How do you answer this question?


Well-Known Member
That's very insulting! Do you really mean it??
Yeah, no kidding. Either dance with her or don't. Maybe organize a pre-milonga class on the codigos (instead of singling her out). If you are going to bring "this is my responsibility as an organizer, not something I WANT to do" into it, then a less insulting way of putting it might be: "As an organizer, I do try to dance at least once at some point with everyone who comes. I'm sorry I didn't realize that I haven't danced with you yet".

Of course, this woman might have that subtlety fly right over her head, and she's also likely to feel that once you have danced with her, she's now someone that you "dancing with" (ie: a regularly sought partner).

There's really not a perfect solution.
The story is a bit more complicated. It is a very small suburban Tango community, of which I am one of the organizers. The lady in question is a beginner and a very slow learner. Her appearance is "non - inviting", not because her advanced age, but rather due to self neglect.
Personally I prefer to dance with older ladies as typically they are more experienced and mature, and have only dancing on their mind. Just a point, to make clear that that woman's age was not an issue.

So here is a lady who takes the liberty to provoke me, or reprimand me in from of some other members of our community. I had other situation where I was asked a similar question, but in private and with a gentle tone. That one irritated me, so I though I'll turn to this community for some thoughts and input.

What I am hearing here is that I don't owe anyone to dance with them just like others to have to dance with me.
As long as I am civil I can just smile and walk away.
ooooh! You are indeed in a tougher situation... Organizer in a small community.. That is tough, because you have to keep some balance... But again, I think that you shouldn't be obligated to dance if you don't want to, plus sometimes and for some people, a rejection makes them think of the situation a bit differently. It might lead them to realize that they can do something to get more dances, if of course the rejection is not aggressive and mean which I doubt it was..!

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