Just joined dancing classes, need advice

[dawidc]

Hi!

My name is Dawid, I'm 18 years old. I just joined local dancing classes for singles. Now, the problem is that I'm the youngest person there. While I think that looking into woman eyes is important, it just feels weird when everyone is older than me, especially when they are not much older (3-4 year difference) but I find them attractive. Now I want to ask whether I should look them in the eyes from time to time or not? Thanks for the advice!

 

[opendoor]

Hi Dawid, welcome to DF !

..want to ask whether I should look them in the eyes from time to time..

And it gets worse: look as much and always try to smile !

Sorting your legs, and coordinating the body really is a hard thing. So the leader´s face often is tense and screwed. Dancing should be fun. And if not, it should at least look that way.

During lessons and classes, looking in the eyes only is a ritual, a role-playing game. It´s not flirting. Age should not matter. Anything exciting will pass as soon as the movements get more complex. But nonetheless a dance class is a place for gender learning. You can benefit and learn easygoing communication.

 

[dawidc]

I love the part about easygoing communication. I'm actually scared as s**t when it comes to talking to girls. I'm still surprised that I joined these classes. I guess it just feels so weird dancing with someone who is really attractive to you but you can't do anything, but I hope I will get used to it. By the way, I found this forum very useful, so thanks for all your help.

 

[cornutt]

I was you at that age. One of the interesting things about partner dancing is that it's a limited subset of normal human interactions; everybody is there for the specific purpose of dancing. When you ask a woman for a dance (or she asks you), there is not a lot of latitude for misunderstanding each other's meaning. The set of social rules in this environment is small and easily mastered. Thus, it's a perfect activity for us socially awkward people, in which we get to have contact with members of the opposite sex, without anything getting weird (usually). People who want to play games or make it complicated don't usually last long. Just remember: Because a woman agrees to dance with you, that does not mean that she agrees to anything beyond dancing.

Actually, once you start picking up some proper technique, you'll find that a lot of the time, if you and your partner's heads are where they are supposed to be, you won't be looking directly at each other's faces.

 

[DanceMentor]

I love the part about easygoing communication. I'm actually scared as s**t when it comes to talking to girls. I'm still surprised that I joined these classes. I guess it just feels so weird dancing with someone who is really attractive to you but you can't do anything, but I hope I will get used to it. By the way, I found this forum very useful, so thanks for all your help.

I was the same way as you. It sounds like you are doing fine, and I’m sure it will get better and better for you.

 

[tangomaniac]

Hi!

My name is Dawid, I'm 18 years old. Now I want to ask whether I should look them in the eyes from time to time or not?

For the smooth dances (Fox Trot, Waltz, Tango, etc.) you're looking over her right shoulder and she's looking over your right shoulder so you can't make eye contact. It's different for Latin because you directly face her. As long as you don't lose your focus, it's OK to look the woman in the eyes unless it makes her uncomfortable.