Paid dance Social/event with your dance teacher for the entire event time?

samina

Well-Known Member
#21
The women who hire them normally do not get asked to dance much..
FTR, I am no wallflower, and neither are most of the ladies who use this service out here. I also know of at least three respectable men who dance with female pros this way.

The stigma associated with this arrangement stems from these sorts of cultural assumptions, perhaps that only shy old biddies no one wants to dance with do this, or either wanna-be or has-been pros.

There are both accomplished students and accomplished pros that do this here, and my guess it would only take a few pioneers elsewhere to diminish the negative stigma.
 

samina

Well-Known Member
#22
So wouldn't ALOT of people men AND women be a wee bit upset if a couple was "exclusive"?
Meh...some men aren't available to dance with anyway unless they get permission from their wives. ;)

People become accustomed to being exposed to this arrangement. And some of this dancing is really a pleasure to watch. There is one pro-am pair I particularly enjoy watching when they come.
 

etp777

Active Member
#23
I could definitely see the attraction to this, even as a guy. I enjoy social dancing (as long as it's not merengue or push-pull :p ), but depending on my mood, there's definitely something tha'ts a ton of fun about dancing with pro more than students. Not just my pro either, couple pros at other studio I go to. People I've danced with more, we have good connection and understanding of each other, no worries about them not knowing a step I'm trying to lead, etc. It's a different type of fun than social dancing, and I could see why someone might find it worthwhile to spend a bit of money and have that.
 
#24
1. I do not understand what is the big deal to have your teacher dancing exclusively with you during the socials in another studio. It is your money, and the dance school should be happy that their students get to practice more. They way I am thinking, if your school cannot run the socials on their premises when it is convenient for you, then it should not be the teacher or the student problem. This is just bad business, that hear about from the post above.

2. And what is this smirky remark about the wives not letting their husbands to dance with the other ladies? I am fortunate to dance and compete with my husband, because he loves dancing as much as I do. So, we go to socials to practice for the competitions. If he does not dance with the other ladies, neither he nor I should be judged. We were taking group lessons and the other ladies used to fight with me if I cut the line and dance extra round with him. We had to reserve to privates. What is this with American ladies? Get your own man!
 

Larinda McRaven

Site Moderator
Staff member
#25
Unfortunately what we are dealing with is a left over bad taste from several decades ago when rich elderly widowed women used to take dance lessons and trips. Paying huge amounts of money to the pro. These were more escort services than anything else. Exotic trips around the world, dinner-dancing. The women were exploited and lots of the men ended up in jail.

We still deal today with the gigilo reputation. And it is out this type of stereotyping that lots of pros stay away from this activity. Although I do think the asian community in and around the NY area has helped to change that. It is quite common, and a lot of pros don't mind working one weekend night out of the month to aquire some extra cash.
 

samina

Well-Known Member
#26
And what is this smirky remark about the wives not letting their husbands to dance with the other ladies? I am fortunate to dance and compete with my husband, because he loves dancing as much as I do. So, we go to socials to practice for the competitions. If he does not dance with the other ladies, neither he nor I should be judged. We were taking group lessons and the other ladies used to fight with me if I cut the line and dance extra round with him. We had to reserve to privates. What is this with American ladies? Get your own man!
no smirky remark... just fact. as you have clearly stated.
 

nucat78

Active Member
#27
well...in my case...most of the men at the socials I attend are intimidated so I wouldn't be deprieving them of a thing
Heh! You don't scare ME, Blondie! ;)

I'm a little puzzled by this - when we hold socials, I dance with every lady in the room who's available as do most of the other male students. Is this unusual? I do have some favorites like my regular samba partner but...
 
#28
Heh! You don't scare ME, Blondie! ;)

I'm a little puzzled by this - when we hold socials, I dance with every lady in the room who's available as do most of the other male students. Is this unusual? I do have some favorites like my regular samba partner but...
Nucat...is New Jersey too far for you to come social dancing? There are a few like you, but there are many that stick to their one partner - be it wife, SO, dance partner - whatever.
 
#29
What about dancing exclusively with pro at a competition..... Should your pro dance exclusively with you during general dancing if you are his only student at a pro/am comp? I ran into this situation where I was sitting out while pro danced with others. What do you think?
 

samina

Well-Known Member
#30
What about dancing exclusively with pro at a competition..... Should your pro dance exclusively with you during general dancing if you are his only student at a pro/am comp? I ran into this situation where I was sitting out while pro danced with others. What do you think?
he's free game outside of he's been hired for, IMO...
 

anntennis

Active Member
#33
personally, I would have loved to have done this w/ FP... a) b/c I enjoyed his company and B) b/c it would have been a great way for us to work on lead and follow and floorcraft...plus I would know that every dance would be pleasant...but lol...I don't think there would be a price high enough...he generally avoided parties even when he worked at a studio...shrug...ya can't have everything you want...again, while stagekat is about an hour and a half away from me...it is simply unheard of around here...
If that something you really want, I would just ask point blank, and, most likely for a regular private lessons rate, he would agree, if he is independent. In the worst case, he would say "No". But I already asked another pro for a similar event to dance for 3 or 4 hours of private lessons rate depending on how much time I want to dance, and a second pro has agreed too. I guess if they are independent, and are willing to work on Saturday or Sunday, when most variety of good socials take place (nice music, sometime live bands, team socials like Gangster or Caribbean, they would agree. I am talking about pro with very high Pro/Am results, not just looking to make fast money male dance teachers or 6 week wonders or dance escorts or whatever else it was mentioned here. If I am willing to pay about 75/hr, it should be good.

Ironically, the teacher who changed his mind was not the one who competes Pro/Am he was my first teacher in a large NYC studio and perhaps really was concerned about his job or did not want to have any communication/contacts outside of the studio lessons or just did not need extra money. I do not know.

I moved to the next pro and asked and very glad that I did. Dancing non-stop all the dances –waltz, foxtrot, tango, Latin, swing, hustle, Latin, International, American, mix and match, to my ability level and reaching for better results, is a lot of fun.
 

samina

Well-Known Member
#34
Dancing non-stop all the dances –waltz, foxtrot, tango, Latin, swing, hustle, Latin, International, American, mix and match, to my ability level and reaching for better results, is a lot of fun.
and if you keep doing this, what a great way to make some marked improvement, too!
 

Larinda McRaven

Site Moderator
Staff member
#35
What about dancing exclusively with pro at a competition..... Should your pro dance exclusively with you during general dancing if you are his only student at a pro/am comp? I ran into this situation where I was sitting out while pro danced with others. What do you think?
Only if pro is getting hourly rate for the entire evening.
 

Larinda McRaven

Site Moderator
Staff member
#36
Dancing non-stop all the dances –waltz, foxtrot, tango, Latin, swing, hustle, Latin, International, American, mix and match, to my ability level and reaching for better results, is a lot of fun.
to my ability level and reaching for better results, is a lot of fun
For YOU!. It is still a job for him.

Maybe the first pro just did not want to dance non-stop on his weekend. Ya know we do dance almost non-stop all week long. What do You do for work? Now do you want to go do it all over again on your Sunday off, or on a Saturday night.
 

etp777

Active Member
#37
I'd agree with Larinda. Unless you agreed that part of your payment was for them to dance with you in general dancing, then pro has no obligation. It migght be good for business, but certainly not a requirement. I won't ask pro to dance during general dancing (well, think I did oncce at least comp, but with 4 hours of dancing, you go through a LOT of songs :) ), though she will always ask me at least once. I leave that to her though.
 

etp777

Active Member
#38
Heh! You don't scare ME, Blondie! ;)

I'm a little puzzled by this - when we hold socials, I dance with every lady in the room who's available as do most of the other male students. Is this unusual? I do have some favorites like my regular samba partner but...
This definitely isn't always the case. I try to follow the same rule, and grab someone new each song. But there are a lot of guys who will only dance with a specific set of women. Also certain women get asked a lot less often, both newest students, and ones who've been there the longest. It's often a lose lose situation. I see women who don't get enough dances, reacah poitn where they'll dance every song, then again reach point where they don't get enough dances, as fasc and others have mentioned.
 

anntennis

Active Member
#39
he's free game outside of he's been hired for, IMO...
It is true, but I understand DancerGA. You kind of expect that a pro you just spend a fortune on, will dance with you on Competition socials. May be not exclusivly, but stil will dance. If he would not, I would feel very hurt too.
In a regular business ( Financials/or Pharma) you take your business financial clients to a sport game, dinner or show to hope to keep them.

In this situation, that pro is so sure of himself, and it is not a good marketing skill.

All my pros would dance with me on a regular socials, at least a few dances ( on average 3 in the evening). In this case I am talking about regular non-paid socials held at the studios.
 

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