Paid dance Social/event with your dance teacher for the entire event time?

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#61
Heh! You don't scare ME, Blondie! ;)

I'm a little puzzled by this - when we hold socials, I dance with every lady in the room who's available as do most of the other male students. Is this unusual? I do have some favorites like my regular samba partner but...
there are a few men that I can rely on but they make the rounds and since most are single I don't blame them
 

etp777

Active Member
#62
So it seems Nucat is a short drive from Fasc but somehow NJD and Sam are ones he's gonna be dancing with. SOmething wrong witht hat. :)
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#63
What about dancing exclusively with pro at a competition..... Should your pro dance exclusively with you during general dancing if you are his only student at a pro/am comp? I ran into this situation where I was sitting out while pro danced with others. What do you think?
my FP always paid each of his ladies the courtesy of one dance...after that his life was his own...as it should be
 
#64
My experience was dancing during the competition's evening banquet ceremonies. I was on a package from my studio and was the only student with pro. I'm not saying he should dance every dance with me. Just wondering what everyone thought.
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#65
If that something you really want, I would just ask point blank, and, most likely for a regular private lessons rate, he would agree, if he is independent. In the worst case, he would say "No". But I already asked another pro for a similar event to dance for 3 or 4 hours of private lessons rate depending on how much time I want to dance, and a second pro has agreed too. I guess if they are independent, and are willing to work on Saturday or Sunday, when most variety of good socials take place (nice music, sometime live bands, team socials like Gangster or Caribbean, they would agree. I am talking about pro with very high Pro/Am results, not just looking to make fast money male dance teachers or 6 week wonders or dance escorts or whatever else it was mentioned here. If I am willing to pay about 75/hr, it should be good.

Ironically, the teacher who changed his mind was not the one who competes Pro/Am he was my first teacher in a large NYC studio and perhaps really was concerned about his job or did not want to have any communication/contacts outside of the studio lessons or just did not need extra money. I do not know.

I moved to the next pro and asked and very glad that I did. Dancing non-stop all the dances –waltz, foxtrot, tango, Latin, swing, hustle, Latin, International, American, mix and match, to my ability level and reaching for better results, is a lot of fun.
every one's scenario is different...ain't gonna happen with FP ir NP...very few things in life are certain...but those two things are
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#66
This definitely isn't always the case. I try to follow the same rule, and grab someone new each song. But there are a lot of guys who will only dance with a specific set of women. Also certain women get asked a lot less often, both newest students, and ones who've been there the longest. It's often a lose lose situation. I see women who don't get enough dances, reacah poitn where they'll dance every song, then again reach point where they don't get enough dances, as fasc and others have mentioned.
most of the guys do make the rounds...but do skip me...and it's okay on a certain level...I get it...just sort of a drag...and since I am also spoken for both relationally and competitively, the hurts any additional prospects...no pro is going to try to woo me...so I don't get much staff action either..meh...danced myself right out of prospects
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#68
It is true, but I understand DancerGA. You kind of expect that a pro you just spend a fortune on, will dance with you on Competition socials. May be not exclusivly, but stil will dance. If he would not, I would feel very hurt too.
In a regular business ( Financials/or Pharma) you take your business financial clients to a sport game, dinner or show to hope to keep them.

In this situation, that pro is so sure of himself, and it is not a good marketing skill.

All my pros would dance with me on a regular socials, at least a few dances ( on average 3 in the evening). In this case I am talking about regular non-paid socials held at the studios.
it really depends...I had a friendship with FP...I went above and beyond and I hoped for the basic courtesies that acknowleged that, which (after growing through a brief training period of understanding that) he was kind enough oblige me with...and that amounted--appropriately-- to one dance... I think it is very presumptuous, regardless of what one spends (and let me assure you that my dance budget was hefty) that one has bought some sort of allegiance that simply isn't appropriate...the price is the price...it doesn't come with inherent fondness..one dance is a matter of respect...the rest I respected him enough to know that he didn't belong to me...and w/ NP...that man should simply never be expected to dance more than he already dances at a comp...case closed
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#70
Anntennis, please understand that what I'm about to say is not meant to be harsh, and I'm really not trying to attack you.

I think you're taking this whole thing with your pro way too personally.

Just because you've spent a fortune does not mean that he should feel any obligation to dance with you aside from time that you've paid for. It's not a personal thing. It's not an insult to you. On his own time, he has absolutely NO obligation to you or to anyone else. If he wanted to sit there and twiddle his thumbs all evening, it's his right. It's not about you.

If you're expecting that because you've spent a lot of money, you should get some of his attention outside of lesson/comp time, I think you need to stop and think about things. Look at it from the other side of things. It almost comes across as sort of an "I'll take my business elsewhere if you don't X,Y, and/or Z" sort of a blackmail. Any amount of money spent doesn't entitle you to any more than what you explicitly paid for, IMO.

And I know all about the financial/phamaceutical wooing of advisors and clients--DH is/has been involved in both of those fields. It's entirely a different scenario.
agree....what one pays one pays...and one has to do that without an expectation...if one has an expectation it should be for reasons besides pay...ie ...if one's pro is expecting allowances that bespeak a friendship and understanding...then one's pro should expect to also care to return friendship...if ones pro is businesslike, one's pro is businesslike...but none of it should be about what money buys
 

kayak

Active Member
#75
Anntennis, Perhaps I missed your answer on one of the other pages, but don't you hate your dance pros? I seem to remember several threads about not liking them or their costs. Why on earth would you want to pay big bucks to dance with someone you don't like?
 

Larinda McRaven

Site Moderator
Staff member
#76
No, actually I am not angry. And I do not hate social dancing. I social dance all the time, with my students. MANY of my students and Boston locals frequent this board and will testify that I love my time dancing with them. But what I take offense at is the "entitlement" thing. I don't want anyone ever to emotionally blackmail me into dancing with them. "Dance with me or I take my business else where." I would simply say "Well that is your choice. Good luck and God Bless". I don't babysit my students. The ones that need more attention than I can give end up at other studios anyway.

And I (as well as others) I gave you a very easy answer. If the first pro did not want to spend his weekend off with you, that was his choice. If the second pro decided his weekend time was worth the money you offered for a social partner, then good for you and him.

And good luck at your upcoming competition. If the pro you hired for you weekend dancing also dances as much with you at the competition as you expect, then you have a gem of a teacher. Most pros would not.
 

anntennis

Active Member
#77
Anntennis, Perhaps I missed your answer on one of the other pages, but don't you hate your dance pros? I seem to remember several threads about not liking them or their costs. Why on earth would you want to pay big bucks to dance with someone you don't like?
Where did you get anything about hate?

About cost: Pros charge different prices for competition per dance. I never competed, and was curious how the price fair or not. Various pros quated different price for the comp.

Lessons rate in NY/Nj is pretty much the same.

Hate, by the way, is a very strong feeling, and I would not use this word lightly.
I would not socialize , communicate, forget paying anything to anybody I hate. Why? There are a lot of schools and pro choices.

I did try a few teachers before finding my current pros in various NY/NJ studios. It is about what I get for my money and how well I learn to dance after my investment and how much joy I get from dance. You can't get it from somebody you hate.

You must misred or misunderstood the thread I posted.
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#78
Anntennis, Perhaps I missed your answer on one of the other pages, but don't you hate your dance pros? I seem to remember several threads about not liking them or their costs. Why on earth would you want to pay big bucks to dance with someone you don't like?
let's step back from any incindiary (sp?) comments
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#79
No, actually I am not angry. And I do not hate social dancing. I social dance all the time, with my students. MANY of my students and Boston locals frequent this board and will testify that I love my time dancing with them. But what I take offense at is the "entitlement" thing. I don't want anyone ever to emotionally blackmail me into dancing with them. "Dance with me or I take my business else where." I would simply say "Well that is your choice. Good luck and God Bless". I don't babysit my students. The ones that need more attention than I can give end up at other studios anyway.

And I (as well as others) I gave you a very easy answer. If the first pro did not want to spend his weekend off with you, that was his choice. If the second pro decided his weekend time was worth the money you offered for a social partner, then good for you and him.

And good luck at your upcoming competition. If the pro you hired for you weekend dancing also dances as much with at the competition as you expect, then you have a gem of a teacher. Most pros would not.
well said IMO...here's the thing ...it is no secret that I adored FP...he was my first teacher...I owe him everything...and I would happily pay for any dancing he was inclined to do...but he owes me nothing...he did his job well for the most part...and beyond the social grace of a single dance at a comp...he owes me nothing...he has my gratitude....as for NP, again, the man dances like a machine I simply cannot fathom having any expectation beyond tolerating my inadequecies on the floor...OMG ...lesson tomorrow...:doh:
 

Dance Ads