pygmalion's dating advice thread

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latingal

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LC, as I noted in a previous post, please do not use this forum to continue previous interactions with Fleur. Fleur has sent me an acknowledgment of my request via pm, I would appreciate if you would also respect this request....
 

pygmalion

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Two thoughts, and neither are facetious.

1)Why choose? Seriously. Unless you just seriously don't want to get into dating multiple men, even casually, there's nothing that says you have to decide now. Date each of them a bit, and then see if the decisionis more clear.

2)Look at what you pointed out about each of them: financial stability, emotional compatability, physical beauty. Which are you truly looking for now...or, if you're thinking long-term, which do you need most in your life?

quix said:
I need a girlfriend who is a hippie at heart, a yuppie on the outside, and a generally logical creature who won't expect me to partake in her existential crises (and better yet, who won't have them), and someone who is also intuitive. Bonus points if she can dance.

Only problem is that I've no idea where to find one of them... :-/


And in other actual dating-related news, I was scrolling back past the tiresome fodder (no, tt, not your absolutely valuable post. that was not fodder at all. :applause: ) and found these two posts within a page of each other. Interesting. So here's a question for the void. Is it possible to have it all? A girl who's a hippie, a yuppie, logical and intuitive? A guy who's rich, handsome and funny?

Or is that the kind of idealism that leaves you high and dry?
 

pygmalion

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I also have a few more questions/topics prompted by recent discussions. Feel free to take any or all and run with them, as long there's no sniveling, sniping, belly-aching or navel-gazing involved. :wink:

One: Is it possible to find true love the second time around? Or does the ... crud ... from the first time have to poison the well?


Two: How important is it that a couple be compatible in their preferred entertainments? For example TD said that she's adventurous and may be taking her BF for trapeze (sp?) lessons. I'm going on record and saying that that would be excruciating torture for me. So, should I avoid all adventure dudes? How much does it really matter that I'd rather sit around and read Jeeves?
 

pygmalion

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I got a guy who's handsome and funny, we're working together on making him rich. :)

I'll tell you what my brother used to say (before his brain injury, he doesn't joke much these days. :-( )

Here's the definition of a handsome man. Gnarled, old, stumpy, fat ... and with ten million dollars in the bank. :lol:
 

pygmalion

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if you haven't taking an expository writing course, you really should think about taking one. Believe, engineers need it as much as humanities majors. If you've already taken one, please consider the lessons learned. Vomiting up all the bits and pieces you've been picking up off videos and websites undigested does nothing to get a coherent point across,

If you don't mind, I think I'm going to take this over to the parenting thread. There are a lot of great ideas implied, here, that tie into the discussion we had in that thread about a good education. I've run into this, over and over, while mentoring younguns. They are well on the way to a degree, but are lacking essential chunks of a good education, IMO. Technical folks, for example, who can't design a real-world experiment and draw logical conclusions from the data. People (any sort of people) who don't have written and verbal communication skills. I'd love to hear the thoughts of the collective community over there, by way of preparing DS, but also just to exchange ideas. :cool:
 

pygmalion

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If you're all that then it stands to reason the 'all that' is out there as well.

Question is, am I all that, or am I SO not all that and looking to find someone who'll fill in the pieces of me that I know are deficient? (Not talking about you, quix. Talking about me.)

And is finding someone who completes me (Pardon the cliche.) necessarily a bad thing?
 
Question is, am I all that, or am I SO not all that and looking to find someone who'll fill in the pieces of me that I know are deficient? (Not talking about you, quix. Talking about me.)

And is finding someone who completes me (Pardon the cliche.) necessarily a bad thing?
That's another conversation - about self awareness. I know I'm all that, but I doubt my looks despite evidence to the contrary. This alone keeps me from being confident and the rest is easy to deduce - we all know better than to be insecure. I have a plan - but lets not discuss that now :) As to the rest, I'm also learning that when you are all that, there will still be aspects of you that will have room for growth and consequently, can be a deal breaker for others.
 

pygmalion

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when you are all that, there will still be aspects of you that will have room for growth and consequently, can be a deal breaker for others.

Wow. I wish sami was here, because I'm about to attempt, unsuccessfully, to paraphrase her. Isn't it better to know? The more clearly you know who you are and who you aren't, the more decisively you can screen out the poor matches and get on to meeting the good matches.

A lot of time can be wasted, if I'm wishy-washy about who I am and what I want.
 

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
I used to have a list of about 10-15 things I wanted from a GF. I've been slowly paring it down to 2-3... I want the rest too but they need to be non-essentials.

My therapist asked me to do the same -- make a list of must haves. He also asked that I make a list of would-be-nice-to-haves and absolute show-stopper unacceptables.

The third list was actually most enlightening to me.
 

pygmalion

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I would imagine things can move around between the must haves and would like to haves..

You may be right, ww. That's not what I found. My must haves list is super, super short, and my like to have list is fairly long. But it is what is is, once you go through the process of really thinking about it. My experience only. :cool:
 
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