Jealous of SOdance partners

Hi, so I have a girlfriend who's been dancing for a year and she recently started choreographing a ballroom routine with a beginner guy. As advanced dancers you can separate dancing with romance pretty well but I'm suspicious that guys who just started won't get that distinction, and I'm afraid the guy might just be using this as a way to get closer to my gf.. Is this an irrational fear? I hear a lot of "dancing is different from romance" comments from either follows or other advanced dancers, but I feel like the rule doesn't apply to single guys who just started dancing?


Well-Known Member
In the end the real issue isn't the dancing, it's whether or not you can trust your girlfriend. Any number of guys can do any number of things to try to get close to her, on the dance floor or off. The question is how will she react?

I do agree beginners may be more likely to confuse these sorts of issues when they come up in early dance experiences. Your girlfriend, and other dancers, can help set appropriate expectations and boundaries for this newbie and other newbies along the way. There certainly can be a learning curve for this with some new dancers.

Can you simply discuss this with her in a straightforward, rational way? Let her know your concerns about the other guy (and perhaps any new guys in the dance scene??), and ask how she plans to handle the issue if it comes up. She may be way ahead of you on this, and already have a plan in place. You won't know unless you talk about it. Hopefully talking about it openly will help ease your fears.
One thing is for sure, dancing can help us to work through some of the feelings we have about relationships with others. I think raindance gave an excellent reply. I hope that this challenge you are facing will only help you too improve. Of course we can't always control other people but we can learn so much from situations that we encounter in life.


Well-Known Member
If your GF is choreographing a routine after dancing only a year, then she must be pursuing a dance teaching path. Unless she's much above average in picking this up.

If she's going to be a dance teacher, you'll need to get used to her dancing with other guys a lot.


Well-Known Member
...have a girlfriend who's been dancing for a year and she ..started choreographing ...with a beginner guy.... I'm suspicious that guys who just started won't get that distinction.....
Why are you concerned about that guy, Color? Your GF is a beginner as well, and she will be a beginner for 3 years, professional or not. It takes years to understand the underlying hidden rules of our communities.


Well-Known Member
IME, worrying about a relationship has never accomplished anything. If she stays, she stays and if she strays, she strays.

Be the best person you can be, and leave the rest to God, karma, or Whatever.

If your jealousy becomes a burden, change your thinking or get the heck out. You'll sleep better and drink less.


Site Moderator
Staff member
much of life is about deciding whether or not someone is worth what they could cost you if they don't feel the same or similarly....and that is a pretty futile thing to try to figure out....what you have to do is say " can I let them be free and survive whatever happens?" and "do they mean enough to me to let go of my fears?"...because the quickest way to poison a relationship is to have it become an inquisition

Dance Ads