Question not for Faint Hearted, Do Not Read if easily Offended!

#82
This problem is mentioned in M.A. Numminen's novel "Tango is my Passion". The solution: a quick exit from the dance floor and a vigorous application of birch twigs to the affected part.
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#83
:rolleyes:

Yeah well I'd like to pretend that ahemm this physical reaction has never happened to me but it wouldnt be true .... (girls all run away with horror)

You are right, we are what we are. I find sometimes it happens when you've been having bad dances all evening , and then you suddenly dance with a goddess who "gets you". All the pent up frustration gets channeled and you become intensely aware of the other dancer - you ask, why her? why does she "get me"? The admiration and gratitude can easily be confused into sexual attraction.

I would refer to this generally as "earthing". Sometimes you build up this reservoir of passion, frustration, whatever and it has to be dispersed. Most of the time, a break and a glass of water do the trick. But not always. Sometimes the energy goes into ones extremities instead :cool:
:cool:yes, dancing with a deity can have that effect;)
 
#86
Ok guys,
it's been a while but I have a new dilema. It's something I can't really talk to people about face to face as it is a bit embarrassing.

Men with erections during close embrace Tango. Especially if you are a very short girl dancing with a tall man.
Admittedly, I've felt more erections on the Northern or Central Lines in the A.M. Never in a tango situation. But I tend to dance "close" in a "does my bum look big in this" way or Nuevo, so if the lava of Versuvias is threatening to rise, I'm nowhere within the regions of the fall out.

Interestingly, a group of us headed out to the usual post-milonga watering hole (pub) last night and the subject turned to penal posturings. Terry, one good and extremely funny individual piped up: "yeah sure, I have a erection all the time. I had a few earlier on". I immediately turned to him and said, "Terry, please don't tell me you had an erection when we were dancing together." He replied (rather too quickly), "No, Heather, of course not." I turned to look at the others around the table, turned back to him and yelled, "yeah, and why the hell not". Laughter.

I/we (the ladies) learned from Terry that a bloke can have these standing to attention moments several times throughout the day and such movements can also occur involuntarily. (I read once that men tend to have a major erection when they are hung (erm..as in rope around the neck and jumping into the back hole (Neck trauma=Erection?). So I wouldn't place too much connection on Tango+Close Encounters of the Embrace=Erection. It can happen in a Milonga in much the same way it can happen in Church :rolleyes:
 
#88
... occur involuntarily.
For any readers who were not already aware, I think "involuntary" is a key concept from Heather's thread.

It is in fact true that it an occur involuntarily and without stimulation. In my case, this "problem," mitigated with age and believe it is the same for most men. In addition, some men, (even younger ones) can prevent (or immediately cease) the involuntary physiological response through mental gymnastics -- but this does not not work for every man every time. And I believe that certain situations (getting lost in a very sensuous dance, for example) might make such mental gymnastics more difficult.

Once we understand the involuntary nature of the physiological response, I believe the issue becomes what one should do if/when it happens. I think that's been pretty much covered in the thread already. While I don't dance AT, it seems to me that the only proper thing to do is change the dance position to prevent contact with the partner. If the partner doesn't seem to understand why, or insists on contact, that would seem to leave the gentleman with little choice but to whisper something like "I'm sorry, but I need a little extra space because of an involuntary physiological response."

(Fascination, have I edited myself to your standards? ;) )
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#91
just a reminder...to on one in particular, that we endeavor to run a PG site, and I have already done enough editing on this thread...please ...all...be discreet...thanks
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#92
For any readers who were not already aware, I think "involuntary" is a key concept from Heather's thread.

It is in fact true that it an occur involuntarily and without stimulation. In my case, this "problem," mitigated with age and believe it is the same for most men. In addition, some men, (even younger ones) can prevent (or immediately cease) the involuntary physiological response through mental gymnastics -- but this does not not work for every man every time. And I believe that certain situations (getting lost in a very sensuous dance, for example) might make such mental gymnastics more difficult.

Once we understand the involuntary nature of the physiological response, I believe the issue becomes what one should do if/when it happens. I think that's been pretty much covered in the thread already. While I don't dance AT, it seems to me that the only proper thing to do is change the dance position to prevent contact with the partner. If the partner doesn't seem to understand why, or insists on contact, that would seem to leave the gentleman with little choice but to whisper something like "I'm sorry, but I need a little extra space because of an involuntary physiological response."

(Fascination, have I edited myself to your standards? ;) )
yes...although I think the end response would be also better left vague...and dishonest if neccessary, " I am sorry, I (just for a bit) need to dance with a bit of extra space, I have some physical limitations that flare up from time to time" ...cuz, I DON"T wanna know...unless it's my spouse
 
#93
You are right, we are what we are. I find sometimes it happens when you've been having bad dances all evening , and then you suddenly dance with a goddess who "gets you". All the pent up frustration gets channeled and you become intensely aware of the other dancer - you ask, why her? why does she "get me"? The admiration and gratitude can easily be confused into sexual attraction.
This actually sounds very beautiful, love. But as I understand its just a dance, unless it's emulated outside of the dance floor. But getting that other person does sound very appealing. :)
 
#94
This actually sounds very beautiful, love. But as I understand its just a dance
Quite and it boggles my beanie why AT is treated as anything but. And comments like "...unless its my spouse" or (here I quote a woman I know) "I can't take Justin to tango as he doesn't dance it and he'd be too jealous watching me dance with another man..." baffles me. Personally, I am yet to be turned on by anybody at a milonga no matter how raunch he leads the gancho - that said, my s*xual powerhouse is stored in my cranal region and so, I guess, unless that it is stimulated, everything else is dead from the waist downl.;)
 
#95
Quite and it boggles my beanie why AT is treated as anything but. And comments like "...unless its my spouse" or (here I quote a woman I know) "I can't take Justin to tango as he doesn't dance it and he'd be too jealous watching me dance with another man..." baffles me.
hee hee - "he'd be too jealous watching me dance with another man..." - she wishes!!

These are the reasons Paris society was shocked by the tango in 1912..
 
#96
hee hee - "he'd be too jealous watching me dance with another man..." - she wishes!!

These are the reasons Paris society was shocked by the tango in 1912..
Ha, ha, ha. But do you know what I mean? If my boyfriend was jealous with my dancing with another man, I'd sack him. Hell, if my boyfriend was jealous over anything, I'd sack him. Period. I so cannot be dealing with wetnursing another's ego. Too much hard work. I can just about remember to water my plants, much less. Hee, hee.
 
#97
Ha, ha, ha. But do you know what I mean? If my boyfriend was jealous with my dancing with another man, I'd sack him. Hell, if my boyfriend was jealous over anything, I'd sack him. Period. I so cannot be dealing with wetnursing another's ego. Too much hard work. I can just about remember to water my plants, much less. Hee, hee.
Isnt "wetnursing another's ego" shorthand for "having a relationship" :) ?? Yeah, we'd like to think we're all wonderfully mature, but when it comes to the crunch, most of us act like twelve year olds.

I think you may be setting the bar a little too high... :p
 
#98
Isnt "wetnursing another's ego" shorthand for "having a relationship" :)
Seems so. But I try to focus on what I am doing to help grow the soul rather than toss complimentary silver at the Self. Not everybody's cup of Earl Grey, I know.

I think you may be setting the bar a little too high... :p
I remember a male friend once said to me: Heather, you don't need to be dating a man, you need to be dating Jesus. Ha, ha, ha. :rolleyes:
 
#99
Heather2007;640399 Seems so. But I try to focus on what I am doing to help grow the soul rather than toss complimentary silver at the Self. Not everybody's cup of Earl Grey said:
Maybe I was being a little too cynical the first time. What I meant to say is that all relationships are ultimately about give and take. And sometimes partners need compliments/encouragement regardless of whether or not you think it's "good for them".


I remember a male friend once said to me: Heather, you don't need to be dating a man, you need to be dating Jesus. Ha, ha, ha. :rolleyes:
:) But is Jesus a dancer? he can "walk on water" but is that good enough ?!
 

Zoopsia59

Well-Known Member
If my boyfriend was jealous with my dancing with another man, I'd sack him. .
The only time I am a little jealous watching my partner dance with another woman is when she's a better dancer than I am. :rolleyes:

My partner doesn't have this problem since he doesn't think any of the other guys are better dancers than he is ;)
 

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