If my boyfriend was jealous with my dancing with another man, I'd sack him. Hell, if my boyfriend was jealous over anything, I'd sack him. Period. I so cannot be dealing with wetnursing another's ego. Too much hard work.
I try to not fall into these simple kinds of inadequacies. I felt myself being most jealous when one past partner would dance with others. I was bothered by this. Then I realized that i wasn't jealous of her dancing with others; I was jealous of the time spent away from her...regardless of what she were doing. Love's complicated sometimes, oui?
I'm surprised not more references were made to Ballroom Standard (yes I did read the whole thread, took me half hour).
After all, Standard is where the connection is in the tummy-hip area. Haven't had this problem personally. But regardless of whether the "e" occurs, I think that "something" can be noticed by the lady. This may be a reason for less than full contact in Ballroom Standard, except those that are pro-am, well-established partners, or significant others.
Or, (sorry Angel) some of us have never participated in "ballroom" dance to any great extent, or we don't dance with the same partner all of the or most of the time.
(You've heard the story about one of our presidents, a farmer, the farmer's rooster and his chickens?)
I have to add that this subject "comes up" / "arises", "is brought up" (OK. I'll stop now) because it is something that young men have to deal with. I'd like to write "many young men", but I can only speak from personal experience and limited information from (mostly) female friends.
So, these young men come here to see if they can get information to help them deal with the situation. If we, collectively, don't provide them with some kind of (hopefully) useful information, and a context to put their experience in, what happens next?
They wouldn't be here attempting to dicusss it, more or less anonymously, if they had other places they could go to discuss it.
Kinda reminds me of some of the advice I used to get (and which never worked for me), and is sort of reflected in these lyrics sung by Patty Loveless, who can't get someone out of her mind.
I try to think about Elvis, Memphis
Oprah in the afternoon
I try to think about palm trees, fig leaves
The creature from the black lagoon
I try to think about Shakespeare, leap year
The Beatles or the Rolling Stones
I try to think about hair-do's, tattoos
Sushi bars and saxophones
I try to think about the talk shows, new clothes
But I guess I should have known
I just can't concentrate
You're all I think about these days.
I guess I was speaking more from a dancer's POV, or from one who chooses to become such. We have had to deal so much lately w/ guys using dance as a ....nevermind, you know where that goes.
It was/is not my intention to demean or dismiss the poster's question; I know that it is a valid concern for, not only younger dancers (age/experience), but for many of us when encountering an attraction. There are valid ways to deal w/ it, and I am glad that the subject 'pops up' (OK, I couldn't resist. I just want it to stay legit.
Lastly, I was speaking more in terms of the dance, and saying that int'l typically takes, at least, arguably and in amer., a more profound knowledge/cognition, and one just doesn't have other issues at the moment.