Letting go...

#81
Maybe the alter-ego thing would be a good idea for me... Although usually I just imagine what one of my instructors would do, and try to replicate what that would be as best as I can. I usually don't actually succeed in looking sexy at all (just watched some videos - ouch!) but at least you can tell I'm trying, which at my level (beginner!) seems to be good enough. And I figure, if I work long enough at pretending to be confident and sexy, eventually, with enough practice (as everyone else has been saying) it'll come true!
I can't pretend to do anything with my instructor, because he knows me to well. Most of the time he's like who are you trying to fool? I must say though it probably is because of his experience, but he almost has a woman's intuition as how I like to call it lol with how he can see through people lol. I do try the acting thing, but he knows me. But he'll allow me to pull that off though during group lessons and things like that, because he knows who I feel uncomfortable with, and only they don't know it. Not during our privates though. No way lol!
 

anp73ga31

Active Member
#82
I may not be great, but there are enough couples below me looking even sillier that it makes me feel better :) (possibly uncharitable thoughts, but true!) And I can think about how much better I look than I used to!
Ha ha! They may be uncharitable thoughts(and this may belong in the confessions thread) but I think them too! Its the most helpful thing to think when doing a showcase...takes some of the pressure off knowing that at least half, if not more, of the people have done worse than you. Sounds bad, but its true! ;)
 
#83
letting go

This is still big question mark for me.I'll try again::-( What are you suppose to let go of?And why,why are we scared to let go,relax,so what if you enjoy the dance.;)

What will happen if you let go,is it so bad?:confused: I mean i don't dance with every men the same way,they have different style,some i don't like cos it's like being glued to someone,some like grinding as well but not me.:-(
 

samina

Well-Known Member
#84
some people are just wired to be more retentive with their creative or emotional energy.

i can relate to peach's issue. i am like that. not on the surface, but appearances can be deceiving.

learning how to let go has been a journey for me, as well. still learning, but am far from where i started...

i never danced til a little over a year ago beCAUSE i never felt comfortable on the dance floor -- didn't know what to do & didn't know how to let go. just the way i'm wired... in other ways, things flow very well.

the good news... it's learnable. trust, self-comfort, learning how to re-wire one's nervous system to engage in new types of movement... all that good stuff.
 

Peaches

Well-Known Member
#85
This is still big question mark for me.I'll try again::-( What are you suppose to let go of?And why,why are we scared to let go,relax,so what if you enjoy the dance.;)

What will happen if you let go,is it so bad?:confused: I mean i don't dance with every men the same way,they have different style,some i don't like cos it's like being glued to someone,some like grinding as well but not me.:-(
Sorry, I could have sworn I answered this already.

Letting go of inhibitions. Being "in the moment" instead of going through the motions and always having a corner of my brain being reserved for sitting back and watching and analyzing and criticising. Letting go of fear--of losing control, of looking stupid, of screwing up.

The logical part of me says nothing will happen if I "let go." The non-logical part, which tends to win out, says it doesn't know what will happen an doesn't want to find out.

If it's not a fear that you, personally, have, I don't know how else I can explain it to you. It's not a matter of dancing close or not--I dance plenty close with plenty of guys, not so with others. I dance close embrace AT, and there are a couple of guys who, when we dance merengue or salsa, it looks a lot like grinding. I'm fine with that. It's an internal thing.

If you don't recognize it, and have never felt that kind of shyness or reticence, I don't know that I can describe it for you.
 

Sagitta

Well-Known Member
#86
learning how to let go has been a journey for me, as well. still learning, but am far from where i started...

i never danced til a little over a year ago beCAUSE i never felt comfortable on the dance floor -- didn't know what to do & didn't know how to let go. just the way i'm wired... in other ways, things flow very well.
a dancing newbie....oh...those first days... ;-)
 

Peaches

Well-Known Member
#88
I recommend that you watch Marcia Rock's "Surrender Tango."
If nothing else it will inspire you (to let go).
I'm still debating this. It sounds great.

I've just got some real issues with the idea of "surrendering" anything. It's just a knee-jerk, gut reaction to the word. Stupid, I know, but there you have it.

Besides, surrendering seems just as intimidating as "letting go."

Maybe I'll find something else to inspire me.
 

latingal

Well-Known Member
#90
This is still big question mark for me.I'll try again::-( What are you suppose to let go of?
hi salsa es mi vida...actually tried to answer this for you in a post, pages and pages ago...in my experience many dancers need to let go of the FEAR of something (see post, pages and pages ago).

You may be one of the lucky few that is not afraid of anything in dance, but many of us need to conciously let go...
 
#92
awe

Ok. I had a friend who always looked down. Always. Didn't matter with whom she danced with. Now she looks up for some time every dance. I teased her mercilessly, nicely..., pretended to cry..."Am I so ugly?" "what am I dong wrong?"...on and on I went every dance...if I was near her and she was looking down when dancing with someone...a tap on the shoulder.. ;-) 4 dance nights as I don't dance a lot with any particular person at one night is all it took.

I absolutely disagree that someone can't convince another to let go. I can facilitate it. A good dancer always cares about the person that he/she dances with and helps her/him have the best possible dance they can. Why my example maybe a little over the top, I would consider myself an awful dancer if I couldn't help make a person feel more comfortable and facilitate self-expression. Whether it is slowing down by 50% for a lady who cannot move fast, adding tricks for those who like them, flirting the right way to encourage a person to respond... :)
What a nice dance partner you are! We should hand copies of your post out to all the social dance venues...

Because it is sad but true...a teacher or partner, side line critic, or the internal critic living in our head can really psych out even the most devoted and long-suffering dancer...
It is such a breath of fresh air when someone is considerate:) and thoughtful. This dancing stuff is highly personal and..well...a little kindness and encouragement go a long way!:friend:
 

Peaches

Well-Known Member
#94
Letting go. :shock: Well. The day I let go, they'll have a parade with seventy six bloody trombones.

T_E
LOL!!! You and me both, chica!

One of my teachers has, on several occasions, threatened to get me tipsy. He knows that I'm a lot less uptight when I'm not sober. (The dangers of hanging out and drinking with your teacher...it gives them ammo for later!)
 

Peaches

Well-Known Member
#98
a glass of wine has saved many a lesson...two can send it into a place of despair...a fine line to walk
Sounds like I need to do some experimenting!

I know that a large margarita on an empty stomach before a lesson is not good. Makes vw interesting, though.
 

mamboqueen

Well-Known Member
#99
I let go this weekend. After two glasses of wine, I think I was actually grinding. :shock: I was a little mortified at first, but boy, after a few minutes, I got to liking it!
 

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