I don't want a relationship. I don't need a relationship.

Swingolder said:
Safe men are NOT necessarily boring. And neither are women who prefer a safe man.

I have worked with too many younger girls (students)/or younger coworkers and they would come in after crying all night because of a fight. Or even calling in sick because their guy didn't come home until whenever in the morning. Or the break-up!
I prefer being me than them.
Same here! :cool: :D

Rosa :)
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
Swingolder said:
Safe men are NOT necessarily boring. And neither are women who prefer a safe man.

I have worked with too many younger girls (students)/or younger coworkers and they would come in after crying all night because of a fight. Or even calling in sick because their guy didn't come home until whenever in the morning. Or the break-up!
I prefer being me than them.
agree...but what I meant and failed to be precise about was to say that sometimes some folk never learn how to appreciate normal and calm as safe....and they instead find it boring regardless of whether it is or not...and the key is their learning how to deal with that....
 
I'd absolutely love a safe relationship. I'm still a bit hesitant after my last broken heart though, so I'll stick with being terminally single for a while yet.
 

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
DancePoet said:
Actually one of the first things a woman decides, conciously or unconciously, is whether or not they feel secure with a guy. If they don't, they won't date him. ;)
Umm... Perhaps I should have included the disclaimer "for me." For me, safe is a curse. No. To be perfectly frank, the first thing I usually decide about a guy is sexual attraction, yes or no. There's nothing safe about that, IMO.
 

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
jon said:
Or maybe "I was sensible, so I don't have any life-altering STDs to share".




DancePoet said:
I'm fairly sure I responded to this a few months back, but just for the record, I wasn't talking about sleeping around, then or now. God only knows why folks who've seen me and my comments in DF for months and months would draw such erroneous conclusions and take my statements so far out of context. :?


When I was young and reckless, I did stuff like camp out with my girl buddies on cold winter nights and wait in line for concert tickets. Really fun stories to tell later, and no STDs involved.

Really, folks. Hmm. :?
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
pygmalion said:
Umm... Perhaps I should have included the disclaimer "for me." For me, safe is a curse. No. To be perfectly frank, the first thing I usually decide about a guy is sexual attraction, yes or no. There's nothing safe about that, IMO.
mee too...sad but true
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
pygmalion said:
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I'm fairly sure I responded to this a few months back, but just for the record, I wasn't talking about sleeping around, then or now. God only knows why folks who've seen me and my comments in DF for months and months would draw such erroneous conclusions and take my statements so far out of context. :?


When I was young and reckless, I did stuff like camp out with my girl buddies on cold winter nights and wait in line for concert tickets. Really fun stories to tell later, and no STDs involved.

Really, folks. Hmm. :?
aww c,mon...we all know about your loose moral fiber:rolleyes:
 

DWise1

Well-Known Member
pygmalion said:
Umm... Perhaps I should have included the disclaimer "for me." For me, safe is a curse. No. To be perfectly frank, the first thing I usually decide about a guy is sexual attraction, yes or no. There's nothing safe about that, IMO.
Like Medira, I need to stay out of relationships until I can learn to avoid the unsafe ones. Now you've handed me the key: I'll be the safe guy, so I won't attract any trouble. I'll stay safe by being safe.


Not the long-term solution, but it's where I'm at presently.
 
pygmalion said:
...To be perfectly frank, the first thing I usually decide about a guy is sexual attraction, yes or no. There's nothing safe about that, IMO.
I think most of us are the same, thanks to good old Mother Nature, who fixed it that way so that the species wouldn't die out.

But then the question we've got to ask ourselves (if the sexual attraction is there) is, are we going to act on it or not? :confused:

Safety may or may not come into it, depending on the stage we're at in our lives.

Rosa :)
 

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
pygmalion said:
...To be perfectly frank, the first thing I usually decide about a guy is sexual attraction, yes or no. There's nothing safe about that, IMO.

Rosa said:
I think most of us are the same, thanks to good old Mother Nature, who fixed it that way so that the species wouldn't die out.

But then the question we've got to ask ourselves (if the sexual attraction is there) is, are we going to act on it or not? :confused:

Safety may or may not come into it, depending on the stage we're at in our lives.

Rosa :)
Yep. I think you've hit the nail on the head, Rosa. Pheremones are a reality. If an attractive guy walks into the room, I'm going to notice. (And I wouldn't have it any other way. :wink: )

But I still have the responsibility to choose whether and how I act on any attractions I feel. The vast majority of the time, I don't take any action at all. Some small percentage of the time, I flirt. A smaller percentage of the time, I'll pursue a relationship of some sort. And an even smaller percentage of the time, the relationship will develop into a long-term, committed (and yes, sexual) one.

But that's just me. *Shrug*

I'll have to go back, one of these days, and re-read lynn's original comments that prompted my visceral, "don't go the safe route," remarks. I have no time right now, but maybe later. :cool:
 
pygmalion said:
But I still have the responsibility to choose whether and how I act on any attractions I feel. The vast majority of the time, I don't take any action at all. Some small percentage of the time, I flirt. A smaller percentage of the time, I'll pursue a relationship of some sort. And an even smaller percentage of the time, the relationship will develop into a long-term, committed (and yes, sexual) one.
That's a pattern that a lot of us will recognise...

Rosa :)
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
DWise1 said:
Like Medira, I need to stay out of relationships until I can learn to avoid the unsafe ones. Now you've handed me the key: I'll be the safe guy, so I won't attract any trouble. I'll stay safe by being safe.


Not the long-term solution, but it's where I'm at presently.
this is wisdom...but unsafe also sometimes likes safe.....just be smart
 

Sagitta

Well-Known Member
Medira said:
I'd absolutely love a safe relationship. I'm still a bit hesitant after my last broken heart though, so I'll stick with being terminally single for a while yet.
With every broken relationship a little piece is lost, but at the same time a little new piece has been created as well. We grow and live to have relationships...

Why do we live otherwise? Is the purpose of living simply existential pleasures, eating, sleeping, working...from birth to death?
 

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