intimidation

tj

New Member
mambochino said:
Just a couple instructors recommendation for your area. Here are 2 instructors in your area that are great dancers, teach good techniques and pay attention to details.

Washingto DC area - Shaka G. Brown

www.clavekazi.com

In Chicago, I highly recommended Sakou McMiller. I took his workshop in SD at the beginning of the year. Thought I could slack off a lil in the back of the class (his workshop was difficult :p ) and he actually paid attention to me. :oops:

http://411.salsafrenzy.com/Sekou
Ooo! I like him, too. He was teaching in Seattle this past summer.
 
squirrel said:
On Thursday I was refused by one of my students! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

I was like "Why????" and he said "Because you're my instructor and you intimidate me... I don't even remember basic patterns when dancing with you!" and he's one of my best students!!! I was like :?: :?: :?: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: WHAT? Yes... and I was even dressed up decently, so it's not my charm :wink: :wink: :wink: !!!

Gosh... :evil: :evil:
I dont understand how someone could feel this way. My instructors are my favorite partners. Especially my coach. I love dancing with him and he always has a way of making me forget that I should be worrying about footwork and technique- with him I can just dance. Whenever we dance it kinda has the feel like if we were just out dancing in a club or something. Its defenitley like a game esp. in mambo or chacha- its like a constant challenge- he always tries stuff that he thinks will mess me up but hes never successful with that- im a good follower :D , so we always have this "look what i can do , can you do that" thing going on. However, I will admit that when i had just started out for the first year I got somewhat intimidated/ nervous- but never enough to make me refuse a dance.
 

Sagitta

Well-Known Member
ratherbdancing said:
squirrel said:
On Thursday I was refused by one of my students! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

I was like "Why????" and he said "Because you're my instructor and you intimidate me... I don't even remember basic patterns when dancing with you!" and he's one of my best students!!!
I dont understand how someone could feel this way. My instructors are my favorite partners. Especially my coach. I love dancing with him and he always has a way of making me forget that I should be worrying about footwork and technique- with him I can just dance. Whenever we dance it kinda has the feel like if we were just out dancing in a club or something. [ ] However, I will admit that when i had just started out for the first year I got somewhat intimidated/ nervous- but never enough to make me refuse a dance.
Perhaps it is different between a follower and a leader dancing with their teacher.
 

tj

New Member
ratherbdancing said:
I dont understand how someone could feel this way. My instructors are my favorite partners. Especially my coach. I love dancing with him and he always has a way of making me forget that I should be worrying about footwork and technique- with him I can just dance.
You've pretty much summed it up as to why sometimes, it's no fun to dance with an instructor who's a follower.

Sometimes, when you dance with a follow who teaches, it feels more like a judgement of your footwork and technique rather than just enjoying the dance.

Of course, not all of them are like that, but there are enough times that it happens that you'd rather avoid dancing with someone who's too picky/fussy.
 
sanityhaven, modesty is the quality of those who have no other quality! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Really, I am not judging him and I like him and wanted to dance with him! He's a very fast learner and a good lead... but intimidated! And I am not so gorgeously looking to leave them breathless (really now! I know how I look!) so they have NO REASON to fell intimidated...! And I don't volunteer to teach while I dance! No way! :evil:
 

MacMoto

Active Member
squirrel said:
Really, I am not judging him and I like him and wanted to dance with him! He's a very fast learner and a good lead... but intimidated! And I am not so gorgeously looking to leave them breathless (really now! I know how I look!) so they have NO REASON to fell intimidated...!
Yeah it's all in his head, it's difficult for you to do anything about it and that's why it's so frustrating. Did you tell him these things at the time -- that you think he's a good lead and enjoy dancing with him? Keep telling him. Some guys need a lot of convincing!
 
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: sure I do!

And you don't know Romanian girls! They're so beautiful! If you ever come to Romania you'd like to move here! It has happened before...! :twisted:
 
squirrel said:
sanityhaven, modesty is the quality of those who have no other quality!
That'd make a great signature. I'll have to remember that quote. :D

Speaking from a beginner lead's point of view, I have mixed feelings about dancing with my instructor. On one hand if I feel confident about the steps/technique I've learned, I love dancing with her. On the other hand, if I'm still struggling with the steps or technique then become nervous and timid when dancing with her.

She's a great instructor and in my mind it feels like I'm letting her down if I’m not able to dance what she’s taught me.
 
Sagitta said:
ratherbdancing said:
squirrel said:
On Thursday I was refused by one of my students! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

I was like "Why????" and he said "Because you're my instructor and you intimidate me... I don't even remember basic patterns when dancing with you!" and he's one of my best students!!!
I dont understand how someone could feel this way. My instructors are my favorite partners. Especially my coach. I love dancing with him and he always has a way of making me forget that I should be worrying about footwork and technique- with him I can just dance. Whenever we dance it kinda has the feel like if we were just out dancing in a club or something. [ ] However, I will admit that when i had just started out for the first year I got somewhat intimidated/ nervous- but never enough to make me refuse a dance.
Perhaps it is different between a follower and a leader dancing with their teacher.
I would dance with any instructor asking me.
And there would be no pressure on me.
Because they asked for it!
I can relax, and just dance.

Me asking a super instructor is different.
I will have a pressure on me, to deliver something.
I won’t ask somebody I think I will bore with my dance.
Asking is like telling myself and the instructor I’m good.
And I might start with some nerves, and constantly
evaluating my self and notice my faults.

I had the same situation as a beginner, with the skilled salseras.
If they asked I could say yes, and be off the hook at the same time.

Don’t know if this gives any meaning to you?
 
Whats interesting is that at my studio, the male instructors dance basically every day whereas the female instructors rarely dance at all. When they do dance, its typically a advanced student of theirs that asked. I think that restrain themselves from asking because we have more girls then guys and so they dont want to hog all of the guys. But, the newer guys are often too intimidated to ask.
 
squirrel said:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: sure I do!

And you don't know Romanian girls! They're so beautiful! If you ever come to Romania you'd like to move here! It has happened before...! :twisted:
prove it! :twisted:
show some bikini photos :roll: :lol:
 

MacMoto

Active Member
Danish Guy said:
Me asking a super instructor is different.
I will have a pressure on me, to deliver something.
I won’t ask somebody I think I will bore with my dance.
Asking is like telling myself and the instructor I’m good.
And I might start with some nerves, and constantly
evaluating my self and notice my faults.

I had the same situation as a beginner, with the skilled salseras.
If they asked I could say yes, and be off the hook at the same time.

Don’t know if this gives any meaning to you?
I know what you mean, I feel the same way about dancing with "super instructors" local, national or international, especially when I feel I'm dancing worse than usual.

Having said that, I refuse to be intimidated or feel under pressure to deliver -- I just try to dance my best, like any other time.

I dance with any and all salseros, from beginners to advanced guys, some dances are great and memorable, some are pretty dire :oops:, but that's how you learn to dance better, and I don't see why I should shun instructors just because they are instructors.

Also, I think when instructors come to social dances they come to dance, just like us ordinary dancers. We all get good and bad dances during a night of dancing, we expect it to be like that, instructors must have been around long enough to expect it too, and if I turn out to be one of the bad ones, so be it. One bad dance doesn't turn a night into a disappointment, not getting enough dances does.
 
Squirrel- I was pretty intimidated by my teacher because he didn't dance with me like a beginning follow. It totally threw me off every time. I had no idea of the steps and he was writhing all over the place. It happened to most of my friends(who were beginners at the time) who danced with him, too. Instructors have to be careful not to overdo it when dancing with newbies who no only don't know the dance but who are not yet confident with it. I also have intimidated some guys, so they have said, but they seemed to be enjoying the struggle. :wink: .
 
But he has never danced with me before! Only once, when I dragged him on the dance floor! And he did only the basic then too! And I never show off wiht beginners... and he's no begginer! He's one of the most advanced guys in my school!
 

Sagitta

Well-Known Member
squirrel said:
But he has never danced with me before! Only once, when I dragged him on the dance floor! And he did only the basic then too! And I never show off wiht beginners... and he's no begginer! He's one of the most advanced guys in my school!
I thought you liked moves? So, you still want to dance with him with only the basic?...hmmm...I wonder what's going on? :wink:
 

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