Movies NOT to watch


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I actually enjoyed Battle: LA as a pure popcorn flick. If you enjoy the Transformers films, you should enjoy it.

Larinda McRaven

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Staff member
Melancholia... I am on a bad roll here.

I was about to just turn it off and take it back to redbox, until Kirsten Dunst leaves her wedding reception, drives a golf cart out in the middle of the darkness to take a pee in her wedding dress on the course. I figured I would give it half a chance just because of that scene.

It did not get any better.


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Add I Love You Beth Cooper to the list of bad movies. It's from 2009, and starred Hayden Paniettiere and Paul Rust. My gym, Urban Active, plays different movies every day in their cardio theater, which is how I ended up seeing this one.


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I saw Magic Mike over the weekend. Don't waste your money, it isn't worth it. The movie stars Channing Tatum (GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra, Step Up and Dear John), Matthew McConaughey (We Are Marshall, Sahara, Fool's Gold, The Wedding Planner, and Failure to Launch), Matt Bomer (White Collar), Joe Mangenello (True Blood), and Adam Rodriguez (CSI: Miami), among others. While you can see that Channing Tatum channelled his prior work experience as a stripper in a nightclub for this movie, his "dance" scenes aren't worth sitting through this dismal movie.

Also, add the 1995 movie Showgirls, starring Elizabeth Berkley, to the list of bad movies.
Carnage. it is the screen adaptation of the play god of Carnage with Jody Foster. cant say the whole movie was awful cause i fell asleep about 1/2 of the way thru but i doubt it got any better.


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To be perfectly honest, I don't really like any of the Step Up movies. The first one was okay, but it's something I'd only watch once.


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Probably one of the worst movies I remember sitting through was Assasination Tango, a 2002 crime movie starring Robert Duvall. Another bad movie was Ghost Riders, the 2007 movie starring Nicholas Cage.
Now, see, I tolerate Ghost Rider because, well, it's Marvel, and I liked "Assassination Tango", despite the non-ending. (Robert Duvall is good in anything.)

Meanwhile, pretty much any live-action movie based on DC comics is crap. Yes, I am including Nolan's stuff. Sorry, I got bored and stopped paying attention to "Batman Begins" and fell asleep during "The Dark Knight." (Face it, he got the Oscar because he was dead and it was their last chance.) Okay, maybe the first Christopher Reeve "Superman" wasn't bad, but the only possible reason to sit through Superman Returns is listening for all the times they worked in John Williams's music cues from the original.

Almost any "serious" movie these days. Likewise almost any American rom-com.

The one movie so bad I not only couldn't watch it again, but when I tried to sell it back to the comics store where I got it in the first place that was the only one in the pile they wouldn't take: "Van Helsing". Not even Hugh Jackman in leather trousers could salvage that.

Speaking of him, for such an attractive man, he also stared in another un-rewatchable one on my list, "Australia". I swear, that movie never ends.

Of course, I am not a HUGE movie-goer. I think the last two films I saw in theaters (and was excited about going to see) were "The Hunger Games" (mercifully good, except the nausea-inducing shakey-cam) and "Star Trek" (which I went into half-dreading and came out a convert.) I kind of have to be prodded into watching things.


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Many years ago I was convinced by a date to take her to see I'm Dancing As Fast as I Can. My recollection is that it was basically 110 minutes' worth of screaming. When we left the theater, my ears were ringing like I'd been to a Ted Nugent concert.

Phil Owl

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Blue Velvet
ANYTHING by Quentin Tarentino, period (talentless hack who just got lucky IMHO)
ANYTHING with Keanu Reeves, Lucy Liu
Mariah Carey's "Glitter"
The Star Wars prequels (utter rubbish)
ANY remake or film based on a TV show.


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I can echo a few don't-sees: Magic Mike (it was just weird, like someone shooting a bad documentary with a good cellphone), Battleship (it DID have its moments, but they were too few to pay for), The second GI Joe because blech, The fourth Step up, StreetDance 2 (the guy is holding his fork wrong in the pepper eating dinner with daddy's girl and father scene which infuriates me), Stick It, The Proposal, BURLESQUE OMGWTSF, Any subsequent Cutting Edges, You Got Serveds, or Highlanders- oh, or Bring It Ons. Phantom of the Opera 2: True Perverted Stalking Love Never Dies, too.

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