Online Dating-Your Experiences, Thoughs Etc (or-AM I NUTS?)

tsb

Well-Known Member
DancePoet said:
tsb said:
DancePoet said:
tsb said:
DancePoet said:
tsb said:
africana said:
wow great info guys!
Artsy I guess you discovered online the things we struggle with in everyday life - i.e. difficulties of interracial connections <sigh> i had always wondered why the eharmony.com tv commercials always only had same-race matches...it's sad
if you want sad - note that in any interracial relationship depicted on american media between an asian & a caucasian - the male is always caucasian. god help us if white men feel threatened by imagining that asian men can attract white women! :roll: as it is, if i notice any commercial that does that i tend to boycott their product.

but from my avatar you can see that i'm doing all right! :ladiesma:
Interesting observation. Seemingly, nice tastes, too. ;)
i'm still dancing with 'the babe' too, btw.
I'm sure you are. ;) How about the woman on the left ... is she taken? ;)

( :shock: DP, aren't you seeing someone now?)

Yes, and very happily. I'm just chit chatting with tsb. :D
allyson is allegedly still with her high school sweetheart but i've never met him as he doesn't dance. mary (the one with her hand on my shoulder) on the other hand, kept playing this bill cosby "come 'ere-come 'ere-come'ere oh getaway-getaway-getaway " for about a month after we did the gilmore girls episode.
So Allyson is just as off limits as I am. :)

And so are you and Mary are seeing eachother?
i gave up after that month of feeling like a yoyo - plus i met 'the babe' shortly thereafter...
 

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
By the way, I noticed at the bookstore yesterday that the e-Harmony founder has written a relationship how-to book. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to even skim it. Has anyone here read it? Thoughts?
 
pygmalion said:
By the way, I noticed at the bookstore yesterday that the e-Harmony founder has written a relationship how-to book. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to even skim it. Has anyone here read it? Thoughts?
Are you talking about the one with the light blue cover that is based on the e-hamony website ? I read it and thought it was insightful. Some good general advice.
 

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
That's probably the one. I remember a book jacket that reminded me of clouds, so light blue is probably right. And there's a picture of the eHarmony guy on the front cover.

Hmm... I'll have to skim through when I go back to Borders. 8) Thanks for the recommendation. :D
 
Now that I've finished reading all 13 pages on this thread (due to being a serious IRU :roll: ), I will post my on-line dating experience.

My comupter and I hadn't know eachother until early 2000s, so I've always been a tech dodo, until the morning after my salsa mentor/ex officially broke up with me (after a saga spanning over a decade). My friend at work showed me how to use MSN chat.

It wasn't until six mths later when I've decided that I needed to at least practice my social skills, dating or otherwise. Around that time, I accidentally opened an MSN on-line dating link (next to my hotmail), and got curious :wink: .

Then I realised that browsing would take me my entire life time, so I set up my profile & discovered the advanced search function to filter the numbers down somewhat. I've ended up meeting a bunch of nice (but non-clicking) people, and developed my filtering skills, too.

My healing process begun when I started telling the potetial candidates who I am, where I've been, and what makes me the person I am today. You know, as you do to new people who come into your life. Putting things in writing somehow help sorted things out within me.

Then I realised that as I got more involved in the salsa scene, I ended up meeting salsa-related people instead, so I gave up the on-line thing.

One thing I've tested though, was whether people can click with eachother without the (initial) visual factor. I personally tested this theory out of curiocity.....

I purposly did not post a picture, because I did not want someone to be attracted to a picture of me. They need to want to know the person first. Instantly, that filtered out a lot of people don't seem to want to make contact unless they know you're attracitve :roll: ........

Then, I found out something (about myself) I didn't expect. While attraction isn't (and shouldn't) be a deciding factor, a total lack of attraction doesn't work either :shock: ..........

Because I have enjoyed the writing/conversing process so much, I have decided to join DF instead, where I could just share ideas & experiences without the dating context 8) . I resolved to just meeting people out there randomly instead (by this time I was meeting way too many people via salsa to have any spare time).

*Interestingly, without the dating context, I felt that I could post pictures, so all you DFers out there could ask me for a dance when *the plan* finally gets put into action :wink: !*
 

DancePoet

Well-Known Member
dancin_feet said:
DancePoet said:
MacMoto said:
DancePoet said:
( :shock: DP, aren't you seeing someone now?)

Yes, and very happily.
That's good to hear. :wink:
Thanks MacMoto! :D

It is very early, we shall see.
That's great to know. Mine's in the very early stages too, so we'll both see, shall we? :wink:
Wow! MacMoto's taken, and D_f and I are both on a new exploration, too.

It's sad leaving behind the imagination, yet sweet knowing all of us are having fun. :D
 

Phil Owl

Well-Known Member
Thought I'd check back in on me thread, MAN I didn't expect it to take ona life of its own like this! :lol:

But anyhoo, glad to report that through match.com, I've met a very wonderful lady, been dating a little over a month now. :D
 

DancePoet

Well-Known Member
tsb said:
DancePoet said:
tsb said:
DancePoet said:
tsb said:
DancePoet said:
tsb said:
africana said:
wow great info guys!
Artsy I guess you discovered online the things we struggle with in everyday life - i.e. difficulties of interracial connections <sigh> i had always wondered why the eharmony.com tv commercials always only had same-race matches...it's sad
if you want sad - note that in any interracial relationship depicted on american media between an asian & a caucasian - the male is always caucasian. god help us if white men feel threatened by imagining that asian men can attract white women! :roll: as it is, if i notice any commercial that does that i tend to boycott their product.

but from my avatar you can see that i'm doing all right! :ladiesma:
Interesting observation. Seemingly, nice tastes, too. ;)
i'm still dancing with 'the babe' too, btw.
I'm sure you are. ;) How about the woman on the left ... is she taken? ;)

( :shock: DP, aren't you seeing someone now?)

Yes, and very happily. I'm just chit chatting with tsb. :D
allyson is allegedly still with her high school sweetheart but i've never met him as he doesn't dance. mary (the one with her hand on my shoulder) on the other hand, kept playing this bill cosby "come 'ere-come 'ere-come'ere oh getaway-getaway-getaway " for about a month after we did the gilmore girls episode.
So Allyson is just as off limits as I am. :)

And so are you and Mary are seeing eachother?
i gave up after that month of feeling like a yoyo - plus i met 'the babe' shortly thereafter...
Ah, yes, I recall, and so how are things going with her?
 

DancePoet

Well-Known Member
Phil Owl said:
Thought I'd check back in on me thread, MAN I didn't expect it to take ona life of its own like this! :lol:

But anyhoo, glad to report that through match.com, I've met a very wonderful lady, been dating a little over a month now. :D
Congrats Phil Owl! :cheers:

It's Spring and love is sprouting up everywhere. ;) :lol:
 

tsb

Well-Known Member
DancePoet said:
Ah, yes, I recall, and so how are things going with her?
we were both coming off getting dumped over the holidays & once that wore off it became clear that while we click on the floor we have some major philosophical differences so it's become a comfortable platonic thing - if we agree to meet somewhere & while we're there we meet somebody we want to connect with, we discreetly exchange contact info explaining that we're each other's partner for the evening & arrange to do get together at another time. it works for me - if either of us gets serious about anyone who dances we probably won't be dancing weekly but it's a nice fallback to have for now.

it occurs to me that we'd make a decent dance partnership if i was inclined to compete - when we see moves we don't know, we can generally work out the technical details & make it happen between us with no bickering whatsoever.
 
I've dated maybe 3-4 women I met through single sites, and perhaps 6 I met through ICQ/IRC. NO really, I'm not a nerd. All the girls I met through the single site, we quickly found out we had nothing in common. Sure, the profiles might looks similar, but once we got together, nothing.

Girls I met from chat, I tended to know a bit better, and whilst none of them lasted longer than a couple of dates, I still talk to most of them and they are good friends.

My problem with single sites is that I have yet to find one that has keyword search. Is it really that hard to do? (Thats a rhetorical question, I've got 6 years experience designing databases and websites). I'm sure that say, rsvp.com.au, with its supposed half a million members, (not to shabby for a site that serves a country with a total population of just under 20 million), would have to have hundreds of girls who can dance, but can I search for the word dance? No, I can't. Can I search for Irish? No. How am I meant to meet someone special, when I can't even search for what I want?

That said, I've seen people get involved at dancing, and when things go bad, they go bad in a big way. Sometimes its better to date outside your circle than in. The girl I am currently been persued by is lovely, but a lot younger than me, which whilst I would like to date her, in the small close knit community of dancers, it is bound to cause problems. Not that I care what anyone else thinks about the age gap, but again, if it doesn't work, the fallout would make chernobyl look good.
 

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