Life is Hard Thread

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
yep...I remember a time when my son and a classmate got into trouble in elementary school for what was described as inappropriate language toward some young ladies on the playground....the other boy's mom called me outraged that the boys were questioned separately and bemoaned how the principal was making a mountain out of a molehill and my response was essentially " Lady, this is why your son is going to return to the principals' office and mine isn't....my kid got a lecture from me about how just because a girl laughs at what you said doesn't mean that you didn't make her feel uncomfortable, and doesn't mean that it was appropriate....my son got grilled about whether or not he would want boys treating his little sister like that, and my son got assurances that if something like that ever happened again, his life as he knew it would cease to exist....it doesn't matter how the boys were interviewed...they were idiots...end story...hold your son accountable or massage your own ego now and be prepared for more of the same in the future, your choice"...she was not amused....my son never returned to the principal's office
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
this is also why I am so proud of my daughter, a 7th grade English teacher, who is TODAY staying after school holding kids in detention for plagiarizing ....I can't help but think that if folks do their job early on and note what a serious offense it is, you wouldn't have kids claiming to be shocked that it was such a big deal later on....yes, it is sad that the kid lost a great opportunity, but, this is also an opportunity for him to become a much better person....

I remember when our son went to Africa and ended up getting the cart before the horse in giving us a grandchild....he felt that his life was ruined, he felt ashamed and trapped and terrified.....and it was a tough road to rise to navigate that decision ....5 years later, he is a much better person for having to figure out how to persevere and be responsible and put someone ahead of himself....

so, my compassion goes out to that young adult, but my hope is that he will rise from it, not allow it to become an excuse.....it is still a tragedy....hard to see youth make mistakes that will make their lives harder
 

Cal

Well-Known Member
Yes, good for the university, and a hard lesson for the student. I hope that he has second-choice opportunities elsewhere. I also hope that the lesson he learns is that cheating is a big deal, not that the teacher who caught it is a jerk who ruined his life. The latter reasoning is very common and in my experience tends to be related to whether a students' parents subscribe to it.
The high school he attends is a private academy run by monks, and it has an honor code. I suspect that the young man is quite lucky that he wasn't dismissed from the school on the spot. But I'm not close enough to the family to know all those details.
 

stash

Well-Known Member
I know at my private catholic high school they gave one girl several chances after plagiarizing on papers before dismissing her, and gave her ample warnings. Sometimes private institutions believe in second chances, but definitely don't appreciate being pushed over and over again.
 

Loki

Well-Known Member
Wasn't quite sure where this belonged... nothing bad actually happened, but it seemed a bit drastic for the whining thead. An airplane I was aboard last night was hit by lightning, on approach to Phoenix. I think it hit outside my window. I saw a flash and a few glowing spots, and heard a noise like a gunshot. Oddly, the crew never said a word about it. I didn't notice anything obviously wrong afterwards. We did land very fast, but that might have been due to winds.
Lightning strikes are supposedly common although I've never experienced one myself.

The thing that would freak me is all the airliners now are fly-by-wire and I hesitate to think what 80000 volts could do to a microprocessor.
 

Loki

Well-Known Member
The university pulled the offer. It's a huge blow to the family; and what a hard, hard lesson for the young man to learn.
Too many athletes - high school, college and pro - seem to think rules don't apply to them. Not saying this is a bad kid, but I'm glad to hear some schools are actually taking a hardline stance against dishonesty.

A hard lesson indeed, but maybe it saved him worse heartache down the road.
 

stash

Well-Known Member
One of my high school's beloved teachers passed away early this morning after battling late stage colon cancer for about a year and a half. Coming from such a small school (my graduating class being one of the largest at 85 girls) are mourning his loss even if we didn't have him as a teach, like myself. Facebook has become a tribute to the great work that he did on our campus.
 

3wishes

Well-Known Member
Up the street from my house, at 7 a.m., yet another person stood on the railroad tracks with purpose to end his life by commuter train. Those of us who live nearby, know exactly what happens and how the neighborhood should sound, vs. when something as drastic as this happens. Prayers for this soul and the train engineer.
 

FancyFeet

Well-Known Member
Sometimes, people suck. The last week or so has been full of misunderstandings and hurt feelings and tough conversations - at work, dance, and home - and I thought that they had culminated in me spending a rather emotional hour with my psychologist yesterday... but no, it continues today. I'm so tired of having to work so hard to be understood, and of having people take such offense to things that have NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM. Sadly, I have not mastered the art of hardening myself to the reactions of people that I care about :(
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
A) you realize that you can never make someone else behave and treat you well?
B) are you spending as much time thinking about the people in your life who aren't asspains? because re-training your thought choices is a good first step
C) you don't have to become hardened, you just have to ask yourself why you have given so much power and care to people who aren't returning the favor...and accept that you cannot change that by talking more about it...
D) I am sorry and it sucks...hug
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
people are limited...that they cannot love and accept you as they should doesn't mean that you need to fix it or them...you can only take an honest look at yourself and fix anything internally that you think has merit...and then stand in your own truth...and let the rest go....let them be broken in whatever way that they are broken....if you have tried conversing then you know it may well be futile...if you haven't tried, you give it your best shot and then you accept that they may not be able to be with you on those issues....and the sooner you accept, the less tortured you will be and the sooner you can decide what YOU need to do to make the situation bearable for YOU
 
The high school he attends is a private academy run by monks, and it has an honor code. I suspect that the young man is quite lucky that he wasn't dismissed from the school on the spot. But I'm not close enough to the family to know all those details.
Catholics are strong believers in forgiveness?

ETA: I took the odds-on bet that "monks" in the Midwest would be Catholic, although after writing I realize it's possible they're not Catholic monks.
 

SwingingAlong

Well-Known Member
Sometimes, people stink. The last week or so has been full of misunderstandings and hurt feelings and tough conversations - at work, dance, and home - and I thought that they had culminated in me spending a rather emotional hour with my psychologist yesterday... but no, it continues today. I'm so tired of having to work so hard to be understood, and of having people take such offense to things that have NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM. Sadly, I have not mastered the art of hardening myself to the reactions of people that I care about :(
I read this and it sounded so familiar, i simply could not respond at the time. For many years, I simply stayed away if I felt that a situation would lead to misunderstandings/screaming matches, and slowly built strength to be who I needed to be. I have learned that I need a LOT of time alone, and that dance and being an artist are amazing tools to positively resolve negative energy. I have learned, when I am around a volatile situation, that I am able to help the small people in my family when they come up against the same issues, by holding out my hand, taking them aside, and simply holding them close, so they know they are loved, and give them a moment to understand that I am acknowledging them as they are, in the moment, right now. And once they have regained their equilibrium, I might spend some time sharing something that they value, like reading them a story, or drawing with them, or watching the animals. It is difficult (in my case) seeing my own mother in tears, because her OWN mother was in a destructive mood........ instead of being hardened, I have become more sensitive, but learned how to help a bit because of that sensitivity. I find I use the same sensitivity in work situations, and I managed to help a co-worker who was on the verge of walking off the job. So as Fasc said, here is a hug, as well as sympathy and understanding should you need some more to get you through.
 

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