If you can't lead it don't dance it

Angel HI

Well-Known Member
very Small Attempt To Get back On Topic

But generally if I do a "charity dance", i.e., as a favor to a friend or because I see someone sitting by herself all night, it almost always turns out badly.
If this happens, it's most often because charity dancers do not really dance for the charity case...they dance for the appearance of being charitable. If we would dance at the level of the intended partner, it will never turn out badly.

And, D'chester, liked the story. Funny.
 
If this happens, it's most often because charity dancers do not really dance for the charity case...they dance for the appearance of being charitable. If we would dance at the level of the intended partner, it will never turn out badly.
And are you saying this applies to me? [starting to growl....] And I get accused of being patronizing?! :mad:
Geez louise!

I'm talking about the charity dances where I get my back muscles shredded because of ballistic auto-eroticism on the part of the follower, or the follower who wants to do her own thing, regardless of my attempts to corral her from running into people or furniture, or the follower that thinks close-embrace means a choke-hold on my neck or using me as a trapeze, or the ballroom champion who arches her upper back up and away from me and auto-poses every ten seconds so I have to dig in with my toes to keep from falling on top of her.

And I always dance to the level of my partner. That way, if I'm dancing with a beginner (who I've seen before and am fairly sure will not inflict any of the bodily harm listed above) , she has a nice time and gets to enjoy herself rather than being yanked through a series of exhibitionist stage moves and subjected to an on-the-dance-floor litany of how she could improve, blah blah.

[grumble]
 

Peaches

Well-Known Member
If this happens, it's most often because charity dancers do not really dance for the charity case...they dance for the appearance of being charitable. If we would dance at the level of the intended partner, it will never turn out badly.
And that's why I won't ask a guy to dance. I don't even want to be thought of as a "charity dance." Don't need/want pity like that; I've got my own set of issues in my head to contend with. I figure if they were interested in dancing with me, they'd have asked.
 

Peaches

Well-Known Member
I'm talking about the charity dances where I get my back muscles shredded because of ballistic auto-eroticism on the part of the follower, or the follower who wants to do her own thing, regardless of my attempts to corral her from running into people or furniture, or the follower that thinks close-embrace means a choke-hold on my neck or using me as a trapeze, or the ballroom champion who arches her upper back up and away from me and auto-poses every ten seconds so I have to dig in with my toes to keep from falling on top of her.
Why not dance in open, with a soft and giving embrace? Seems like it could help mitigate some of those problems.
 

bordertangoman

Well-Known Member
And that's why I won't ask a guy to dance. I don't even want to be thought of as a "charity dance." Don't need/want pity like that; I've got my own set of issues in my head to contend with. I figure if they were interested in dancing with me, they'd have asked.
ouch! sounds like my teaching partner. I will ask a stranger to dance without knowing her ability and I will dance with people I have seen dance and think them attractive dancers and I will dance with favourites and I will dance with friends, That I think is in the nature of chivalry.
 

Peaches

Well-Known Member
ouch! sounds like my teaching partner. I will ask a stranger to dance without knowing her ability and I will dance with people I have seen dance and think them attractive dancers and I will dance with favourites and I will dance with friends, That I think is in the nature of chivalry.
Er...wasn't meant to be ouch-y. Just saying, I don't even want to be thought of as a charity dance. If someone wants to dance with me, YAY! If they don't want to dance with me...well, not yay, and I may be disappointed because I've been curious about them, or disappointed because I'd like to dance with someone really good or whose musicality I've admired...but I don't hold it against them if they don't ask. That's fine.

A few weeks ago I was asked to dance with a guy I'd been admiring for some while. We'd been chatting about other things, and he asked me mid-tanda. It was very nice, and he did me the favor of asking for a second set, which I also enjoyed. Last weekend...he didn't ask me. Disappointed, yes, but it's his perfectly valid choice. I just kinda hope that I'll continue to get better so that at some point he'd like to ask me again. *shrug*
 

dchester

Moderator
Staff member
And that's why I won't ask a guy to dance. I don't even want to be thought of as a "charity dance." Don't need/want pity like that; I've got my own set of issues in my head to contend with. I figure if they were interested in dancing with me, they'd have asked.
Just remember, whenever a guy asks a women to dance who might be better than him, this is what he has to deal with.

FWIW, I'm always flattered when a woman asks me to dance. It actually makes me try a little harder to be a good leader for her.
 

Peaches

Well-Known Member
Just remember, whenever a guy asks a women to dance who might be better than him, this is what he has to deal with.

FWIW, I'm always flattered when a woman asks me to dance. It actually makes me try a little harder to be a good leader for her.
Oh yes, I'm aware of the fundamental hypocrisy of my thinking. It's one of those time when I'll enjoy the little benefits of being a girl. :)
 

bordertangoman

Well-Known Member
Pete & Dud Part II

Can I nick that for my site? It's brilliant...
Pete: well Dud; as a musician, which of the tango orchestras gains your favour.
Dud: For me, the arrangements of Tanturi coupled with the velvety voice of Enrique Campos are the epitome of good dance music. No other singer can convey emotion coupled with a sonorous rendition. Foe me he is the Bing Crosby of the tango world; not just beautiful to the ear but like drinking a really good cup of Espresso. The music has been steamed out under high temperature and the result is rich tasting and dark and smooth. What about you Pete?

Pete: Give me Pugliese every time. He is the Jimi Hendrix of the Bandoneon. He makes the instrument sound like the human voice. a human voice with passion and drama; His rendition of La Yumba captures every other tango song ever played with a bandoneon.

Dud: he was a pianist Pete.

Pete: that makes his genius even more extraordinary. Only someone with such vision could make an instrument he wasnt playing sound so evocative. When I hear Galla Ciego or Negracha I am aroused to a state of passion that is rarely experienced outside cloistered religious institutions.
If Tanturi & Campos are the best coffee of tango, then Pugliese is the Mescaline of tango. When I hear his music it transports to an altered state where I lose myself. I am no longer conscious of there being a me and a partner or that I am in a room full of people; there is only music and movement. I am no longer responsible for my actions when Pugliese is played

Dud: Is that why you bump into so many people then?

Pete: quite possibly, dud, quite possibly
 

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