"I can follow anything you can lead"

wonderwoman

Well-Known Member
#21
Whether they sit a lot depends on how cute they are. The real good lookers seem to have no problem finding good leads so many of them never learn to dance.
Yes. From my experience with salsa nights, you have to be extremely skilled or very hot. But to get deeper with it, it doesn't matter how good of a dancer you are. What matters is how you make the guy feel. You can mess up five times a song, and if you crack up laughing each time you mess up, he digs it. He's going to ask you to dance again and again as long as he thinks he can make you laugh. *shrug*
 

DWise1

Well-Known Member
#22
Whether they sit a lot depends on how cute they are. The real good lookers seem to have no problem finding good leads so many of them never learn to dance.
A good friend I made in Lindy class a few years ago was a salsera with about 4 years experience. She had met and become friends with two other women at the "PCH Club" at the "Golden Sails Motel" on Pacific Coast Highway, so she referred to them as "The PCH Girls". The other two were blonde, whereas she wasn't. One of her complaints was that her "buddies" always got asked to dance whereas she, the brunette, wasn't. Latino bias, ¿vale?
 

toothlesstiger

Well-Known Member
#23
What an odd realization I have upon reading this post. The number of blonds I see when I go dancing seems to be about 1/10 of what I see in the general public.
 
#24
A good friend I made in Lindy class a few years ago was a salsera with about 4 years experience. She had met and become friends with two other women at the "PCH Club" at the "Golden Sails Motel" on Pacific Coast Highway, so she referred to them as "The PCH Girls". The other two were blonde, whereas she wasn't. One of her complaints was that her "buddies" always got asked to dance whereas she, the brunette, wasn't. Latino bias, ¿vale?
Vale. :-?

I'm a brunette too, and it happens to me a lot too.
 

Aura

Active Member
#25
Like any absolute statement, one finds that it only serves to lessen his/her credibility, and only increase one's skepticism. Of course, if she just phrased it wrong and meant she's a willing follower, then it'd be a different situation entirely. But, from the context, it sounds like she was just being overconfident.
 

tsb

Well-Known Member
#26
in my experience, that sentiment is only expressed by an untrained person who thinks that they have a lot of natural aptitude.

the more attractive women get asked more initially, but if they can't dance, they only get asked once by the guys who are there to dance. and the guys who can't dance tend to be the ones they "learn" from so it often compounds the problem.

it is what it is.
 
#27
Yes. From my experience with salsa nights, you have to be extremely skilled or very hot. But to get deeper with it, it doesn't matter how good of a dancer you are. What matters is how you make the guy feel. You can mess up five times a song, and if you crack up laughing each time you mess up, he digs it. He's going to ask you to dance again and again as long as he thinks he can make you laugh. *shrug*
Showing that you are having a good time trumps whether you can follow all the moves with perfection. But then again there's the other extreme. I recently had a dance with a lady at a social. She seemed like she was having a great time, laughing a her mistakes. The problem was there were so many mistakes! It was frustrating. Her balance was horible. I gave her two turns at the end and her elbow wacked me in the head!

I think it has a lot to do with your personality. If I like you, then I'll let it slide.
 
#29
Today, he was leading me with his fingertips. Not hands, not body connection, not arms, fingertips.
This is not unusual. I'm not particularly advanced (okay, wait, I'm not advanced at all) and I hope I spend most of my time leading from my fingertips (when not connected more fully). It's also something that is taught even in low level intermediate classes, or even some beginner classes I've had, I think.
 
#30
Hmm, I haven't heard that line in an awful long time. When I hear anyone talk up their own abilities, I'm immediately thinking Dunning-Kruger.
Wow... I wonder how many people know that reference? :)

I agree... They usually are in the "don't know what they don't know..." camp.

I'll have to find the links to those studies (you may have already added them on this thread, I haven't read any further...)

Totally right!
 

toothlesstiger

Well-Known Member
#32
Hmm, surprised I missed that one, thanks for calling it out.

A follower who does not follow, even if it is wrong, is not following. She may have many valid reasons for not following, but she isn't following.

I dance all the time with ladies that guess what I am trying to lead, instead of actually following. That doesn't work out unless I lead what they guess.
 

samina

Well-Known Member
#34
I dance all the time with ladies that guess what I am trying to lead, instead of actually following. That doesn't work out unless I lead what they guess.
there are arguments one could make that the perfect lead leaves no room for guessing... :tongue:

IAE, my MO is to follow what's led (or what i understand being led...) during social dancing, but during group classes i may at times not follow but do my own part regardless, as an aid for someone i know is having a hard time finding his way. i don't feel it's only his responsibility in that context -- we are sharing the learning experience.

other than that... dancing with a partner is about making the best of what someone gives you, however you understand it, and sending your best back, so on a dance floor "make it work and make it enjoyable" is generally my personal credo. if i'm doing that, i figure...can't ask for much more. there are simply way too many variables on a social dance floor...well, on any dance floor, for that matter.
 
#36
The thing with dancing with ladies who actually follows is if you don't have a correct lead they will simply go with what you actually leads instead of what you meant to lead.

I have been told off so many times that why am I not doing fallaways or pivots or whatever the leader was trying to lead. However, I do not feel like the leader is leading that move. What to do ? Do what they are leading or do what they are actually trying to lead ?
 

toothlesstiger

Well-Known Member
#40
If a lady has the ability to recognize that I'm being excruciatingly polite, that will show. She will usually want to dance with me again, and will actually try harder to follow what I lead. At least, this has been my experience.

Whereas, if I intimate that she is doing it wrong, at worst, I look like an arrogant fool, if I am in fact the one at fault, and at best, I'm an arrogant know-it-all who is not pleasant to dance with.
 

Dance Ads