pupils will still dilate when you lie, your breathing will still change, your skill will still change complexion. Women will pick these changes up instinctively, they are better aquainted with social cues and body language than men are.

Also, about this thread you seem to be missing the point.



It looks to me you're trying to comfort yourself with a false sense of security. Trust me, by the time you rationalize that you're interested in a woman, she already knows it. And also, if someone doesn't tell you straight up that they think you're lying it's not because they can't tell, it's because that conversation will not lead anywhere. That doesn't mean they don't know, they don't suspect anything or that they even care.
LOL Englezul. I kinda agree... ;)
 
#95
I think the trouble with lying is not that the other person may well figure out you're lying, the real issue (I think) is that you know yourself that you're being dis-honest, and that your integrity is in question.

It's not so much what the other person thinks about you, it's what you think about yourself.
 
#96
Yeah. If you're going to lie, doing it unconvincingly is actually more clear and more honest.

He: "Want to come to dinner tonight?"
She: "I'm washing my hair!"
He: "How about tommorrow night?"
She: "I'm drying it"

- from some movie I can't track down on imdb, though I feel it must have been http://imdb.com/name/nm0001613/ Bernadette Peters saying it.
 
#97
Yeah. If you're going to lie, doing it unconvincingly is actually more clear and more honest.

He: "Want to come to dinner tonight?"
She: "I'm washing my hair!"
He: "How about tommorrow night?"
She: "I'm drying it"

- from some movie I can't track down on imdb, though I feel it must have been http://imdb.com/name/nm0001613/ Bernadette Peters saying it.

I actually like this, it's funny, but it's more 'advanced' and harder to pull off because you have to do it in a way that's just humorous and sends of an unattainable vibe that is actually somewhat flirty and doesn't make her feel uncomfortable.

Chances are that if you're not good at this kind of thing you'll send off the 'you're not good enough' vibe instead which is just not cool.
 
#98
6. Tell her you are not in the market for a relationship, but 1-night stands are ok. Ask her if she wants a 1-night stand. Keep asking her. Text message her.

7. Be a jerk. Ask her to do your chores, e.g. iron your shirts. Send her on errands, e.g. to the corner store for a 6-pack of beer. Tell her you wanted the tall boys, and send her back to exchange it. Drink all the beer by yourself, or with your buddies, while she watches. Don't offer her any beer, and if she asks for some, send her off on another errand.

8. Be a real jerk. Tell her that if she wants to be with you, that she has to wear more mini-skirts, etc. Borrow some money from her, and don't pay her back. Keep borrowing more money from her, etc. Ask her if she has gained weight, or if she has considered augmentation, etc.

9. Next time she asks you for a dance, tell her, "sorry, I'm resting", and then immediately go ask someone else to dance. Make sure she sees you do this. Repeat.

10. Next time she approaches you, have your buddies/ wingmen run interference, long enough for you to make your escape and ask someone else to dance.


The scary thing is that she would probably like me more after that :)

You know crazy thing, like a girl and be nice = do not see you that way.

Not really interested in girl = infatuation

CRAZY....
 
#99
Maybe this is a comment for another thread, but one of my best friends and I have gone out dancing since we both started learning. As we didn't know names, but were obsessively talking about dancing & which leads were good to dance with, etc, we have come up with a huge list of nicknames...usually based on something about them that's distinct: baby-powder smelling man, the "guy who likes to spin girls who don't know what they're doing", "windy" (his hair always looks windblown), etc. it's hilarious for us, and I can imagine that anyone eavesdropping on our conversations thinks we're a little off...but it gets the point across without us either using names we know or having to remember every single name we do learn!

LOL

TOo funny. Windy. LOVE IT!
 
Ummm...NO. They aren't. Women are much better at decoding body language than a man. Besides that, that type of behaviour will be perceived in the environment and propagate the same wimpy air to all the other women in in the venue. And it will comeback everytime these two girls you're trying to avoid will be there. It might even happen that your state will get anchored to the actual venue so you will feel that every time you're there regardless if your 'fan base' is also present.

Trust me, it's better to just be a man about it. You will respect yourself more, and these women (and those who are friends with them) will respect you more too.
Great replies and comments all round. MANY THANKS!!!
 

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