A C-130 is cruising along when an F-16 pulls up on the wing. The F-16 jock calls the C-130 crew over the radio: "Watch this!" He accelerates, does an eight-point roll, pulls up into a steep climb with afterburner, and then dives and breaks the sound barrier. He calls back the C-130 and says, "Hey, what did you think about that?"
The C-130 captain replies, "Oh yeah, watch this!" And for the next five minutes, the fighter jock watches as the C-130 continues to cruise along, straight and level. And then the C-130 captain calls, "What did you think about that?"
"You didn't do anything!" the F-16 pilot replies.
"Oh yes I did. I stood up, stretched my legs, went to the head, and got myself a cup of coffee and a cinnamon bun!"
One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his own sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife,
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma .."
A four-year-old girl walks into the pet shop "Please sir, I'd like a bunny rabbit for a pet."
The owner takes the girl to the rabbit cages, and shows her a few. "Now this one is all white with pink eyes. This one is a pretty shade of brown. And this one is black and white with long floppy ears. So which one do you think is the cutest?"
The girl looks up at the owner and says, "Really mister, I don't think my pet boa constrictor will care."