Partner tryout/first lesson

#1
Out of the blue, my instructor offered to introduce me to a potential dance partner. I agreed and our first lesson is coming soon. This will be the first time we actually meet and talk, so it will be sort of tryout mixed with talking under the supervision of the instructor. I had two partners before and still don't know how to handle these first introductions. Logic tells me we need to talk about long-term goals, but I am not good at setting goals and usually just go with the flow. I've seen the guy and have an idea about his dancing level, which suits my level just fine, but we are somewhat different people and I worry how well our personalities would work together. I am usually too nice :) and tend to go with my partner demands as far as time commitment, so I want to set that limit straight right away (like x number of lessons and y number of hours), but other than that, I don't have any goals (at least not yet). I also don't want to give up dancing and competing with my instructor.
Any advice for this first meeting?
 

Dr Dance

Well-Known Member
#2
Yes. Don't agree to have sex with him.

...

But seriously, be reluctant to agree to much of anything during this "meet and greet" lesson shy of scheduling a future lesson if the first lesson works out. It's fine to talk about goals. But be hesitant to set any limits right away. If he does "demand" anything, respond that you will "take it under advisement." Give yourself at least a day or so to think it over... weigh the pros and cons.

I find that it is "odd" that your instructor is setting this up. ALL of my instructors do not "play cupid" (even though this is only a dance partnership, not a life partnership) because of possible ramifications later. My instructors would instead suggest venues to search for a suitable partner rather than become directly involved. What is motivating your instructor? Is he looking out for your best interests? Or is he doing this to keep his flow of money intact?

I wouldn't be too concerned about you two having "different personalities." Focus instead on your commonalities.
 
#3
I would suggest don't change your routines/rituals too much, just for your new partner yet. Dance partner might come and go for various reasons, for example, my previous partner had to move for a new career opportunities. So don't be "too nice" too quickly until you are sure of and comfortable with your partner's commitment level.
 
#5
I find that it is "odd" that your instructor is setting this up. ALL of my instructors do not "play cupid" (even though this is only a dance partnership, not a life partnership) because of possible ramifications later. My instructors would instead suggest venues to search for a suitable partner rather than become directly involved. What is motivating your instructor? Is he looking out for your best interests? Or is he doing this to keep his flow of money intact?
.
Yes, it seemed odd to me as well and the first question I asked was: "Are you trying to get rid of me?". Obviosly he said no, he just wanted me to be able to practice more (true, I hate practicing by myself) and would give him a chance to see my dancing from a distance and be a better teacher. A little bit more background: that guy was taking lessons with another lady for a while from my current instructor, but they split up recently for reasons unknown to me (I didn't ask). Yes, I suspect money flow is a factor here, but I also know it's a rare opportunity for me to get an amature partner, as I've completely given up on that idea a while back.
 

MaggieMoves

Well-Known Member
#7
Have coffee or a light snack after to discuss direction & goals outside of the studio. People are more prone to be less honest in front of more people they want to impress.
 

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