Question not for Faint Hearted, Do Not Read if easily Offended!

Steve Pastor

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Me, too.
And I'm glad to say, I think we have quite a few mature people around. And I'd like to think that is one of the reasons some of the posts are made.
 

fascination

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Staff member
I will also add that it can be a legitimate concern for the ladies as well...not erm...the condition of the situation...but the fact that this sort of contact in general is often unanticipated by newbs and therefore alarming regardless of what is going on physiologically at any given point in time...when I began dancing standard, as a woman who dated her husband at 14 and married him at 20, I wasn't accustomed to being touched by anyone but my spouse, much less inadvertantly becoming aware of another male's anatomy in unforeseen ways...I needed reassurance that it was a routine and utterly irrelevant sort of contact to the gentleman ...and sought that reassurance on DF... so there is certainly some valid reasoning for threads such as these...they just tend to need to be monitored a bit more closely than others...
 
When I first started Ballroom I had a lot of difficulty doing the 'thigh to thigh' spin turns properly because I wasn't sure about putting my leg there.

To get the right leverage at speed you more or less end up dancing crotch to crotch.

My much younger female partner had no problem with it and actively encouraged me to overcome my reticence.. . . but at first I really didn't like it.
 

fascination

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I think the only reason that it ever occurred to me was ; a) my limited exposure to other men in general...and b) the first man I danced standard with was shorter than me as was his inseam...having said that, it is no longer an issue and ceased being an issue relatively soon after the initial circumstance
 

fascination

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and now, frankly, I find eye contact far more alarming than bodily contact (in most cases) if the dance is sensual...but I have always been a physical person so it makes sense that that little event would pass more quickly than having someone look at me while I am trying to do something sensual...thus, i far prefer standard...some folks are "look but dont touch"...I'm more "touch but dont look"...no perverse comments from the peanut gallery
 

etp777

Active Member
heh, I tend to shy away from the close contact either way, below waist or in eyes. :)

Heh, and when I do watch eyes with teachers i get yelled at because I'm supposed to be looking off to their left, not at them. :p
 
and now, frankly, I find eye contact far more alarming than bodily contact (in most cases)
I'm right there too... I know my eyes have been known to get me into trouble...yeah sometimes I do it on purpose with certain people...but mostly I try not to look into the eyes of my partner...esp if I don't know them real well. A look is much more powerful than a touch for sure IME.
 

waltzguy

Active Member
Heh, and when I do watch eyes with teachers i get yelled at because I'm supposed to be looking off to their left, not at them. :p
Hey etp, I've done the same thing. My excuse is to say, "but I was paying attention to what you were saying", thus my eye contact. Because my teacher tends to be talkative.
 
In Modern Jive (and I don't think you can do really do this well in any other dance form) I like to slowly (sometimes faster) rotate the dance so as to visually isolate my partner and myself from background, she has to fix her gazeon me to retain her bearings.

If you time it right to the music you get a really nice effect of intimacy which you can release when the music changes.
 
The worst ever was when I was beginning to get a bit more confident on the floor and moving a bit more fluidly - then I had a total dance catastrophe. My partner went one way and I went the other and I ended up with a large handful of breast.

She went deep scarlett and her face flashed with anger - our instructor (fortunately) burst out laughing - if she hadn't I think I might have got slapped.
 

fascination

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wait a mo F: if the man is shorter aren't you more, rather than less likely to invade his, shall we say. private space when you step between his legs?
more likely...that was the problem...he was shorter...as I said, it is no longer an issue A) b/c I got over it and B) I no longer dance with him
 

fascination

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Doesn't it depend on what you are transmitting? Affection, attraction, distain, etc yes. Pure carnal feelings? I don't think so...
for me, it isn't about what I am transmitting it is about what they might be transmitting like; "OMG, I hope she doesn't actually think those are good rumba walks":)....I just don't wanna know what most men are thinking if they are looking at me...I just don't want to know...and I am fairly perceptive so if I look at them I may well have a pretty good idea...and on that front I think ignorance is bliss;)
 

fascination

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Staff member
I have also noticed that if a fellow isn't accustomed to dancing with a busty woman there are certain moves that, well, he is going to very quickly learn to leave more space on ...
 

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