Online Dating-Your Experiences, Thoughs Etc (or-AM I NUTS?)

dancin_feet said:
I know what you mean lujan. We've been good friends for a while now, but the rumours started when we were cast in our studio's Rocky Horror group routine as Brad and Janet (the instructor's doing!!). We weren't obvious at all, already being friends, but everyone started rumours about us so we decided to have fun with it for a while and play up to the taunts, but somewhere along the line it's gotten real.

There's no point in living in secrecy. The lies you have to tell to maintain the facade are just too much trouble. Plus you can't "be together" when you are in a group, which just feels wrong.
Sounds like you may have a good thing, hope everything works out.

Most people at dancing thought I was going out with my best friend, so sometimes they can be wrong :D
tsb said:
for those of you who are the product of an interracial union or are in one with children, i'd be interested to hear whatever you'd be willing to share on your perspectives on cultural identity as well as how such children are embraced by the cultures of their parents.
Ok - now that I have a few minutes with which to think about this...

I myself am interracial (on my paperwork) even though you would NEVER be able to tell it. My birth mom's family is all european (German Irish IIRC) and my birth dad was "Indian" (whatever that meant).

Surya is Indonesian by nationality, but also Chinese by genetics. His cultural upbringing was a mixture of Indonesian & Chinese.

Our daughters are literally Asian-American.

Surya and I were actually talking about how culture plays such a huge role in the life of a relationship last night over dinner. It was an interesting convo.

We determined that one reason why our relationship is SO successful despite all the "odds" stacked against it is that culturally, we aren't really more than 15% different. What I mean by that is that he can relate to American culture about 85% and I can relate to Asian culture by about 85%. Both of us can pass seamlessly from one culture to the next, whereas his siblings who also spent time here (sis still lives here for school) are no more than 60% able to function in American culture.

Our kids are able to integrate 100% into both cultures (at this time). I think this is due solely to the fact that we do visit his family for extended periods of time or they visit us. And I'm not your typical garden variety "desperate housewife" either.


Active Member
dancin_feet said:
DancePoet said:
Hmmm ... my suggestion would be to see if you can build a conciously loving relationship before revealing the relationship to your studio. It might be tricky to do this, but with practice, patience, and perserverance things will work out ok. Also, if you keep your relationship a secret, you'll discover how eachother feels about dancing with others as well.
I'm not one for keeping secrets. The people at the studio are my adopted family. Besides I think it's going to be obvious to a few people who have been looking for this to happen for a few months now, even if we try to act like nothing is going on. Going to be a tough thing to keep hiding. Just don't think that a new relationship needs that sort of stress. If we just acknowledge it, then the attention and fanfare will peak for a while but then drop off. Whereas if we keep trying to hide it, the attention will always be there.
I'm with you on this, d_f -- my SO and I didn't try to hide when we started going out together, and I'm glad he didn't want it to be a secret. It would have been very hard.

As for dancing with others, I've been lucky. Although we are both salsaholics, he's more into salsa music and doesn't have my uncontrollable urge :lol: to dance non-stop all night. I reserve certain songs (which I know he likes) for him, but other than that, he doesn't mind watching me dance with other guys and says he enjoys it.
I've done the online dating thing--it was fun even though I'm still single-I had some very interesting dates-very interesting- one guy didnt listen to know that just wouldnt work


Well-Known Member
PiPod said:
I've done the online dating thing--it was fun even though I'm still single-I had some very interesting dates-very interesting- one guy didnt listen to know that just wouldnt work
No music?!? Amazing, isn't it?

I had a girlfriend like that once. She'd heard absolutely no music in the house when she was growing up. Oh my. It was amusing to watch her "dance." :twisted: :lol: She'd never seen people casually dancing to music, so her sense of rhythm was ... underdeveloped. I loved her, though. :cool:

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