Heard any good jokes? (keep it clean and polite)


Well-Known Member
Just got sent this Air Force joke by a co-worker:

A C-130 is cruising along when an F-16 pulls up on the wing. The F-16 jock calls the C-130 crew over the radio: "Watch this!" He accelerates, does an eight-point roll, pulls up into a steep climb with afterburner, and then dives and breaks the sound barrier. He calls back the C-130 and says, "Hey, what did you think about that?"

The C-130 captain replies, "Oh yeah, watch this!" And for the next five minutes, the fighter jock watches as the C-130 continues to cruise along, straight and level. And then the C-130 captain calls, "What did you think about that?"

"You didn't do anything!" the F-16 pilot replies.

"Oh yes I did. I stood up, stretched my legs, went to the head, and got myself a cup of coffee and a cinnamon bun!"


Well-Known Member
Two I heard today:

Q: How do you prevent infections from biting insects?

A: Don't bite them

Q: What did one maths textbook say to the other?

A: Boy, do you have a lot of problems.
Some physics jokes:

A Neutron at a bar is ready to leave and asks the bartender for the tab. The bartender goes, "for you, no charge".

Atom #1: I think I lost an electron!
Atom #2: Are you sure?
Atom #3: Yep, I'm positive!

They recently discovered that photons have mass. Who knew photons were Christians?!

[Massive "groan" alert!]


New Member
Ya know what - I think that's how it goes! I knew it sounded a bit funny, just couldn't put my finger on it BUT it works, right? Actually, 9 would hate 7 because 7 8 9.... so the joke doesn't work. Boo for not being able to edit that post :(
The email claims that this was a real case transcript:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.


Well-Known Member
'You are old', said the youth, 'and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak -
Pray, how did you manage to do it?'

'In my youth', said his father, 'I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life.'

lewis carroll


New Member
A women says to her husband while looking in the Mirror
"Oh I am Fat, Ugly."

the husband said
"Well there is nothing wrong with your eyesight!"

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